What is “tolerance”

I have a short temper. I immediately notice others' faults and failures, and I feel a bit irritated by them.

Also, on the other hand, I'm concerned about other people's eyes, and when people say I don't like it, it drags on forever.

I know that disgust makes the other person uncomfortable, so even if you are irritated by yourself, don't say it, and don't take disgust more seriously than necessary, even if they say disgust,

“No matter what I do, that person's freedom is not something I can interfere with unless I suffer disadvantage; it is natural that there are people with diverse ideas”

We have been working hard so that we can think and act in a tolerant way.

However, I think this is simply “indifference” rather than “tolerance.” When I look at people around me who say “this person is forgiving,” I feel that they are people who don't get irritated by others in the first place, and that everything about others is interesting and unavoidable. The capacity is generous, so I'm forgiving, and when I'm frustrated, my capacity is already small.

According to Mother Teresa, “the opposite of love is indifference,” and as long as we are a race of people who live in groups, I don't think “being indifferent to others” is a very good thing.

What is the right “tolerance” and how can we learn it?
Or is it okay to continue being “forgiving” and “indifferent” as it is?

4 Zen Responses

Tolerance and indifference are different, aren't they?

Hello, Mr. Furomiso.

It's great to think that far in your teenage years.
For the most part, it is said that what makes you frustrated by the other person's actions is a mirror of yourself. Your partner can show you how you can't control your actions.

The Buddha's forgiveness is not indifference; it's super interest (laughs). It's a battle with your own heart about how you accept the actions taken by someone you had a relationship with and lead them to your own idea of enlightenment.
In Buddhism, it is said that every relationship of contact is enlightenment. So it's a plan from the Buddha to understand not only good encounters, but also all encounters with people I don't like. In the Kannon Sutra, it is explained that everyone you meet is Kannon.
Buddhism explains that if you feel bad about being a person, that person tells you that you have a heart that makes you feel bad. So, you can analyze why you felt bad. “Oh, what I don't like about that person is that I feel uncomfortable with the same person as that person. You can look into your heart saying, “This must be fixed.”

By all means, try interacting with people and analyzing for yourself why you get angry when anger comes out in your heart. Then you will acquire the ability to look at yourself from the standpoint of a third person. If you can look at yourself, you will be able to control yourself with your own will. That is the first step on the path to happiness called by the Buddha.

Good luck! Gassho

everyone lives the same

The problem is that you draw a line between your partner and yourself as separate entities. I feel like there's a boundary between self and others. That's why I think of people other than myself as enemies, and I come out when I want to do what I want.

Others are not enemies. The others are my own. They all have the same life. If you have enveloping kindness, you can treat each other happily. only fights are born from aggressive feelings ^ ^

No race, gender, likes, or dislikes; everyone lives the same. That's why I'm naturally kind as if I were myself. If a baby gets on your lap, everyone will be kind. It won't happen even if a baby eats the candy he's eating. It makes me smile. There is no boundary between life like that.

toleration

Isn't there no imposition of each person's own rules?
Because they think their rules are correct, people who go against them cause a backlash.
The stakes that come out are hit. It's a kind of group hypnosis where people who aren't “iiko-chan” are targeted.
That was probably someone's imposition, too.
However, they are struggling even though they say they are right. That's why I'm restrained by my own rules. That's not true in the true sense of the word.
So, intolerance only binds oneself to oneself. Just self-destruct yourself.
Forgiveness is a heart without me.
A heart of forgiveness, a heart that respects individual dignity.
The original spirit of being a monk.
A free heartfelt response obtained through liberation from human rules that bind humans.
It's not compatible with God, it's compatible with scallops.

mercy

Furomiso-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

In Buddhism, we value something called “mercy,” which also leads to tolerance.

It means having a heart of compassion and a heart of mercy for all things (all sentient beings) without exception.

Since everything is targeted, you can also walk away from indifference.

In order to nourish a sense of mercy, I also practice what is called the “Four Infinity Hearts” in my daily work.

The Four Infinity Hearts

That all sentient beings have ease and cause

May all sentient beings turn away from suffering and causes of suffering.

May all sentient beings not be separated from painlessly and effortlessly.

May all sentient beings move away from the two sides of sparse relatives and greed, and live equally.

・・

To make it even easier to understand, I think meditation on mercy can also be helpful.

See “Meditation on Mercy”...

“Meditation on Mercy Metta Bhavana”
http://www.j-theravada.net/3-jihi.html

“Cijing Metta Suttam/ ※ Note: There is automatic playback in Pali language reading”
http://www.j-theravada.net/sutta/Metta_Suttam.html

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

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