I have trouble talking to my father who is highly idealistic and strong

Shirako-sama

Dad probably wants to do Shirako-sama the way he wants. I'm sure it's a family, so they take it in the same way as themselves, and they use such words so much that they hope for growth.

Changing people is difficult. You may be about to lose to the momentum of your father's words, but please become a little adult and take a calm look at your father. Please take a look at it, “You're hoping for growth so much that they think of me as the same person as themselves.”
You don't need to add any thought to that. You can just look at his existence without adding things like he's a disgusting father, or that he doesn't understand me even though he's a father, or that I want him to change.

As a technique, don't make negative statements in front of your father. When I want to talk about something negative, I ask others to listen to it. This will also lead to reducing collisions as much as possible.

There are times when families have a strong desire to “want this to happen” to their partner, and it becomes coercive.
I can only live my whole life by myself. We can only live with this body. Please let Shirako notice that she cannot live other people's lives and be able to spend peaceful days.

Nice to meet you, Shirako.

Suddenly, imagine yourself talking to your father.

Recently, when you're talking with your dad, don't you think the endings have gone wrong?

Feelings such as “loud” or “bothersome” may appear at the end of words without knowing it, even though you don't notice it yourself.

There are things you don't understand on your own, but there are times when you look at it from someone else's point of view.
Even when I'm talking to my friends, “was there anything you were happy about?” It's the same as noticing things like, “You're in a bad mood today, aren't you?”

If you say something to your father and you have feelings of “being complained about again” or “said back again,” this is probably the case.
Before you think, “I didn't say it that way,” take a break from yourself and take a look at yourself from the outfield.
Perhaps the endings are getting tough before you even notice it yourself.

Living until the age of 120 may certainly be an annoyance (^^;, but he is a kind father who wants to take care of you even after living that far.

It's not that I want to impose it; maybe I just want to make a concession because I want to brag more about my proud daughter to others.

When you get stuck at work, the fact that you're blurry is taking hold of your tail means you're blurry in front of your dad, right?
It's rare for a daughter to be blurry about her father.
Isn't that a wonderful father-daughter relationship?

When Dad said something, he said, “I'm saying it again. Yes yes.” Why don't you try taking it with such a relaxed feeling?

If it's not an important story, it might be easier for you, and maybe your father, to muddy the tea rather than getting angry or bothered.

I tried insisting that I didn't say the foul language I said myself, and I tried saying that I would live to 120.

Maybe Dad isn't a stubborn person who doesn't get through with jokes; he's just a cute, playful person who isn't good at telling jokes and is just bad at using kind words.

Shirako-san

I also hated my father, but now we have a good relationship to some extent.
My observations and practices at that time are as follows. Just for your reference.

Let's say there's someone you don't like.
Once you think you don't like it, the assumption is that you “don't like it”
I'm going to stick to the fact that I “don't like it.”
Then, do an analysis of what you “don't like”
Find someone who can agree with that analysis
I'm relieved when that someone is found
I feel like I've found my place.
Unfortunately, things haven't changed at all.
As there is coordination, the premise of “dislike” has become even stronger
The situation is only getting serious. That doesn't change anything.

That's not the case.
What you need to do is change yourself.
1. How to have a heart
2. Words and Actions
these two.
There is no problem until the point of analysis. The problem is how to use the analysis content.
The reason I “don't like it” is actually simple.
“Because I'm different from myself”
Way of thinking, guidelines, actions, attitudes, habits, stances, evaluations, popularity, bases...
I hate it because I'm different from myself. It's frustrating.
However, being frustrated because it's different
It's nothing but the imposition of “me.”
“Dislike” is not a premise, but “difference” is a premise.
By focusing on “difference,” which is a higher concept of “dislike,” emotions due to differences also change.
In other words, make the way you hold your mind more relaxed.
This reduces the bias of “dislike.”

Next, words and actions.
Words and actions based on the premise of “dislike” are disastrous.
This is because they tend to be words and actions that promote “dislike.”
Wipe off the bias with 1 and try moving it to words and actions while remaining flat.
It was as if we met for the first time.
There may be times when you are convinced that “I don't like it after all”
Actually, it can also be converted into being convinced of the “difference.”
If you do that, you can also see that there is no need to equate “differences” with “dislike.”
Then, it's strange.
“Why didn't you like that?” It becomes.
And before you know it, you can enjoy the difference.
You can't change people. The only thing I can change is myself.
As a result, I'm lucky if people change.
The whole world cannot be changed. The only thing you can change is your own world.
I would be lucky if the whole world changed even a little bit as a result.

To deceive Shinto and Buddha is to become attached to oneself, break the commandments, and do bad things
I don't think it will ever be deceiving. I hope we have a wonderful relationship!

('-ω-`) Even if you say you're a monk, it doesn't mean you should roll up your head and put on a monk's clothes.
While taking good psychological distance from the father, they secure a safe zone without leaving.
A family is a family, but each one is unique in terms of life form.
Ultimately, everyone has no choice but to live their own lives.
However, for parents, my child is cute; my child, my child.
My own, my, my precious child ♡
Obsession with children becomes excessive depending on time, place, and circumstances, probably because they are bound by the fact that “parents have responsibilities,” or because our children are cute.
A reasonable sense of distance. A sense of distance you don't have to worry about
It makes sure you don't get “me” by the family's private rules and rule that are overly intrusive and possessive.
According to my rough solo rough investigation data, 24.3% (← no credibility) fathers in Japan who have daughters (as appropriate) are extremely dictatorial and dominant over their daughters, and they don't approve marriage unless they are men they like (← almost none).
In the case of sons, on the other hand, it is said that 64.7% (← this is also appropriate, unreliable) mothers are very dominant over their own sons, and they are unable to separate their children even after marriage. (Saitama Countryside Legend)
They are good at asserting their own freedom and acknowledging each other's dignity.
Don't run away from dialogue alone.
Small words are fine.
I think it would be nice to be able to express appreciation, acceptance, affirmation, and respect in conversation and dialogue.
(Thank you, I see, certainly, that's right, I think so, as expected... in order for these words to come up quickly, I have to make room for myself. (Please live to about 1800 years old yourself and grow up to become the guru of that religion.)