At a part-time job

Nice to meet you.
It was really painful and I wrote it here.
About six months ago, I complained about a customer who works part-time in the cash register. There are regular customers who sell in bulk at thrift stores. I don't remember much about it, but that ○○-san again! I said (I'm a regular customer and I only know my last name). I don't think it was a loud voice. I was a little frustrated because it was difficult to assess a large amount of carry-in... After that, in fact, there was still that customer in the store, and then they went home after shopping at the cash register. This bothered me the whole time, and I really regretted why I said that. I think I was disrespecting my work, partly because I got used to it from my first part-time job. Also, I've been suffering from anxiety disorder and depression since around this time, and I've been stressed. But that's not a reason.
Recently, six months later, I suddenly suddenly remembered that, and I am tormented by a sense of guilt every day. What a disrespectful thing they did to the customer; if that customer were to hear about that, if they were sued for defamation, etc... they had no appetite, and it seems like they are crushed by anxiety every day. I've quit that part-time job, so I don't know after that, but as far as I can remember, I feel like I haven't seen that customer since that day. I don't even remember faces anymore.
Anyway, every day is painful with regret and guilt. Even though I wanted to apologize, I didn't know anything about that customer. However, I'm afraid that lawsuits will occur every day. I have a feeling that I want to apologize, but it's scary to think that a lawsuit will come. I'm really sorry, and I can't forgive my careless self back then. Every day is hard right now, and I'm filled with the feeling that there's no way I can do it in society like this, and that I want to disappear.
Please give me some advice.

3 Zen Responses

Please don't worry and do your best!

I read it.
It's fine! Please don't worry about it! That kind of thing is common in the world, even when working.
Maybe I'm being told myself too? Please think about it!
It's certainly something you should be careful about from now on.
It's in the service industry and hospitality industry, so it's a bad way to say it, but in a sense, strange customers become repeat customers and drop their money.
That's what people are like, and communication with customers also grows in the midst of it!
Please don't worry, renew your feelings and keep up the good work!
I'm rooting for you!

That kind of thing bothers me no matter what.

I've already quit that job, so
It's impossible to apologize to that customer or company,
I would like you to make use of that reflection in your future work.
Everyone always fails.
But it is only by taking advantage of that failure that you are a full-fledged member of society.

Also,
Since no lawsuit has been filed even after six months have passed,
There's probably no possibility of being sued anymore.

Please don't get caught up in past failures
I want them to look forward so that they can make the most of it.

Don't blow the whistle.

　The proverb “punish soup and blow” came to mind. The meaning is an analogy of suffering from previous mistakes and being overly cautious. If you work for a long time, you may make similar mistakes. I have one too. I also had a lot of things in private, and there were times when I was asked by another staff member about things I just said “I'm sick,” told terrible things by people and leaders, summoned, and warned. I didn't understand what it was, and I think that was probably the case, but I felt afraid of being mistaken. Since then, I've been asking people who can speak to me to listen to me as much as possible.
Be sure to talk about your part-time job or frustration to people who are easy to talk to, such as your friends and family. Surprisingly, your friends and parents may have had very similar experiences. Also, in the future, when working, let's refrain from speaking in private during work as much as possible. I am who I am, even when others are talking. Instead of right or wrong, let's set a rule that we should do this for ourselves. The rules of monks are called precepts. It's not right or wrong, it's a commandment that monks keep, and that's why I became a monk. That's why I'm a monk. Precepts make monks. The monks make the precepts.

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