Do I have to apologize and how should I live

Koshiba-sama
Nice to meet you

In Buddhism, it is regarded as the best way to get away from “suffering” by “looking at it with a clear view” (honest opinion) and becoming “attached.”

So, when I watch it on “Never Cloudy Manako,” I'm concerned that Koshiba is not without fault.

No matter how many excuses I make, I know that the parking incident 13 years ago was bad... Maybe I should have honestly apologized and discussed it.

On top of that, I think it's sad that I was driven to the point where I thought “I was going to die” due to the opponent's response thereafter.

Is it a human relationship where you can't leave that partner or those involved around you?
If you can leave, I think it would be easier to break away and build new relationships.
However, if you can't leave, why don't you at least honestly express your thoughts to people you know around you.

What you shouldn't do there is an excuse for self-defense.
As for the bad thing, I think it would be good to acknowledge that it was bad for whatever reason, and then apologize for not being able to mentally afford it at that time.

Seems like a tough thing to say.
While you're defending yourself, no one will listen to any kind of apology or excuse.

Why don't you acknowledge what was wrong with you and appeal that you want to improve the relationship to a third party you want to regain relationships with, such as people you know?

I don't think this is the answer Koshiba expected.
I think a world beyond suffering will be difficult, only ahead of “Never Cloudy Manako.”

Namu Amida Buddha

Koshiba-sama

You've been suffering for 13 years, haven't you?
I imagined that if I were myself, I would be able to endure that suffering, and I felt sad.

I parked my car at a nearby store for purposes other than shopping.
Of course, I can't say it's a good thing, but it is said that they were also shopping, and I thought it might be something they could be blamed for.

I don't know what the area Koshiba lives looks like, but I think it's a car society. If it were such an area, I think there were ways for kindergartens to prepare parking lots or negotiate with neighboring stores.
Even though there are many parents who have no choice but to come by car, I was wondering what it would be like to say, “Please don't pick me up by car because it's a nuisance to the neighborhood.”

... but I can't help but say it now.
I think what we do in the future is important.

One method is to thoroughly fight against that opponent and regain the trust of people you know in common.
But I think this is a tough thing both mentally and physically.
Even from the standpoint of Buddhism, which preaches that “nothing comes from conflict,” I don't feel like it's really recommended.

The other is to create a new community and not deal with that “opponent.”
It can also be a hobby club, like volunteering at a family temple women's meeting or a care facility...

I can't think of much with my shallow wisdom.
Even so, it seems like I can even listen to your painful feelings.
If you have any questions, please contact us again at hasunoha or directly.

Even at the elementary school my son attends, it seems that there are parents who use the parking lot of a nearby supermarket when picking up and dropping off, and use it for meetings etc... After all, it seems that there are complaints from shoppers and companies that use it nearby. Everyone is doing it too! Well, that's not going to solve anything, is it?

However, slander, such as denying that person's human rights, has gone too far, so you must have had a hard time too. Doing things up to that point also takes effort. I wonder if just one parking incident would lead to such an act... Do you have any idea of anything else?

The conversation went viral, and that person was like this! There is a selfish view of it, so if you think you want to continue your relationship from now on, you probably have no choice but to resolve the misunderstandings ~ the original seed was myself.

If the child's parent is connected, the child will already grow up, and parents won't have many relationships with each other, so why not switch to a lifestyle where you can make new friends through hobbies, etc., and enjoy traveling with your husband. You won't really be bothered by it.

It must have been a really difficult 13 years. It was a day when my memory was so exhausting, so I think it was unavoidable. Even so, I think you've been able to endure the state that killed my heart, the suffering that I had to consult with a public institution... thinking about your family until now and have endured it well.

I imagine it would be heavy and painful to apologize to any person.
In the first place, apologizing to that person is a strange story, and if anything, isn't apologizing to the person at the store? The people at the store probably feel like it was 13 years ago, so why don't you visit a nearby temple here and have Mr. Koshiba repent (sange) from the depths of her heart to the Buddha.

Also, please walk through each day with confidence, using the fact that “I was able to reflect on myself from the deepest part of my heart” as a reliable support. It's very difficult to look back at yourself after becoming an adult. Being able to do that is proof that they are wonderful people, so be sure to raise your face and spend every day.

At some point, I think Koshiba-sama will be at a different stage in life from who she became and the people around her.

　It must have been slandered and ignored by people for 13 years. I think my family, relatives, and neighbors got involved, albeit somewhat, but the reason I've endured that is probably because of the “humiliation” (perseverance, practice) of the Buddhist “Rokuharami.”
I kept my distance from people who still say such things, and “I've lived my life by looking at good places without looking at bad places and deciding to live with compassion.” If you think so, you should keep going no matter what they say. Takeda Shingen says, “A person who is praised by 99 out of 100 people is not a good person.” However, if you are too particular about whether you are liked or disliked, you won't be able to stick to your own beliefs. Is Koshiba really disliked by people around her as much as she said herself?
I don't know the truth, but does anyone other than the person who was told that for 13 years care about it? That's my question. Even though I have my own life, I can't worry about that. let alone the kindergarten parking lot... The kindergarten side is also responsible for that, so has that been improved?
In old age, I think one way is to expand the community to neighboring towns and the city center and seek friends far away.
　

To Koshiba-sama

Thank you for 13 years of hard work.

More than it turned out like this
How about changing the location first?

If that doesn't seem possible
How about creating people who understand you.
Surely they are somewhere and close by.
Gassho

Koshiba-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

I sincerely apologize for how painful it is this time.

Trivial things, things that were thought to be insignificant, later have unexpected results and cause suffering...

The accumulation of bad acts due to worry is also like this, and it is necessary to deal with them as much as possible each time.

Weeding can also be easily removed by hand if it is around the beginning to sprout, but if you skip it, it will stretch and grow, and eventually it will take a lot of effort and time to remove it so that you have to use a weeder without removing it with your hands.

Of course, apart from whether Mr. Koshiba's act was a bad act or not, it is also thought that misunderstandings and prejudice due to the fact that the opponent was bad this time around and that the initial response was poor also overlapped, leading to subsequent suffering.

However, even if you regret that now, it is a thing of the past that has passed, so what you should actually do now is important.

In order to improve human relationships around the neighborhood, I think it would be desirable for Koshiba himself to make an effort to change the reality where misunderstandings and prejudice are difficult to resolve.

Therefore, as one suggestion, how about being actively involved in community activities and community association activities, for example, to practice helping, volunteering, and service activities in the community.

Mr. Koshiba has stated, “We have lived with compassion, seeing only good things without looking at people's disgusting points.” This is extremely important.

If you have that mindset, I'm sure you'll be able to do more useful things for people than ever before.

It may take time, but I know that by accumulating good deeds for local people, the way we look at Mr. Koshiba around us will surely change, and if we do that, misunderstandings and prejudice will naturally be resolved.

Of course, in Buddhism, good conduct is of course important in order to overcome hesitation and suffering. I hope you will take this opportunity to give your thoughts.

I pray that you will be able to live safely, peacefully and peacefully every day in the community.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho