People around me and I hate me. From an early age.

　If you say “it's already blown out,” let's get on with our lives.
So, “will I live as it is,” or “will I change myself and improve my life?” It's important...
In conclusion, I'm going to live like this. This is because I can only be myself as I am, and I can only live my life as I am.
“I don't like it as it is, there's no way it's okay as it is!” You might say that.
However, the Buddha of the Jodo Shinshu sect doesn't say “change to you and become a better person.” But he didn't say, “You can just leave it as you are.” This is because there is no way that all humans are good the way they are, and they have seen through what everyone insists, “I don't like it the way it is.”
So, what the Buddha says is not “you can leave it as you are,” but “I will leave you as you are.”
That scooping means “becoming the Buddha of Satoshi, the Buddha of Eternity after your life is over.”
Are you thankful... the real intention is that I don't feel grateful.
However, the Buddha's love for me is to become a Buddha after life is over... this reveals the essence of a human being “like you, and so am I, who have no choice but to suffer and suffer until death.”
Nothing... nothing will change.
Do you think everyone around you is happy? Isn't that your idea? The person who says I'm happy... means “I'm happy now,” and that means I don't know the future. This applies to all people in the world... everything changes... it means we can't stay the way it is.
It is not “you are an exception to the world,” but it is a fact that “there are people who assume you are an exception from the world's point of view.”
I want to be like this, I want this, I don't like him... I complain.
If I myself keep saying that I wanted to be 160 centimeters tall, that is a complaint, and complaints are not born where I give up saying, “Well, that's impossible now...”
I want to be like this... but instead of aiming for an unattainable self, I keep a close eye on who I am now and accept myself... there is no other way to be free from suffering.
This is the “way of life” that people should seek according to Buddhism...

You won't be able to break out of the chain of negative emotions if you harass yourself in this way. The obsession must be broken.
I said that all human beings are equal, but in reality, the world is not equal at all. If there are long-lived people, there are short-lived people, there are people who can exercise and there are people who can't, and there are rich people and there are poor people.

Even so, if Buddha Shakyamuni is equal, what kind of life can they see through? It's

Born by Ending, Leaving by Ending

That's just one point.

The rest is up to Tenden Barabara Go-Go! Even if you say that you don't like this, you have to accept 100% of the relationship you have received. It's different from Shaba's inheritance. Public inheritance does not mean that you only receive property and don't need debts. Even so, you can give up saying you don't need them all.
But we cannot give up on this life. You have to get them all. The freedom we have been given is “what kind of attitude I take on relationships I have received.”

You are free to say whatever you don't like and sink down, or go back and forth. I think “from now on” will change depending on that attitude.

The salvation of Buddhism is not being saved because I like something I don't like. Nor can something that is worthless become valuable and be saved. What you haven't dealt with isn't taken over by being blessed with friends.

You can be saved as it is, without being enough, without reaching it. It makes me realize that I thought it wasn't enough. The hesitation that there must be enough is made known. The feeling that I don't like being lacking doesn't change at all, and I wonder if it's okay to stay lacking, this is me! It's a relief to be able to walk around the corner. It's an empty life where you can take on even the things you don't like, even if the things you don't like go away.

The call to notice this is the nenbutsu of “Namu Amida Buddha” in my denomination.
If so, it's not like Amida will show up right in front of you and do that. The way I notice my appearance is called “Namu Amida Buddha.” Amida is a Buddha who showed me the truth about me and was sworn to save me as it was. When that story tells me how I live by blaming my suffering on those around me, the wish in the depths of my life is awakened by my vow to save me as it is.

I really want to live to the fullest! I want to be satisfied with my life! and.

You're working hard to do your job, but it looks like you're not getting any results.
Leave it at that,
Find something fun in your everyday life.
It may come as a surprise, but learning Buddhism and practicing Buddhism is a lot of fun.
Also, there are training exercises you can practice anytime, anywhere at your own pace, so you won't get bored even if you go out empty-handed.
It calms my mind, and it gives me ideas to be freed from worries and suffering.
By all means, try learning Buddhism as a form of entertainment without worry.