Where is each other's greatest happiness

I have a girlfriend who is 2 months younger than I've been dating.

She says that she did something terrible to her the other day due to her lack of confidence, and she didn't know if she liked it.

My feelings were too great, and even if I reflected on my lack of confidence and said that I wouldn't make her feel scared anymore, of course, there was no way that she would trust her, and I didn't know anything right now, so I was told to keep my distance.

She says that it's bad for the partner to go out with someone even though they don't like them, but I still have feelings left, so I have regrets.

However, we didn't like each other anymore, nor did we have someone else to like.

It's so much fun to be together, and I'm sure even if we break up, we'll be able to continue our relationship as less than lovers due to mutual fun.

As a personal opinion, I really want her to love me again.

I would like you to tell me how to deal with her and walk a happy path for each other.

3 Zen Responses

A path of mutual happiness ~ acknowledging that the forms of happiness are different

I understand very well what Isumi said. It also conveys your feelings.

After that, I think you'll be able to properly face your own words yourself. Don't just think about your own thoughts; think about her feelings. It's not about being able to agree or agree with it; it's about how she feels about it.

That is

It means facing her and thinking, “Can we both walk a happy path?”

It's about accepting her words and feelings, even if it's painful.

“I don't know if I like it anymore”
“Going out with someone even though you don't like them is bad for them”

I think it's already showing up quite well in that.

Let's face it from a place where we acknowledge that what Isumi envisions “this should be like” and “this one is happier” and what she envisions are different.

You can't have a relationship alone. It's something two people do. That's why it's difficult. And I'm thankful to be tied together.

I wish her a happy way of life.

When I read the question, the first thing I felt was that the “what does she think” part wasn't written.

Certainly, Isumi is sorry for the actions she took, and she is also remorseful.
Feelings such as loneliness and wanting to be good friends like before were also conveyed.

Conversely, what does she think right now?

They did terrible things, put a strain on their feelings, didn't know if they liked it, and they kept their distance.
It says, but...

It's not clear exactly what they did.
Does that mean the original cause wasn't clear within you?

As a result of being kept at a distance from her, I think she meant that you did a “terrible” act yourself.

Maybe what you did wasn't particularly wrong.
It's up to her to accept your actions and how she feels.

It's impossible to change her on your own.
If she changes her mind, it's just her own decision.

I want to be together because it's fun, I want them to regain the feeling they like...
I painfully understand the feeling of wanting to focus on myself.

But, as I mentioned before, it's up to her to make the decision.

Right now, instead of focusing on yourself, please focus on her.
If she chooses the path to happiness, I'll accept whatever.

I think that feeling like that is the path to happiness.

For now, with minimal misfortune

In Buddhism, first of all, it is important not to do what the other person doesn't like.
Why don't you think about minimum unhappiness before maximum happiness?
It's safer not to do what the other person says they don't like, no matter what kind of logic you put together.

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