I want to commit suicide, but I'm not sure if I can do it

I read it. I felt that things continued to be difficult for you and that your life was hopeless. Well, life is full of things that don't go well, right? It certainly makes you feel so desperate that you don't like living because things don't go the way you want.
I understand your feelings.
You're giving up on your life right now, aren't you?
But your life isn't over yet.
Your life was given to you.

That's probably how you feel right now, but I sincerely hope that you can rest your mind for a while and look back calmly.
There are times when you are frustrated with your life and only you know that suffering, but there are times when your life changes for the better. It is an unmistakable fact that they are changing from that suffering.
You are also in the process of growing into a person who understands the suffering and painful feelings of real people by experiencing the suffering and setbacks of life.
As a result, you will also be able to understand the suffering of others and help them.
There are still so many things you can do and do from now on.

For a moment, you'll feel like there's no escape, and you'll also think there's no way out of this suffering.
Nevertheless, there is always an opportunity somewhere. There are shifting starting points and collisions.
I don't know where that exit is right now.
Nevertheless, I sincerely hope that you will live in the future and live a healthy and fulfilling day from the bottom of my heart.
You may be alone, but the reason you have lived until now is because you have been nurtured and supported by many people and many lives.

The meaning and purpose of your life is to use lives that have been supported and kept alive even through trial and error. Speaking of how to use it, it's for the benefit of people. And this is so that I can make use of it and grow.

Please take good care of your life and make the most of it from now on. There are so many people who really need your help. And you yourself need help from lots of people.

Since we are humans, there will always come a time when we will complete our lives one day. So is your life.
However, that time is not now.
I still have a lot of work to do, something worth doing, and a lot to learn.

I sincerely pray for your future and sincerely support you.

　Certainly, as long as I ask about your situation, I feel like I can understand that you won't want to live.
Since it's a consultation, it's probably natural to ask questions, but questions were raised that were difficult for the monks to respond to, such as “is it possible to restore relationships with friends” and “is there an easy way to commit suicide without pain,” etc., and it made me think about it.
The answers to life are something you find yourself. For you, the answer is suicide?
But there are people who are worried about whether they can commit suicide properly.
That's where the answer comes in. You're in such a difficult situation that you want to commit suicide, but you don't want to die, do you? ... I think it's natural. Since we are humans... we have worries... afflictions are desires, and to put it simply, they are desires for survival.
If we really want to live, let's live.
There are too many problems for you, and it feels like you're confused and in trouble trying to solve them all at once.
First, why don't you try to solve the problem by narrowing it down to just one...
Restoring relationships with friends... I think this is the key point. Of course it won't be easy, but why don't you start by asking why you're angry? In order to do that, it is necessary to ask a friend to take some time, set the place for that discussion, you are responsible for the tea fee, and first of all, you have to listen to your friend's story without any criticism or refutation.
That must be difficult... but compared to suicide, it's nothing.
Once your relationship with your friend is restored, everything is fine, but even if that's not the case, you can praise yourself for making such an effort. I can acknowledge myself.
No one can sort things out and solve them all at once.
Let's work on each one carefully, without being impatient, and without abandoning (burning) ourselves. I have plenty of time. It's hard to do anything, but we have no choice but to keep going. That's what it means to live.
The Buddha is rooting for you... supporting you...

① The reason why suffering is born about the future is that if it must be something, they have a strong dark image, and since they don't try to look at the real thing, they end up being boring anyway.
I don't know if my new life is still going to be a hard life. This is because the things you encounter are also updated every day. The act of evaluating things makes DIS worse.
Let's say there are people who say bad things about things they love.
The real thing that has been said badly is something you love.
Don't give in to being told badly.
Who would say bad things about a new beginning in the same way? It's my own way of thinking, my way of thinking, and making decisions.

② Fire fires even more when the wind blows.
It may be blazing fast right now.
It's more important to deal with your opponent, Punsuka-chan, with water to calm that fire rather than wind. When you're super serious 👿 to someone, what kind of attitude should they use to forgive them so you can forgive them? Even if you say excuses, it's probably just going to be annoying. Pushie
So, make a sincere and proper apology.
I apologize properly without adding parentheses.
③ I don't even understand the feeling of wanting to die.
I used to think I was going to die too.
It doesn't matter at all, but we, the citizens of Saitama prefecture, had a custom of going to “Toshimaen” when we were students. I went on a date with my high school girlfriend and we broke up. Apart from that, it's not that Toshimaen is bad, but sometimes dark memories come back to life when I hear Toshimaen. 💀
I went to “Toshimaen” with my kids the other day, and apart from that, it wasn't a bad place, it wasn't that there were a lot of people growing year by year, it was just Shimaen.
The Toshimaen I had in my mind is a fresh garden, Shinsekai, something different from Toshimaen (pseudonym), which I definitely think is something new to encounter today, even if my previous memories remain.
Please take a look around.
Oh, was there something like this in a place like this? There must be something like that.
Let's get rid of it and make assumptions 💛
If you don't do all the interviews at the company, you should go to the temple first.
Life is still long, so try mastering how to live comfortably at a zazen session without sitting at home.
Life is about being good at yourself.
Why don't you become your own driving master?
your life will change, right?

Hello Misa.

You're struggling a lot in your home environment, aren't you?
Let's just stop suicide. It's the biggest mistake in choosing. Suicide is suicide when you realize that suicide was a mistake after all in the spirit world and don't listen to starting over.

Let's take another look at our lives. I heard that you've stopped your hobby, so let's start one more time. Life is full of hardships, but as long as you live, fun things will come. If you change your life, that opportunity will always come. Let's make an effort to do that. I think faith is one of them. You have to change your mind.

And if you still can't be happy, then your last resort is not suicide, but becoming a monk. Let's throw everything away and become a nun. You can do it, right? If you can abandon yourself to the point of committing suicide, it's easy to abandon all connections and become a monk. I will cheer for you too.

There must always be a way to be happy. Don't analyze your life on your own; if you have friends or people you can trust nearby, talk to them and get advice. It would be nice if it was convenient for me too. We are always available for consultation. Gassho

Miss Misa

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Rather than committing suicide, how about having your own funeral during your lifetime?

You must have been surprised all of a sudden.. I would like to say that a funeral before birth in this case is about having a strong and firm relationship with the Buddha while you are alive.

In my humble case, I was able to successfully accept the Mujo Yoga Tantra Kanjo of Tibetan Esoteric Buddhism, which I prepared for my funeral last fall, and to be honest, I felt reborn, and I was able to gain great peace of mind not only in this life but also for the next life.

Also, there are many hints in Buddhism for living a better life.

If we learn and practice Buddhism, for example, it will be certain that similar hesitation and suffering will continue to be greater or lesser in this world, and even if it doesn't change much, the way we perceive it will change, and we will not have to perceive them as the same kind of hesitation and suffering as before. At least there will be no such thing as being disappointed by the things in the world.

Please change your mind about wanting to commit suicide, and I would be grateful if you could consider entering into a Buddhist relationship, such as receiving the precepts, or getting involved with the Esoteric Buddhism.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho