I don't want to be happy, I want to die

Halu

Living while causing trouble to people, being self-centered, and being a weak person. I think my real start as a person is when I became aware of that.

When you are truly aware that you are causing trouble to others, you realize that you are being forgiven. And you'll learn how to be considerate of people. When you are truly aware that you are self-centered, you will be able to forgive others. And they learn humility. When you are truly aware of your weaknesses, you will be able to help each other with others.

Happiness as a human being means wishing for the happiness of others. It's about feeling joy there. When I lived my life thinking only about myself, it might seem like I was living a positive life towards happiness, but that was simply because I was immature. There is no way to be happy by abandoning others.

If you are truly aware of your own weakness, then you should be able to see the suffering of others.
Self-loathing and self-pity are different.

If you are aware of the immaturity of your actions up until now, and if you really think it is punishment, don't run away, but be aware that other people are also suffering. Then start walking to do what you can. Senryu

Good evening, nice to meet you. I've also read the questions and answers up until now. I recommend that you first reread it yourself, starting with that question, probably 7 months ago.
I mean, humans forget things, no matter how seriously they thought before. Thankfully, it's a troublesome habit. Therefore, when I reread what is left in the letters from time to time, I remember what I had forgotten. It's not like it's gone, I just forgot about it.
Now, there is a saying “one thing is everything” in the world, but I think this is wrong. I think it's a “once-in-a-lifetime meeting” where everything is one thing, nothing comes before or after, and only happens once.
Summarizing your question, “I've caused trouble to people. That's why I want to die”. It's probably true that it caused trouble. However, that led to the conclusion that “I want to die.” Moreover, it's not actually dead. Don't you feel like there's something wrong with this?
I'm afraid of “if you cause trouble to people...”, but how arrogant is the claim to “live without bothering people”? Who else is a “human”? Other than your family and boyfriend? Is it OK to bother my family or my boyfriend?
... Yes, if you think so, I don't understand that it will lead to “wanting to die.” But let's doubt it here. “Isn't there something wrong with the starting point?” and.
People can't live without bothering others. You're my boyfriend, and my family is you. The fact that there is a relationship is, in other words, it is safe to say that it is a relationship that causes trouble and can be caused.
What do you think, who hasn't caused as much trouble as a fraction until now? There's probably no one who hasn't been bothered by any kind of trouble. I just forgot about that.
So let's revise our starting point a bit. “Try not to cause trouble as much as possible.” Rather than cherish simple words, let's rely on words that are in line with reality.
Also, if you know you've caused trouble, follow up by saying sorry. Follow up saying thank you and don't forget. We can't live without it.

I read it. I read that they hurt people and are very self-loathing.
When I think about it, I think there are times when I feel that it's really okay for me to live, or that it's not even worth living. I understand your feelings.

I see, there's nothing wrong with thinking that. However, it is also certain that we live while committing such foolish acts and crimes.
If so, I think it's very important to learn how to reflect on your sinful self, repent, and try not to do foolish acts even the slightest bit.
No one can understand the pain of a person's heart unless they have experienced it. If you don't take that as a matter of your own, you won't really grow.
If you look around the world, foolish acts and sinful things due to selfishness are really rampant.
I think it's important to learn and do activities with your own body in mind so that such foolish acts disappear even a little bit.

We are supported by many people in our lives. I think it is our mission to create a society and world where everyone can live even a little while rewarding that kindness.

I sincerely pray that you will respect each other with many people in your future lives, help each other, and spend every day worth living.

This is an important life, so don't give up.

I'm rooting for you! Don't give up.

Thank you for your consultation, Mr. HALU.

If you made a firm and sincere apology even if it bothered you, what you learned there
You can skip it next.
What makes you want
“When I lived my life thinking only about myself, I lived a positive life towards happiness.”
I wonder if this is true? I think so.
I acknowledge that you have done your best and are living very hard (^O^) ／
But I wonder if I was able to move towards happiness by only thinking about myself? I have a question.
This is due to being alone or being ecstatic alone
Suffering begins when it's over, so it's hard to say that we are moving towards happiness (^^

So, “is the only way to be happy is to cut things off from others?” with
It's not about thinking
I think it's good to think about “thinking about the happiness of others makes me happy.”

Please think back carefully. In my life until now
Together with someone, we've achieved something! or
Whether it's a club, study, or a game, anything is fine, so we cooperated and achieved
Isn't there such a thing?
It means let's feel a sense of fulfillment and happiness there.

Humans cannot live alone.
When you're just born, you can't drink milk unless you get help from your mother,
I live with the help of many people until I grow up

Mothers who give milk watch their babies drink their own milk to the fullest
They say they feel happy.
It's a moment when mother and baby cooperate and they both feel happy
Therefore, originally, it is impossible to be happy alone.
Humans are designed to feel true happiness by cooperating with others.

I'm not a religious person, but according to Adler psychology, which is popular recently
“I love myself. You can trust others. And I've been able to contribute something”
They say that people are happy when they feel it.
Go ahead, get a lot of people around you involved and be happy!!

The trick is not to show bad things, but to show what's good for yourself and good for others!! is
See what's good about yourself (acknowledge and accept your flaws as well.)
Look for the strengths of others. And they respond with a smile.
I wonder if that's where it is!
There are no perfect people. Everyone has failures. Let's keep smiling
\ (^o^) ／