I have a lover I'm in a relationship with, and I can't help but be worried that just emails and phone calls are a little slow will cool down my feelings or that they're being cheated on.
If I keep saying to my lover that I want them to email me more, I can't say it because they seem to dislike it, but if I put up with it, I become even more anxious.
What should I do?
The Buddha told me to stay away from such things because my heart was held captive by love and I was in pain and agony. I was told to let go of my obsession.
If you can leave, try leaving.
If you can't do that, you have no choice but to endure it. That's love.
Momiji-sama
This is a humble answer to the question.
Sometimes “romance” can blind people, and various adverse effects may occur.
From the basic law of Buddhism that everything is empty, there is nothing that can be viewed as a reality, but as ordinary people, we are caught by ignorance, and it is unavoidable to some extent that we become obsessed with various things and things. However, it is hoped that various afflictions and attendant afflictions occur due to reality views and obsessions, and misconduct will accumulate due to that act, and as a result, receiving rewards for bad karma ahead of time will be avoided as much as possible.
However, I think it would be terrible to suddenly “let them eliminate ignorance, worry, and bad work.” It may be effective for those who express the Bodhi Heart and have practiced the three sciences of precepts, determination, and wisdom to some extent, but it's not easy for us who are ordinary people.
Now, it comes down to how ordinary people should respond, but in the case of Momiji, an emotion that has become passionate due to “romance,” it is an “uneasy” heart, but how to first suppress that heart and whether or not you can return to yourself where you can make calm and normal judgments is important. “Romance” is an instinct, so we must make adjustments so that we can firmly return our reason, assuming that it is difficult to suppress it from our head.
That boyfriend needs to think carefully and calmly about his future, such as whether he is seriously thinking about his future, for example, whether he is seriously thinking about marriage, children, life plans, etc. for the future, whether this relationship is causing trouble to people around him, such as family, friends, work, etc., and whether it is a relationship that is positive for both of us.
After thinking calmly, if this love affair (in Momiji's case, due to “anxiety” feelings, etc.) interferes with your family, work, or life, I know that it is important to leave once, as Inoue Hiroboshi said. I pray for Momiji's happiness.
Gassho
Momiji-sama
Nice to meet you. I'll give you my answer.
Worrying and thinking about the other person is also part of a relationship, isn't it?
But if you don't trust your partner one day, your next relationship won't be a better relationship with each other.
Also, of course, don't you want them to believe in you too?
By noticing that, you should naturally pave the way.
Gassho
Hello Momiji.
I don't think it's a choice between putting up with it or saying everything...
Momiji's uneasy feelings. Do you keep everything in your heart, or do you reveal all of your feelings? Or tell them in about six minutes.
As for how to communicate, do you say it directly by letter, email, phone call, or if you want to make friends or have a family?
At places, alone, at home, at a park, in a memorable place, etc.
No matter what, I think “now” is important.
Why don't you just talk about how you feel “right now”?
“I can't sleep at night because I'm worried when I'm in a relationship.
I can't help but feel uneasy that my emails and phone calls are just a little slow, and I'm worried that I'm being cheated on.
If I keep saying to my lover that I want them to email me more, I can't say it because they seem to dislike it, but if I put up with it, I become even more anxious.” That's because I've already decided what I'm going to say.