My mind goes through my head about my cousin who committed suicide

Honey Joe-sama

Nice to meet you, my name is Tetsuya Urakami, a Shinshu monk.

My maternal cousin died by suicide before, and I also had a past where my cousin on the father's side got involved and died.
And now, thinking about my cousins, I'm lost in the meaning of their lives and what they should do for themselves. We are losing the meaning of life.

I've read that I'm in a situation like the one above, but what do you think?

What can living people do for those who have died? I think this is a question that can never be answered as long as communication with the deceased is impossible.

Based on that, dare I say, a “legal memorial service” should be held, isn't it?
I am a monk of the Shinshu sect (Pure Land Shinshu), and in this sect, I think “those who died became Buddhas and come to the Pure Land of Paradise.”

What makes the deceased who became the Buddha happy? I think that means that those who are connected to the present will live by relying on the teachings (law) of the Buddha.

I'm not saying you should blindly believe in Buddhism. After examining Buddhism, they shift to a Buddhist way of life centered on mercy and wisdom rather than the logic of this world centered on desire.

I think this will be a way of life that values Buddhism, a way of life called a memorial service.

I was also deeply saddened by the loss of 2 irreplaceable people this year.
But I want to live a way of life where my loved ones who have gone to the Pure Land would be proud of me.

appending
I belong to a cross-sectarian group called the “Association of Monks Facing Suicide and Suicide,” which supports suicidal idealists and suicide survivors.
The website address is listed, so please refer to it.
http://www.bouzsanga.org

That happened, wasn't it? It was a painful experience.
When we think about life, we think about life and death at the same time. Also, it reminds me of loved ones close to me and those who have been widowed. Especially if it was a sudden break up, I'm worried about what they thought ~ what I was able to do.
Even though I don't have any points of contact on a daily basis, what I immediately remember is that I think in a heavy sense that it is a strong message from there ⁉ and don't feel uneasy, and I think you are facing the fact that you are living now firmly. That's very important.

Me too... When I look deeply at myself, I sometimes notice that I can't do anything about myself, so there are times when it gets tough, but that's why I'm happy that the Buddha is snuggling up to me. This is because the people who went there first made me notice a precious relationship.

I feel this feeling with my body. Sometimes, it's good to go to the temple for hearings. A temple is a place where you can encounter such precious relationships, and it is a place where friends who can have fun together gather.

Honey Joe

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

I'm guessing that the anguish of the previous question hasn't been fully healed yet... of course it will take time to resolve it, and there will also be things with your husband, so don't be impatient and aim for good.

Suicide/suicide issues... suffering suicides, death with dignity, euthanasia suicides, outrage suicides, mercy and altruistic suicides... really, many difficult issues are ahead. Previously, I gave poor answers to the following related questions.

Question “About my own death”
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/98

Most suicides in modern society can be caused by pessimism, hopelessness, disappointment, etc. due to anguish. In this case, the cause can be viewed from a Buddhist perspective as being something called anguish (trouble bothering) and ignorance (fundamental ignorance).

It is difficult in Buddhism, but since it deals with the causal theory of reincarnation and karma, it must be said that the consequences of acts due to the evil cause of worry and ignorance will unfortunately lead to bad consequences...

Of course, by experiencing a certain Buddhist relationship, it is hoped that they will be able to prepare a state where they can learn and practice Buddhism towards an easy enlightenment and nirvana away from anguish, worry, and ignorance. If you deny this, you may also be denying all of the guidance and admonition at the wake and funeral, the memorial service and merit conversion thereafter, or the memorial service for the Buddha's recompense.

I know that even for those who have committed suicide or committed suicide, it may be necessary for us to carry out a memorial service to help the Buddha become the path of Buddhism, so that we can reach a peaceful enlightenment and nirvana, and to that end, we also apply even a small amount of chasing good fortune and merit to those who have passed away. At this time, I believe that our daily good deeds will be the most important.

By all means, even if you are with Honey Joe, of course, it is important, but I would like to recommend that you do your devotion because you can do good deeds for a great relationship without being too concerned about blood relationships or relatives, and that you can do good deeds for good deeds toward chasing good fortune and merit offerings.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

It is said that people who committed suicide killed their own body,
In other words, they have committed murder.
Don't kill people just because it's painful.
It's the same even if you say it yourself.

There are a lot of painful and sad things in life
What is being born into this world
It means it has its own meaning.
The meaning of living slowly and calmly again
Please think about it.
There must be fun memories even in the midst of hardships,
Right now, for some reason, nothing but sad things come to mind, right?

“I suddenly remember this cousin”
Isn't your cousin accusing you of something?
If you think again, don't be like me.

First of all, I recommend this as the mentors say “memorial service”...
However, depression or menopause... please don't put this aside.
A memorial service is important, but I cannot recommend it if the woman doing the memorial service herself is unwell.
It's nice to have a memorial service while watching your physical condition.

Hello Honey Joe.

It's about my cousin and her family. When I think about it, various feelings boil up and arise.
I think “legal memorial services” are quite good. As Master Uragami said, “Dharma memorial service” means examining the Buddha's teachings, getting help, and living. It doesn't just indicate that Honey Joe recites sutras like a monk. It's difficult to read the sutras, so why don't you try it...

As I wrote in the title, “It's the most important memorial service for you to be healthy.”
Examine the Buddha's teachings, get help, and aim for health. It's very important, and I think it's precious.

I think that is the true meaning of the phrase that someone else's portion will live.

Your difficult circumstances must have been compounded by your cousin.
It must be painful.
I'd like to hear about your story. Please feel free to contact us anytime.

I lived alone when I was a student, and I felt depressed and thought about suicide.
That's because I don't think about bad things when I'm alone.
It was loneliness, loneliness...
There was also the fact that I didn't have many friends, but that wasn't all.
It probably meant that they weren't blessed with true sympathizers or understanding people.
I think that was the biggest cause that drove me to suicide.
I also sought answers in art, philosophy, and psychology, but they didn't give me the moisture I was looking for.
At one point, I thought that if I were to die anyway, it wouldn't be too late to die after learning the truth about this world.
At that time, I decided to seriously study Buddhism because I wanted answers that I could be satisfied with, what was the truth in this world and what was the real truth.
There has been a dramatic change.
Until then, I had always intended to be studying Buddhism, but that was different.
I felt like I was learning Japanese, English, mathematics, society..., Buddhism as part of my studies.
You thought studying was one of the disciplines.
After I prepared to die, my attitude to learn and my way of seeking it completely changed.
It felt like the teachings of Buddhism and Zen were slowly seeping in, just as a dry, dry cloth absorbs water instantaneously. It was a precious experience. Why is it precious

Studying the teachings of the Buddha means
It means you can get the three greatest treasures in the world at the same time.
The greatest treasure is a good mentor, a person with saving teachings, and a good understanding person.
That is what a Buddhist monk is.
A treasure called a teacher of life, a leader, a mentor of the heart,
It is a medicine that saves us from worries and suffering, and a treasure called teaching
It means having a treasure (Sangha) called a lot of friends
The people who gather at the temple are all looking for peace of mind and hope for life.
I also have friends who seek truth and friends who seek enlightenment.
If there's anything you don't understand, I'd like to help you as one of your friends.

Dear Honey Joe

Why is there no point in living?

Your cousin's death this time probably wants you to live that life to the fullest
Isn't that the message?
There are many times when people die unexpectedly.

Please take that message carefully, and be sure to cherish this life you have received
I would like to do it.

First, that problem.
Be sure to think carefully,
As we live our daily lives again
I'm sure you'll find the meaning of life. Gassho