I want to die

　“Right now, I just want to die,” he said, “I want you to stay alive.”
... “Please take care of yourself, who just wants to die right now.”
I want you to praise yourself for yourself, who is alive right now. If praising is difficult, accept it... accept and accept yourself for who you are.
If you can't do that, you will live difficult days with the feeling of “I want to die” all the time from now on.
But if you say the opposite, “if I could do that, I might not be great, I might not be something I can brag about to people, but I can properly 'live from tomorrow'”
You have a family that warmly accepts “you that you yourself don't accept.” There's nothing I'm so thankful for, really. Another Hasunoha counselor scolds me... saying, “They want to die even though they have such a good family together... because I won't forgive them”...
You must be feeling sick... again, your heart is probably tired.
There aren't many things that “must be like this once humans are born”... but I'll just say one thing. ... “Once humans are born, they must live until they die.”
It's painful... but it is “Buddha” who can see through your suffering.
Therefore, the Buddha bears your suffering and continues to live with you for a long time.
If you can accept this Buddhist fact, that's fine. You can live from now on.
If you say, “What a Buddha like that...”, you are simply living with your own suffering on your own shoulders.
And actually, no matter which way you go through your life, the Buddha doesn't leave you alone... he continues to snuggle up to you. Because it's Buddha, that's why Buddha exists...

It's been a while.
Didn't you get good results even after trying so hard?
But it's a life I received from my parents, so I want them to cherish it.
It may not be easy to find a job.
Why don't you change your mind and go through a lesson or something?
For example, there are places in Okayama that regularly hold sign language classes.
Also, calligraphy is good. You can focus on your feelings, right? I'm bad at it though.
I think it would be nice to help my parents with farm work.
There are still many things we can do in this world.

Please don't compare yourself to your sister or anyone else.
You're the only flower in the world.

appending
I don't know your denomination, but if you don't mind, we have a nembutsu meeting at our temple on the fourth Saturday of every month from 2:00 to 4:00, so let's sing Nembutsu together at the main hall.
There is no cure for hearing loss by chanting nembutsu, but let's just ask Amida to pass away in the Pure Land of Paradise.

You seem to be having a hard time. I feel like I have no choice but to say, “I just want to die.” But at the end of your question

“What should I do?”

What do you mean by these words? Probably

What should I do to “erase my existence from this world as soon as possible”

That's not it, is it?

“In order not to do that,” “in order not to have such feelings,”... “what should I do?” And in order to get a “place to stay,” “what should I do”

I wonder if they actually have that wish? I appreciate it.

Asking for a “place to stay” is important, and I think it's very precious. If what you're looking for is “peace of mind,” it's personal salvation. No matter what kind of place it is, or where someone is hurting someone, it would be nice if I had a peaceful heart with a face I don't know ♪ is a relief for my heart. Asking for a “place to stay” is a wish that I and you will continue to be saved together.
Actually, if possible, I'd like to meet my family... and my younger sisters at home. We want to acknowledge each other. I want to hold hands. I think I have that kind of wish deep in my heart.

However, it doesn't come as most people think. If you can't do that by any means, one way is to ask for a different location.
Even so, I think the way I am will change drastically between when I am aware of my true wishes and when I am not.

The same goes for “I want to die.” Even though they say “I want to die,” this life wishes “to live,” and they don't stop trying to “live.” The heart is beating, breathing, digestion, and cell division does not rest. I'm hungry, and I also excrete. All of them are wishes to “live.” Even though I am controlled by my feeling of “wanting to die,” my whole life is wrapped in a desire to “live.”
While acknowledging the feeling of “wanting to die,” let's also listen to that true wish for life.

Light can reach even in the pouring rain or in deep darkness. The Buddha that always illuminates with light and arrives as a voice is the nenbutsu of “Namu Amida Buddha.”
Namu Amida Buddha is calling for me to wake up to my wishes. Please praise during difficult times and remember Myu-san's true wishes.

I'm really worried about Myu-sama.

