How to do memorial services for ancestors

Hello.
I have a question about how to do memorial services for my ancestors.

My paternal ancestors made money in dirty ways that people around them were envied
Maternal ancestors were also pretty sloppy of the opposite sex (not at the level of being slightly sloppy, but at a level where they buy resentment)

I think my ancestors had a pretty deep career.

Maybe because of that, it's called causal retaliation, and right now, both my paternal grandparents and my maternal grandparents are experiencing pretty bad experiences.
An impossible misfortune has spread to the generation of paternal and maternal grandparents, their children's generation, and now our grandchildren's generation

Looking back, I haven't been visiting graves since I was a kid, and I began to wonder not only about causal retaliation, but also because I haven't been able to do memorial services for my ancestors.

Even when I asked my relatives, they said they only knew that there was a graveyard quite far away, and they didn't know the exact location of the graveyard

There are no Buddhist altars at my parents' house or in any of my relatives' houses, and since I live alone and am single, I don't have a Buddhist altar at home.

It means that since I was little, I haven't held memorial services for my ancestors.

In such a case, what is an ancestral memorial service that I can do?
I wonder if there are any apologies to people whose ancestors were hated, and to people whose names I didn't know who died while feeling sad and envious...
I'm very worried.

“Paternal Side”
paternal grandparents
They are all at different times, but they hit their heads and are hospitalized, major surgery for intracerebral hemorrhage
When I was discharged from the hospital, this time I fell down the stairs and got a broken bone
On the day I was discharged from the hospital, I fell and broke my lower back and was hospitalized
My grandparents are seriously injured over and over
my uncle and father became mentally ill even though that wasn't the cause
My mother had a serious skin disease

“Mother's Side”
maternal grandparents
A person whose grandfather lays out his hand at his grandmother's younger sister and sister, and is pretty sloppy with women
Sudamon's youngest grandparents get divorced

My mother's younger sister (aunt) got divorced at the end of a double affair

My little sister was deceived by a strange man and attempted suicide, on the verge of suicide
My dog has an illness of unknown cause

These are all recent events.
I wonder how strange anything is...
I'm investigating whether an ancestral memorial service should be held, and if so, what method should be used, but I don't know.

It's been too long
Somebody please help me.
I would be happy if you could lend me your wisdom.
Thank you for your kind attention.

4 Zen Responses

It's more a question of how to live than an ancestral memorial service

There seems to be quite a bit of trouble, but unfortunately I don't think the situation will improve due to the ancestral memorial service. The way each person lives is probably reflected in the results. If you don't change your way of life, nothing will change, and that is the only solution. Even if you ask a monk who seems to have miraculously given you a purification sutra, it's nothing but a sense of relief.

There are good books on how to do memorial services for ancestors, so I'll introduce them. “Buddhism's Correct Ancestor Memorial Service - Why Can Merit Be Converted?” (Sanga Shinsho) This is Shinsho, 2008/10, Fujimoto Akira (author).

That you live well

It seems like a lot of difficult things have happened, but life is big or small, but everyone lives with some kind of problem.

I think it is different to link all such events to ancestral memorial services (there is probably no causal relationship). In Buddhism, there is something called immorality. It's about living a solid life without getting bogged down in relationships between men and women. This is all you need to do if you keep living well.

It seems that they are also concerned about memorial services for ancestors. It would be nice if I knew the location of the tomb, but is it difficult to find it anymore? If you don't know anything about temples, all you can do is put your hands together. And please live your life well. If that were the case, it would be the best memorial service.

The memorial service for ancestors is respect and appreciation. Causal retaliation is self-earned.

My name is Kameyama Junshi. I'll give you my own answers.

First of all, the feeling of caring for your ancestors is very good. However, in the case of the questioner, Nasu-san, how would you feel about holding a memorial service for your ancestors? Judging from the content of the question, we haven't done a memorial service for our ancestors until now, so now disaster is happening to us, so the desire to do an ancestral memorial service as soon as possible isn't it a self-oriented memorial service? I think the original memorial service for ancestors must be based on respect and gratitude for who I am now, precisely because my ancestors overcame numerous hardships.

Next, let's talk about causal retaliation, but in the case of Buddhism, there is no idea that the cause and effect of ancestors extends to descendants. Buddhism deserved it. You will be rewarded for your actions. Even with proper memorial services for ancestors, disasters occur due to causes and relationships. If there are people who were killed in the Great East Japan Earthquake, and children who took their own lives due to bullying, that is not Buddhism.

Please refer to the above.

supplemented
My sect, the Jodo Shinshu sect, basically doesn't say an ancestral memorial service, but I answered from the standpoint of the questioner this time.

Irreligion is human expediency

When I was a student, there was a time when I didn't believe in Buddhism or anything.
This is what is called irreligion.
Life without religion was the worst when I think about it now.
Not being religious is a way of looking at things centered on one's own convenience.
Even if my family is a Buddhist, I don't know who he is. The essence of irreligion is whether the person is religious or not.
Even if you are a Buddhist at home, I have to say that if you don't have a sense of religion, it's still a way of life centered around being an unreligious person = ego.
I have no sense of envy for my ancestors = what made me myself.
That's why I don't feel grateful or rewarded.
The only thing I cared about was people who were good to me.
If there is anything that comes to mind, memorial services for ancestors are also important, but there is no point in temporarily withering memorial services. Please have a proper sense of religion.
It's about leaving the feeling that I am and that I am me.
It is an important heart for kindness to be born in the family and for Japan to be kind.
I'm sorry.

← all dialogues ← previous next →