It makes me feel like “living” is a very long time.

Hello. It's been a year since we met. What do you think, has this past year been a long time?

Now, the “Nippon Foundation Suicide Attitudes Survey 2016”
https://www.nippon-foundation.or.jp/news/pr/2016/img/102/2.pdf
According to the report, 1 in 4 people have seriously thought about suicide, and statistical results showed that suicidal ideation is high among young people, and women too.

Looking back, I may have thought about that when I was in high school. It's also unserious, like “it's troublesome” and “I wish it ended here,” but I think about that kind of thing quite seriously.
So first of all, keep in mind that this isn't crazy.

Basically, thoughts and feelings spring up, and are probably not under our control.
It may be a bit difficult to make the most of the fun feelings and thoughts that show interest, and eliminate only the part where you think about death and life.

It probably means “being alive,” including “it's fun,” “my life is long, troublesome,” “I might commit suicide,” and “I want to do a lot of things.”

That is the “fact of living.” You could also say “it doesn't turn out the way you want it to.”

However, it would be heartless and uneasy to keep doing nothing. Among the thoughts that come to mind, there may be a way to handle negative ones and leave them alone so as not to expand, but I also feel that it is difficult.

If that is the case, it might be a good idea to seriously try studying about life and death if it really bothers you, while focusing on having as much fun as possible and thinking about things you want to do in the future.
It might be a good idea to come into contact with various ideas, such as Buddhism, religion, and philosophy, and learn about what interests you in earnest.

Humans must die. I think the attitude of Geo, who continues to be properly aware of that fact rather than trying not to look at it, is wonderful.

Buddhism is a teaching that transcends the binary conflict between good and evil, existence and nothing, life and death, etc. Therefore, I have been taught that “I'm afraid to die” and “being able to die” are also strangely compatible.

Why don't we learn the facts of my life through Buddhism together?

Hello Geo.

The meaning of life is a little blurry, isn't it?
That is proof that they are becoming adults. Becoming an adult isn't just about the body. The mind also changes.
I had the same period. From there, not only do humans live to eat, but the question of what to use our lives for comes up. The primary purpose is, of course, to nurture new lives. Then, as a second purpose, a way of life where you think and search for why you were born into this world begins. I'm also studying for that.
Religion, and Buddhism in particular, was born out of this. The Buddha, who was a prince who grew up without any inconvenience, had the same problems as you, and he solved that problem by leaving everything behind and doing ascetic practices.

I think I have to keep myself busy studying for entrance exams right now, but if you have a little time, please read Buddhist books to get rid of mental fatigue. If you're a high school student, Tezuka Osamu's comic “Buddha” is great. I can read Buddha, who is in the same trouble as you.

Please do your best to find the meaning of life. Of course, you won't find it right away. It takes a lifetime to find it. I'm rooting for you. Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions. Gassho

I'm sure you have a great sense.

Even though you're still young, I think you've already graduated from [current bias], or the “assumption” that young people tend to have that “they should be fine now.”

It seems that they have already realized that “life is not all fun.”
Next time,
Realize that “life isn't always that hard.”

As a hint for that,
Let's count the number of “things we can do” rather than “things we can't do.”
Count “what you have” rather than “what you don't have.”
Count “things you know” rather than “things you don't know.”

I'm sure you'll be able to discover yourself full of possibilities that make you think it would be a waste to get off the train.

Life is so ephemeral. For example, it's a candle fire. The length of a candle is its lifespan, but once a strong wind blows, the fire goes out in an instant.
You probably think you'll be alive for decades to come, but is that really true?
Maybe in a few years, or maybe in a few days, strong winds will blow.
That's why I'm living today to the fullest.
Let's do what we can do today, such as what we need to do, what we want to say, what we want to say, what we should listen to, etc.
No matter when a strong wind blows, don't regret it.

Haven't you forgotten your age now?
Whether you ask young people or grandparents, you'll get the same answer.
Every second, I don't think how old I am.
It's always every second, and no matter where you're headed, humans are living there.
Buds that don't bloom are buds are buds and the truth about buds.
Even when you're listening to music you like, you're probably forgetting the beginning, the beginning, the turn.
I'm taking a day off today to watch “Shin Godzilla.”
I'm talking too fast to keep up with it.
Is it because I became a grandpa?
It's Shingodzilla where the scene changes steadily as you think about what they were saying, and it's also this real world.
Life is an age-appropriate vehicle.
No matter how long the ride is, you can only sit in “one place” for that person every day.
You're sitting on that long, long train, but don't forget that this isn't the view you just saw.
If I were to use the local Seibu Line as an example, when I passed Shin-Sayama Station and was in the next Sayama city, I had already passed the previous station Minami-Otsuka and the previous station Honkawagoe.
No matter how long a traffic jam is, breathing while breathing there does not speed up or slow down.
If you assume back and forth above your head, humans will lose where they are now.
No matter how long you climb a ladder, life is that you can only walk where you are now.
I had pasta for lunch. That's a lie. It's curry udon.
Boiling udon, soba, and pasta is no play.
In particular, I can't take my eyes off the cooking of homemade raw soba even for a moment.
By all means, I would like you to know the depth of soba.
If you miss an al dente with just the right amount of hot water that left a little bit of heart in soba and pasta, it's no different from stretchy noodles at convenience stores.
Today we have today's al dente.
Haven't you missed that?