I saw your thanks. It's not very good... I hope you can listen directly to the story if you don't mind. We look forward to seeing you.

kawaguchi.oujyouin@gmail.com

The fact that nothing goes the way you want it is called “unrequited suffering” (guffutoku), and this is suffering caused by seeking something or thing as an entity.

In Buddhism, the fact that everything has no substance means “what defines it is not something on the side of the thing itself that never changes forever,” and “nothing is made up of independence.”

However, that doesn't mean you “don't have” you, your humble life, or happiness or enlightenment at all.

You, your bad life, happiness, and enlightenment are things that are made up of various other causes (causes and conditions), and various relationships, and can be formed.

As long as the existence of oneself is based on others and relationships with others, it cannot be established by ignoring relationships with others.

The presence or absence of existence is not an entity; it is made up of relationships with others, and it is becoming important to know how the middle path is due to that luck.

Also, things due to concepts such as happiness can also be described as anything, depending on causes and relationships based on others in arbitrary places within themselves. In other words, it is determined by one's own mind, depending on others.

Also, if it is something that can be determined by one's own heart, it does not mean that there is no happiness or that one cannot be happy, and it can be said that it is something that has not been discovered yet.

Naoki Higashida, a writer with severe autism, answered in an interview that “no matter what difficulties people face, they can find happiness and live” when asked “what is important for life in order to live forward.”

It's not that we can't be happy, that there is no happiness, but that how we live towards happiness is important.

Buddhism also has many hints for that.

By all means, I want them to learn and practice, find happiness, and live through this life.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

it must be painful.

I haven't really asked you how you feel
I don't think it's easy to understand.

but

“I want to die”
Over and over again in the “darkness” of “no place to stay”
I've fallen before.

Humans will die one day.
Being alive is a miracle.

I've come to think so
but... no matter what
“I want to live”
“I want to live a long time”
I haven't thought about it at all.

I don't feel like I'm in a hurry to die.

Originally, I can stay by my side, so if I had
I'd like to listen to your speech slowly.

Why don't we find a place together?

I think you can probably contact me from here.

Were you able to welcome the morning today too?

But are you still sad?

Please let me know how you feel.

Rather than making any kind of comment

I thought that would be better.

If I'm rude, I'm sorry.

We look forward to hearing from you.

I died while I was alive. While living, I am being reborn, and I live by making the most of myself.
There is such a path.
There used to be times when I wanted to die too.
It would be nice if we could go all the way to the bottom.
If I didn't get to the bottom, my pride would get in the way and I would have died.
When I was about to die, I surrendered completely, surrendered completely.
I even abandoned my thoughts that “I don't like this situation.”
I feel like I didn't throw it away.
When you've given up on everything, you naturally drift away.
Obsessions are what make them throw away too. You can also be free from your obsessions and your own desires.
I think “I want to die, die, and die would be better,” but I'm actually particular about that too.
My own opinions are sometimes imposed on me.
And it's also an escape from things that don't go the way I want them to.
I sometimes feel like my own view of the world is about to break down.
Unbeknownst to us, humans have made a lot of small houses on the sand called My Stories, and we live by relying on them. When it is lost, it is overshadowed by despair, disillusionment, and a sense of loss.
It's very painful, empty, and sad, but it's a prelude. There's a second movement. Let's wait until the second movement.
For great growth, we need energy for great change.
We have a beautiful bug called Stag beetle, but there are also major changes in appearance from larvae to pupae to adults.
When the pupa is still motionless in the soil, I feel like there's nothing that I want to be like or that I want to be like. It's just about leaving it up to the power of life, not going against it, and not losing sight of the direction we should go. Just as we are no longer involved in the storm of myself who wants to die,
“Nothing, nothing.”
I completely threw it away.
If you are prepared to die anyway, throw away the “greatest thought” within yourself, which has not been abandoned the most. Even now, I was vaguely thinking that I wanted to die, and that thought was about to drive you to death.
You should mentally become a monk with your family.
My father, mother, and siblings all have different personalities.
I felt at ease when I made up my mind.
Each one has a different personality. Another life.
Everyone should live their own lives.
If you feel like dying, call me.
08020659278 From the Man Who Recovered from the Bottom of Death