It's a temple bride

First, it's not an extreme idea of whether to suddenly make a 100% perfect temple bride or not do it at all,
Why don't you think that you should make an effort to the extent possible, and if you make an effort, you can level up to a reasonable level in a few years?
So, please make my husband understand the situation where I also make an effort but suddenly everything is impossible, and then ask my husband to protect me from attacks by my parents-in-law.
It's important to have your husband on your side, and I think I can endure it as long as I have my husband's support.

She's the temple's wife, so I have to do ◯◯. There's no such thing.
It must be. Please don't be bound by it. If my husband takes care of me. The bride at the temple should go ahead and support the family as the husband's wife and the mother of the child.

My mother-in-law thinks that what she did was right, and that everything else was wrong, but let's leave that alone as something that probably won't heal.

That's because I'm busy, so I'm just getting frustrated and just messing around with it.

If your husband and wife are going to get along well in the future, please slowly get used to the environment, get lots of support from your husband, and spend a good time together until the generation changes. Make sure your husband is always on your wife's side.

You just have a strong sense of justice and my rules.
Nobody needs a sense of justice, they don't want it, even dogs are mewak.
Think, “Oh, I was slashing people with the sword of justice.”
I don't understand the feeling, but justice is a type of dangerous thought.
Everyone who brings their own sense of justice to Buddhism is angry that it is supposed to be Buddhism. This is because I brought my own justice into Buddhism and mixed it.
There is a saying, reality is right in front of me.
How to deal with that is Buddhism.
If it wasn't in my ideal Buddhist world, would that be the end for you and your Buddhism?
Even the demons on Onigashima wanted to live in peace, but Terayome slashed themselves with her own sense of justice, so why would that Momoko (Momotaro) spit on the culture we've become accustomed to without permission? They want help over here too, but I think they're being upset... because they don't like the way the words are worded.
Both your father-in-law and mother-in-law, who don't like you, are people who have been in the temple industry for decades.
That's because there are cardinal rules there. Even companies can't help but respect what their presidents and bosses say to a certain extent.
I answered the other questions first, but it seems that the cause of your anger is probably imposing your own rules, bringing in too many rules, being too protagonist, and demanding too much humanity from your opponent. (Because I'm bumping on the next question without thanking you ('◇'))
Oh, this is the reality of the temple industry. I don't know what the other temples are like, but the lottery I've drawn still isn't about judging whether I'm lucky or unhappy, good or bad, but this is true. Oh, I want to change it. but it hasn't changed. But there must be something we can change. I want to change this suffering. Well, in order to do that, Buddhism is about changing the way you look at things, change the way you perceive them, and change the way you perceive them.
Asking for it is the beginning of your Buddhism.
Buddhism is not about others. My affairs, my own affairs, my own affairs.

　I'm almost the same generation as the chief priest and his wife. Apart from that, I don't intend to take the shoulders of my parents-in-law, but as far as I read the question, I got the impression that they didn't understand the temple even though it was rude, and they weren't trying to figure it out.

People have their own lines of thought, have their own tone, and individuality (habit) also appears in actions and attitudes. As far as I can read in your question, it seems to you that your parents-in-law's words, attitudes, and ways of thinking are “Cinzilla Renai.” though. I think this is extremely common when it comes to daughter-in-law issues in the world at large. If other people suddenly live together, it's not strange if they feel uncomfortable with the other person's tone, attitude, and way of thinking and repulsive. From your point of view, it's probably a “problematic chief priest couple,” and from your parents-in-law's point of view, I think it's an “insane bride.”

If the chief priest and his wife are completely separated from their followers and are in a state where they are not treated at all by the surrounding temples, your temple may be on the verge of bankruptcy. But actually, aren't there religious believers who cooperate with the management of the temple's events? Isn't there a group of believers who trust the chief priest when it comes to funerals and memorial services? I don't think the chief priest and his wife are giving thorough guidance and explanations to you who have married at the temple. But on the other hand, aren't you watching your parents-in-law and the temple with colored glasses saying “I'm right, my parents-in-law are wrong”? It feels like that to me. Please try to sincerely learn and understand your marriage partner a little more.

Incidentally, I am a so-called “adopted son-in-law” and became the chief priest. I was born and raised in a different temple, and became the chief priest of a temple of the same sect in another prefecture due to my relationship. Since they are temples of the same denomination, the sutras they are read are the same, and the way funeral services are performed is not that much different. However, if the people living in the temple are different and the believers are different, the way the temple is managed and handled will naturally also be different. Based on my experience, in order to operate a temple “in my own way,” I think it is necessary to humbly look at the site and sincerely learn from the site.
I'm married to a temple in an unfamiliar place, and my lifestyle and habits are different, so I think I'm often confused and worried. I think this is a very difficult time, both mentally and physically, for raising children and giving birth. First, please focus on childbirth and childcare and live a healthy life for both mother and child. There comes a time when the deputy chief priest becomes the chief priest and your child becomes the successor. I pray that you will be able to run a good temple with your partner and children.