I don't know if it's okay to live the way I want

Hello, I'm a 23 year old man this year.

I'm a Korean who has been studying Japanese for 12 years, and I'm planning to study in Japan starting next year.

What I want to major in is “Japanese literature.”
Also, I like reading ancient documents, etc., and I would like to study Kuzushi characters and Manyogana.
I would like to go on to graduate school, get a doctorate, and hopefully become a professor.

However, getting a doctorate in the humanities makes it difficult to get a job.

28 when I graduated from college
30 when the master's program is over
When the doctoral program is over, it will be 33.

Even if you turn 33, you won't have a decent income, and it will be difficult to get married. Having a child means raising a child with an unstable income, so I think I feel sorry for the child.

I would like to continue studying in that field until I die, that is, even at the age of 80 or 90. This is my original idea.

However, I want to show my grandson as soon as possible to my mother, who will soon be 60
I'm worried about whether it's okay to be a father with an unstable income even if he turns 35 for a child to be born someday.

I don't think it's okay to live life alone.
I haven't lived alone until now, so I must at least give those people due appreciation.
Also, I must thank those who will make me happy in the future.

How can I connect that thought with the study I want to do together, or give up on either

They go on to graduate school, but they don't get married.

Will you get a job and get married?

and will they make an extreme choice...

My only interest, love, or desire for knowledge? I'm worried about whether it's okay to live for, and whether to live so that people up until now and in the future can be happy.

How should I live?

4 Zen Responses

I think you should live as you like.

　As you said yourself, don't forget to express your gratitude to your parents and those around you.
But imagine their true feelings, too.

Does your mother think “I want to see my grandchildren” until you have bent over what you really want to do?
Can the wife or child you meet in the future take pride as a family for not doing what you really want to do?

There's no point in thinking too much about the future.
While studying, you may come across a job to which you should dedicate your life, have a good relationship, and you may even get married.
Then, at that time, you, not who you are now, make decisions on the spot.
Surely, at that time, my new self, who has accumulated the studies I want to do, will be able to make decisions that are appropriate for the occasion.

The feeling of “gratitude” is not something you can express by bending yourself down.
Rather, please be grateful for “doing” what you want to do.

Marriage is a relationship, so no matter which path you take, there are times when you can get married, and there are times when you can't get married.
Therefore, before marriage, I think it is important to do what kind of work to earn income and live.
In some cases, I think it's a good idea to keep doing what you like as a hobby and work by making use of what you're good at.

The path you can do the most at that time

I read it.
I think it's great that you want to learn and move forward with your own ambitions.
Life is limited, so there is a limit to what you can do.
I would like you to walk a good path among them.
You can do filial piety even if you work hard on your studies.
There are times when they get married because they have a relationship.
Also, you may be blessed with children.

Please search for a way for you to live a happy life and a way for everyone in your family to live a happy life without being in a hurry while you can do it from time to time in your life.

Also, there isn't just one answer; there are many, depending on the time and situation.
Please think flexibly without getting stuck into one thing, consult with everyone, review it in between, and make a calm decision.

I sincerely pray that you will continue to pursue your studies and that you and your family will have a rich and fulfilling day together.

And I wholeheartedly support you.
I'm sure everyone will support you.
Please do your best!

A life where you keep doing what you love

I read your question.
I have the same thoughts as the people above, but I would like to add a little bit.

There is nothing happier in our lives than continuing to do what we love.
In Japan, there are people who are addicted to making soba noodles after retirement and open restaurants, but in general
“If it's this interesting, I wish I had done it sooner.” It is said.
You were able to find something you like at this young age, and you are in a situation where you can keep doing it.

Human capacity is fixed, and in order to achieve some purpose, everything else must be omitted.

Please live your own life.

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