The meaning of giving birth to a child with a disability

Sato-san, you did your best, your son is doing his best.

My eldest son, too, was born with a heart valve disorder, and he has had surgery ever since birth
Musuko, who was said not to reach 20, is now 25.

I thought it would be nice if my tears withered; I lived crying every day, but they didn't wither.

And I was able to accept that my son chose us and was born.

My son chose Sato-san and his wife and were given life into this world.

There is absolutely no such thing as an act or work in a previous life,

There's no way God or Buddha would do such a thing.

Since Sato-san is his wife and wife, they can accept him and raise him.

Those hands are there to hold him.

It's fine.

I'm sure we can move on.

Slowly, let's move forward.

It's okay it's okay

The meaning is an afterthought. Phenomena in this world do not occur for a reason, but because of a cause. And finding meaning in the phenomena that have occurred is each way they perceive it.

Why were they born into that house, their face, their abilities, and their personality?

It doesn't mean that it originally had meaning ahead, and we are the ones who take meaning from where it happened.
In fact, even if the doctor told me the meaning and reason of “genetic mutation,” Sato probably wouldn't be convinced by that.
So why did genetic mutations occur? It can only be said that this is because the cause for genetic mutations to occur has been put in place. It is convenient for humans to suffer on their own by bringing in secondary meanings such as God or punishment into it.

Therefore, I don't like the “theory that children are born by choosing parents.”
However, if I were to raise children, there would probably be moments where “I think this child chose me.” This is not actually “it is a fact that X was selected,” but it is a fact that “0 I felt that way.”

By the way, I am what is called male infertility, and I am not blessed with biological children related by blood, but were I and my wife “not chosen”?

right? You won't be saved by thinking like that.

It doesn't make sense. There are facts.
From the fact that “I had a child with a disability” or “I wasn't given a child,” “then what do I do in response to that?” It has a big meaning.

Nor is it fate. Nor is it a punishment. Such a fact occurred in the midst of a mysterious marriage that was beyond human thought. In other words, it's “just a coincidence.”

In the previous consultation, it was recommended to “interact with people in the same situation.” What do you think? Have you looked it up or visited?

I'm sure everyone has accepted “each meaning.” It may also have the meaning of saving Sato-san.
Of course, that meaning is not “fact as the cause of the phenomenon,” but “fact accepted from each standpoint.”

“Why?” Then the middle man cannot be saved. A “why?” that I'm satisfied with This is because they are looking for it forever. Also, once the cause is known, the facts in front of me remain the same.

What's important is “how?” Isn't it about living?

Sato-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

You may be scolded for being irresponsible, but...

To be honest, it's better not to think about punishment or fate.

Actually, we humans always have homo or hetero mutations somewhere in our genes (about 30,000 in the human genome). It has also become a positive personality and excellent ability as various people, and on the bad side, it has become an illness or dysfunction.

There are actually no people, including you, who have all of the human genomes that are completely normal (although it is originally impossible to determine what is a normal genomic form...]). In that sense, everyone also has negative risks.

Also, even if they have similar mutations, in fact, there are cases where expression differs depending on various factors (combination with other gene functions, relationship with metabolic function, external factors, environmental factors, etc.). For example, even if they are twins and have the same genetic mutation, they may develop on one side but not on the other.

Also, even if it is expressed, it is possible that the expression can be controlled to normal function by bypassing that genetic mutation with medicine, nutritional therapy, etc.

Medicine is progressing day by day. Perhaps even if it is an intractable disease now, depending on the progress of future research, it is quite possible that it will quickly become an intractable disease.

The chances of overcoming it are not zero. Please don't give up and I would be grateful if you could watch over your child's growth and support them.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

I have 3 children and 1 child is severely disabled.
It took me a while to accept being the father of a disabled child.
I tried searching for reasons as to why they were born to me, and I was depressed thinking that I didn't have enough power to raise them, and honestly, I was also biased, so I thought they might be viewed by the world in a discriminatory manner.

However, I realized that all of these were just my own thoughts. In my case, I was lucky enough to be born in a temple, and Zen was right in front of me, so I sought salvation by practicing Zen. As I proceed with my ascetic practice, it is an unmistakable fact that my daughter has a severe disability, and the daughter herself is living by accepting everything about it. I realized that there was nothing discriminatory about it. There's a difference compared to the kids around me, but that's also a matter of thought. In fact, I also learned that I am living well as a single person.

People want to think about the reason they were born and the meaning of life
However, the workings of the world and the universe are not made up of such a human way of thinking. There would be no such thing as fate. If you try to solve it with such an egoistic way of thinking, you will suffer. People can be saved by letting go of common sense and ways of thinking.

Try practicing Zen.

It must be really painful.
It was something I had never imagined.
No, that's because I had expectations elsewhere, such as hoping for a girl before that.

You probably don't like coming into contact with people who have children around the same age.
because I don't want to get hurt.
My heart is crushed just by looking at the very common sight of healthy children being loved.
Even the right words of comfort can be extra miserable.
I'm sorry for that feeling of not having a place to do it.

By the way, the two older children are able-bodied, aren't they?
How would it be if this was your first child?

Now worry that it's your fault.
Eventually, we will witness reality.
The feelings we have for our children now are now being held by others as they are, and they are attacking your family.
What will happen to you?
If I were to fight, my son would have no choice but to join the fight.

Children can't choose their parents.
Parents choose their children.
Your child was injured while on his stomach.
That's all.

Right now, you are probably being attacked by anger, guilt, and loneliness due to various feelings.
But that in itself isn't bad at all.

I'm sorry.
From the written point of view, I felt like they were spitting up quite a bit of poison, but I want them to deal with people who understand and accept such feelings.
Because when it comes to healing for you, at least I think so.
Right now, everything that is pretty is just disgusting to you.