I'm wondering if I should change the temple...

My husband, who is my eldest son, officially became a tomb keeper last year.

Even though I asked for the Tanaka Sutra during the tomb sutra last year, they didn't contact me, and they didn't come.
This year, too, I asked for the Tanagari during the Bonzen Hakkyo, and when I contacted them at night, there was only a business card in the mailbox without any contact, and they said, “I went to the Tanagyo but they weren't there.”
Even if they came without contact and were told that they were absent, they worked together and didn't always stay at home, so I was asked to specify a date and time, and I hung up the phone that day.

The Tanakyo was promised to be in the morning, so my mother-in-law was at my house before 9 o'clock. After 10 o'clock, I called the temple to confirm.
“The chief priest has gone to other places, so I can't do it in the morning; I'll go in the afternoon.”
I got a phone call after 11:30 and said, “Since there is Sega demon in the afternoon, Tanakatsu is impossible. “When I come to the temple, can I give them the Tanagari sutras together?”

Last year, even if I asked for it, I ignored it,
This year, they came without contact, and after that, they couldn't come on the promised date and time, so they said things from above.

What was the promise made for? My husband, and mother-in-law all broke up.

Actually, the story is that it took 2 years until they were able to open a Buddhist altar.

Originally, my husband's grandmother was a parishioner, and my mother-in-law managed the ranks of my father-in-law and great-grandmother. (My grandfather's grandmother wrapped his remains in the mass graveyard without permission, so there is no license plate at this time)

At that time, my mother-in-law remarried, and my husband, who is the eldest son, was still a minor. It was impossible to keep graves, and they took the form of depositing cards at temples until they were old enough.

My grandmother passed away 5 years ago. At that time, my uncle was a different denomination and had no funeral or ossuary for 2 years. My uncle contacted me asking me to do something about my grandmother's license plate and remains over there, and my husband also decided to guard the tomb after getting married into adulthood as a result of this. At the temple that becomes the family temple, I asked for consultations with my grandmother's kaimyo and grandfather to pick up the plates.

At first, temples are also quick to respond,
I picked up the remains of the plates from my uncle → I was able to go to the temple on the same day, and I was able to receive the 4 people's plates early...

After that, it was a mess.

I went to the temple at the end of fall.
Since it's going to get cold, the ossuary will be in early spring, and the Buddhist altar will open at that time.

There was no contact even though it was spring, so I contacted them from here. On the day of the ossuary, there was another person's ossuary on that day, so why? that's a bad treatment.

I asked that the Buddhist altar be opened with the Buddhist altars etc. ready, but there was no notification of the opening of the Buddhist altar after the ossuary. Even if I talk directly at the memorial service in front of the grave, “I'll contact you again” is repeated, and after talking about my house moving, I finally get a reply...

Is it better to switch to another temple of the same Nichiren sect if it's so appropriate? It makes me think...

5 Zen Responses

Please stay away from such a temple

In a nutshell, please stay away from such a temple. That's the solution. Please read the rest if you like.

I became friends with a lady (English teacher who has retired) on the internet because of my research on the religion of Japanese Canadians (specifically, Nishi Honganji Temple and Christianity). After worrying about the same thing, that person changed their affiliation to a temple with the same purpose. It seems to the people at the original temple that if they wanted to do that, they just went ahead and it was OK. People who say “there are any number of parishioners” are like this, so there's no getting lost.

As a procedure,
1. Search for a reputable temple first so you don't fail this time around.
2. Have the current temple convince them that they want to stop. When it comes to that, I'll talk about the circumstances up until now and stop at any cost. But that shouldn't be necessary.
3. After being properly separated from the current temple, ask for a visit to a temple you think is good.
I think that's it. It's a matter of course that goes anywhere in the world, but just in case.

This is also a snake's foot, so please read it if you like. It seems that a temple of the Shinshu Otani school in Kyoto has consulted with a consultancy company about the future of the temple in the future. That company had a precedent. According to that, the number of parishioners will decrease by 6 every year from now on at Temple A (the temple that was a precedent case). It seems that the number of houses is expected to decrease by 60 in 10 years. Even though we know that such an era will come, I don't care about temples that neglect parishioners.

Isn't the date and time of the Tanaka Sutra decided every year?

