hopelessness. I don't know what to do.

It's not an indirect method such as returning my former husband or sending a letter,
Wouldn't it be best to go directly to your parents' house and meet and talk?
If possible, it would be better to have a third party in between. Are there any relatives or other people who are likely to act as arbitrators?
If there is someone like that, I think it would be a good idea to talk to that person first, sort out the story, and then go meet them.

　Good evening. If Kokoro is in her 40's, does that mean your parents are in their 60's or 70's? I'm going to wear it with my parents.
It's probably a strange feeling for a boy to say “practicing love,” but now that I'm raising children myself, I've started to think “what kind of love between parents and children is.”
When I was in college, there was a time when I felt sorry for my parents and came home late. 9:00, 10:00, 11:00... but when they got home, they both woke up and said, “Did you eat dinner?” That's what I hear. It was a day when we only talked about “I ate it” and “Yes, it was good,” and then walked into my room with Puy.
No matter how late it gets, my husband and wife are all awake. I was never told anything to fiddle with, such as “it's useless because it's late.” And... that was a burden for me.
That kind of life continued until I boarded my own house. This became unbearable, and I decided to keep my parents awake until late.
And now, I'm thinking. “Maybe that's what parents are.” Be selfish, cause trouble, and annoy me It disappointed my expectations. Still, “did you eat rice?” That's what I hear. I'm going to prepare it.

Buddhism often says, “Let go of your obsession.” The love between parents and children is also an obsession. If you apply it, “even a parent and child are probably other people. You can also preach, “Stand alone already.” It says hopelessness, but it's giving up (obviously). If you are convinced that you've “done it all” yourself, then you should give up completely.
But if I could still write a letter. Please send out as many copies as you like. Just like “someday, there may be days when they say 'I'll eat it',” I thought, “Someday, I wonder if I'll write a reply.” The content can be repeated over and over again. That's because even we just repeat “Namu Amida Buddha” over and over again.
I don't know what kind of shape it is, but your parents must have raised you through a lot of thought and hardships. There must have been love. By returning it, I think you and your parents will be equal. And I think that is “completion of child-rearing” for parents.

I don't know what your thoughts were during the 8 years after your divorce. However, if it takes 8 years to get to the state it is now, I think it would be good to be prepared to take 8 years to repair it.

　Please excuse any overlaps with the answers to the previous questions.

I was able to understand the situation quite a bit from the description in the “Thanks from the Questioner” column in the previous question. As far as I can read the explanation from “Kokoro,” does that mean that your former husband is the type of person who is good-looking, well-talkative, and untalented, and has successfully appeased your parents?
Meanwhile, “Kokoro” went through a divorce in a state of mental and physical illness due to DV etc. from her former husband, was unable to explain it well to her parents, and continues to be in a state where she is said bad by her parents.
When you got divorced, your parents blamed you and sided with your ex-husband. I don't think it's simply a matter of my ex-husband being “good talker” or “cunning.” While being rude, “I think Kokoro's words and actions caused her to lose trust and trust from her parents and keep them away from communication.” I'm guessing that. I apologize if my guess was wrong, but I think you are also the reason why you lost trust and moved away from communication. I think there is no choice but to look back on that point and start where improvements can be made. There was no communication for 8 years, so I think it will take time to improve my relationship with my parents. Don't be discouraged by the results of one letter, try to calmly and carefully spell the letter over and over again, and be able to communicate directly with your parents.

Also, telling my ex-husband about this letter won't be a plus. I don't know if the fact that you sent the letter will only be used by your ex-husband in a convenient way. You'd better take that risk into consideration.
　　

Kokoro-san

For reference only

It's my selfish prediction

Who are Kokoro's parents
From childhood, even after becoming an adult
To the image of a daughter who thinks for ourselves
I think I wanted Kokoro to do it.

I can't listen to what we say
You can't live up to expectations

You probably grew up being called a “bad person”

Children want to be loved by their parents from birth.

therefore
Let's listen to what parents say in order to be loved
I would like to meet expectations in order to be loved.

What is not loved

I can't hear what you say
Does not live up to expectations

It's my fault
That's because I'm a “bad person”

I was instilled with a sense of guilt
Your sense of self-affirmation decreases.

It's
Not because Kokoro is bad
Not because it's bad

Kokoro as it is
I think it's because they didn't accept it.

Who are your parents
no matter how you feel about your marriage

I divorced my husband with no social issues
You didn't meet your parents' intentions
I think it's just unforgivable.

and you
due to an instilled sense of guilt

“I'm the worst”
“There was a problem with my words and actions”

Doesn't it make you think right away?
That won't save you.

“My parents and my ex-husband also have feelings that they are both wrong, but I think it's my fault for making it this far.”

wrong, not right

Kokoro
More sense of yourself before blaming yourself
I think it's important to value your true intentions.