Is it this hard to live with bereavement regrets?

Kafka-sama

I think it is very sad to have lost my grandmother.
And you are living with that sorrow now.

That sorrow is something that goes away. You don't need to regret it. It's just that the conditions for it to no longer function as a life were met, and they died. It pulls out the sorrow of that time (things from the past) and repeats it as if they were sad now. Your grandmother's life has become a part of your body and is still alive today. Aren't they closer? You wouldn't exist without your grandmother.

And now you're being kept alive. If you think in your head that there is nothing but misfortune, that's all there is to life. Take a close look at reality. Where do you see misfortune? You can live a happy life.

You must be sad to have lost your grandmother, whom you loved so much. I also had a grandmother (of course). My sweet grandmother passed away, and it seems that the image of her grieving comes to mind.

Now, when I'm reading Glee Care books, I need to be deeply sad when I'm sad. It seems that if you don't be sad enough when you should be sad, your sadness will drag on forever. So be sad when you're sad.

As for the rest of the story, it may be quite difficult to rise from sadness alone. I don't know if it's in Miyazaki prefecture where you live, but I think I can recommend attending a bereaved family meeting.

I only know about the Association of Survivors of Cancer Patients in Shiga Prefecture, but the bereaved families gathered and talked. The chairman (who lost his husband to cancer) who created this meeting is a highly instructive person, and he is a reliable person who has studied grief care a lot. There are university faculty members who specialize in clinical psychology, and there are also several members who have obtained clinical psychologist qualifications, and case meetings are being held for individual attendees and treatment is being examined. I see, I thought there should be a lot of people who can recover.

Even if you think about it in terms of common sense, it should be easier to gain strength to surpass grief if you talk with friends who are in the same grief rather than being sad alone. I think two people are better than one, and three people are better than two.

Also, I think it's a good idea to try documenting your grandmother's memories, such as essays. My favorite picture book “Unforgiven Gifts” is a picture book made by a woman in her twenties in England based on the grief of losing her beloved grandmother. Please read this picture book. It's hard to even draw a picture book, but why not try spelling out your unforgettable memories in sentences for yourself.

I would like to express my condolences for the loss of my grandmother in an unexpected accident.

Every day, we live in this world where countless conditions are intertwined.
They live different lives because the overlapping conditions are different from person to person.

My grandmother was also unhappy, and those conditions overlapped.
No one could have predicted this, and there was nothing we could do about it.

If you blame yourself or others, nothing will come out of it.
What's more, if I was blaming myself that I might have managed to do something, my grandmother can't help but worry about you.

The first thing you have to do is how you take and refer to the life of your grandmother, who I have always watched by your side.

It's about how you can use the appearance of your grandmother that you have always seen and the words of your grandmother you are used to hearing in your own life.

When people live in this world, it means seeing people and at the same time showing themselves to those around them.
A person must always go through as many breakups as they have met.
That's why how you live is important.

Nichiren Shonin says, “You should learn about death first, and then learn various things later.”
I think it is precisely because other people, and someday, that there will always be a time to break up, so after understanding it, we should do our best to live this time to the fullest without regrets.

If you think you were the closest to your grandmother, who else can pass on the teachings your grandmother left to those later?

Aren't you the only one who can make your grandmother think “I'm glad I showed you so many things,” “I'm glad I left so many things,” and “I'm glad I lived in this world.”

Please take what you take your grandmother's life, throw away what you throw away, make it your own, and tell those who follow you as your own.

I'm sure Grandma will be pleased.

As we age, our ability to swallow weakens, and the risk of aspiration increases.
If it were animals rather than humans, they would have died long ago.
They were born human, and there were people who took care of them, so they were able to live even at an old age.
Aspiration is unavoidable if you are an elderly person.
There are individual differences in where aging progresses in the body, and the final cause of death is different for each person, but people always grow old, get sick, and die.
Sadness is the affliction of anger.
The anguish of anger is a poison that causes trouble and suffering.
It's better to think, “It's not my fault, it's unavoidable because I'm aging,” rather than creating poison with my mind.