Isn't the date and time of the Tanaka Sutra decided every year? Isn't it decided what day and month to go around your home district?
If so, there is a possibility that you will not be contacted by the temple side.
Isn't there a possibility that you were away without knowing that day even though you actually came to Tanakyo last year?
If you look at it from the temple side, why are you away on the day of the Tanaka Sutra, which is fixed every year? Maybe it's like that. If you ask them to come and stay away, the temple side might be angry too.

So, if you go around the Tanaka Sutra in order, you'll be caught by a grandmother who has been talking for a long time, so there is also an aspect where the time gap is unavoidable.
Temples don't treat you as “customers” like shops.
I get angry when I expect that kind of treatment.
Instead of contacting the temple only when you want them to pray, it is probably necessary to check the temple's annual event schedule by attending the temple's annual events and general meetings.
It's impossible to ask the chief priest to come on a day that has already been scheduled.
It may be a trouble that could have been avoided if you were involved in a temple on a regular basis with the consciousness of being one of the members who run a religious corporation, rather than a customer and a shop.
So, why don't you talk to the head of the Danke family about complaints?
A temple is not a shop; it is a religious corporation run by everyone, including you.
If you don't understand that, you'll get angry again even if you go to another temple.

Temples are also in the service industry.

Yukinko-sama.

The temple is probably busy too, but they aren't very responsive...

I think temples are also a service business in a broad sense (I wonder if they'll be offended).
I wonder how much fun the people who visit the temple will have.
I wonder how many people who visited the temple with worries can return home with a smile
I'm always thinking about it.

Now that the term “leave Buddhism” has come up,
The fact that a monk who is supposed to pass on Buddhism takes such an attitude
I think it's suicide.

It's better to buy a tomb at a reliable temple and move on.
That way, it will also benefit that temple.
“Why are our parishioners leaving?”
It might be an opportunity to think about it.

Don't be spoiled by the parishioners system and always look ahead and make progress.
It's commonplace in general companies, but temples also need that kind of awareness.

I even think it's okay to change denominations if you get approval from your relatives.
Of course, I think there are many good temples in the Nichiren sect.

If you don't seem to be able to take over the Buddha's power,

No matter what the circumstances were,
That temple and monk can only be said to have neglected their duties.

Please ask another proper temple to take care of you.

Communication misunderstanding to see if there is any malice

It's not about which one is bad.
However, please let me understand just a little bit about the terrible act of the Obon monk's Tanakira.
The chief priest has to go around the parishioners house by house during the short Obon period, so even if the day to visit is decided, it is impossible to determine the time.
Also, I would like you to refrain from making “verbal promises when the grave passes on the same day.”
That's because plans have already been made.
What's more, a monk in a legal uniform during legal affairs in the analog industry.
Very few people bring along a schedule book every time to write their schedule. (The temple one is huge)
As an implicit understanding, it is basic for parishioners to make a reservation to visit the mountain (by phone) a few months in advance.
Apart from that, I don't think I was looking at it from above or anything.
Rather, as the times became more convenient, the method of conveying an email attitude of “I should only say what I say unilaterally” may have been disrespectful to the temple during legal affairs. While you were on the go to work, you suddenly thought, “Can I have you come to my house later?” Even if you say that, even though you have a job later, you may be in trouble even if you are suddenly told.
Maybe they are simply questioning their attitude towards conversation and dialogue.
I used to do 60 trips a day every year in Aichi and Akita.
To be honest, I can't afford to say “I'll ask now” every time before I go. “It came without permission.” This is sad.
At the time of the Tanagase, “What time would you like them to come, not yet?” To be honest, a house like that was thought to be a “cramped home” even at other temples.
The temple may not have an opportunity to tell you about the situation either, but this happens every year.
Do other parishioners think the same as you?
Maybe it's just that “there was no offense between us, there was a lack of information transmission, or a misunderstanding.”
Even if the other person isn't a temple, it's important to have a feeling of understanding, understanding, and listening to the other person's true intentions.
If you insist too much on your own point of view and your own convenience, it won't be Buddhism or religion.
Obon = ulanbana means “trying to turn things upside down,” and since this is the origin of Obon, I would like you to take advantage of it.
It is also important not to take the other person's good intentions with malice, and if communication is incomplete, don't say bad things about the other person and check their true intentions.

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