Is it bad to end living with my parents-in-law who were affected by the disaster?

I understand how difficult it is to live together. Since the rhythm of life is different from that of the parent generation, it is natural to feel stressed over small things. If the kitchen and toilet and bath are the same, women are concerned about even the smallest details. I can also understand how difficult it is for you to feel. I don't feel like I'm selfish or my worst self. The reason I thought about living together was because of your kindness, and there are differences you notice after living together.

From my husband's point of view, they're my own parents, so it may not be easy for them to understand you when you feel stressed and become negative. When it comes to separation, they have to completely change the environment again, so it becomes troublesome for men.

When you think that this kind of life will continue as it is, it becomes difficult, doesn't it?

Let's change our minds a little bit ◎
Isn't it the same for parents that they live together and feel stressed due to differences in their lives? Did you do whatever you want and get scolded?
I think there were times when I felt that it was helpful to be there, such as raising children, preparing meals, and being away from home. They care about us on their side, it's a virtue of living together, and that's because we're parents ◎
Also, for children, living with grandparents should nurture an emotional and compassionate heart ◎
Parents are also getting older day by day, so I think the fact that Rinrin-san's family is by their side is more reassuring and appreciated than anything else ◎ I want them to change their point of view that they supported each other (*^^*)

Stress at work is also a cause of anxiety about family life.
Try too hard, don't overdo it.

As kids grow up and have time to spare, it's a good idea to pamper your parents with housework, have time for yourself to relieve stress, and go on dates with your husband once in a while. Being able to do that is a good thing about living together ◎

Rather than doing nothing, I think it's wonderful to help people in trouble.
However, I did what I was doing, and I found out that it was no good after all.
I've learned that you can't just do what you do rather than do nothing
It was a learning experience for you. That's an achievement.
It's not evil.
There are times when efforts don't come to fruition.
Since they are different people, there are times when we don't understand each other.
If you continue like this, you may become mentally ill due to stress.
Tell your husband about your honest feelings and let them understand you.
I think parents-in-law who have nowhere to go are also uneasy, but if this life goes bankrupt at this rate
Let's tell them.
Let's talk to various people in various areas.

Rinrin-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

I saw the desperate content that I wanted to end my cohabitation with my parents-in-law.

I would like to express my sincere condolences to my parents-in-law for being affected by the unprecedented disaster called the Great East Japan Earthquake.

Also, they sympathized with that, recommended living together in a new house, and helped me with my truly good filial piety, which is really something I am thankful for.

We are beings who can live our lives by being kept alive in various relationships. In difficult Buddhist terms, I would say “good fortune.” I know that in order to live in this “lucky” world, a balanced relationship of helping, supporting, and sharing is important.

In order to have a better time, it is necessary to think carefully about how to maintain this balanced relationship.

If Rinrin-sama continues to put up with it in her current state and unilaterally accumulates stress and dissatisfaction, she will eventually be exhausted both mentally and physically since work is being done, and that is why it will be difficult for her to become ill. Of course, divorce is also possible, as is a concern. Then everyone falls into misfortune, and there are no parents or children.

Therefore, I think it is hoped that they will make improvements while firmly communicating their dissatisfaction to their husbands and parents-in-law as much as possible.

As Mr. Nakata said, I think it is one way to change the way you look at it slightly, and also resolve it while being flexible and creating leeway. I think it would be a good idea to try incorporating a change of pace by increasing time for leisure, leisure, travel, etc.

I'm sure my parents-in-law are also thankful that they live together and are fully appreciated. My husband also knows that's the same. It's not the drama “Hanzawa Naoki,” but I also think that today's hard work will come back first as a good thing with “double back.” Think a little more flexibly, and since it's a no-brainer, I don't use it, but I also think it's okay to pamper your parents-in-law even more and ask them without hesitation.

I pray that Dokarin-sama's situation will improve.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

Rinrin-sama
My name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an.

Rinrin-san is also from Miyagi prefecture, so I think it was difficult during the Great Earthquake. More than that, I think they were very thankful, reassuring, and happy to talk about living together to their parents-in-law, who were probably in the depths of disappointment after losing their home.

Now, there was also a question, “I want to eliminate cohabitation, am I the worst human being?” but I think we should consider the fact that my parents-in-law were affected by the disaster and the fact that living together is a burden separately.
It's hard to move into your spouse's house and live together. Everyone in the old days probably had that hardship, but since everyone around them was like that, young wives gathered and said bad things, and they probably solved it somehow.
No matter what causes them to live together, someone (or everyone) feels burdened if others live together. Therefore, Rinrin-san, who wants to get rid of cohabitation, is not the least bad.

I think it will be difficult to resolve the actual problem of cohabitation and separation, but I am thinking that Rinrin-san's burden will also be reduced and an amicable solution can be found.

Well, that's a pain. It's a state where they're both careful.
I feel that there are many gentlemen in their 30s and 40s who live with me who are single and take care of their wives who have narrow shoulders. There's no way, is there?
If you have a dandy husband who can read the whole atmosphere well, I think he will ask you what he would like you to do every day of gratitude and comfort due to the countless concerns, stress, and patience on the wife's side.
However, in reality, there aren't many men who are that sharp.
Your husband and you, well, that's because your parents are important, and they bothered you when you were young... incidentally, you also act as filial piety at this time, and be patient with your wife! Oh my gosh. So it's realistically difficult for my wife, and it's tantamount to moral harassment because she finally divulged her true intentions that were hard to say and got divorced (^.^) 👈 It's a neutral opinion, so I think it's better to have Danna read it.

As a solution, I think it's a good idea to go back to your parents' house once a month or from time to time to watch your parents and do filial piety.
“Once in a while, live without me, parents and children don't get into the water.”
And you too can go back to your parents' house and turn it off.
So, if you realize the position that you are also a child of a parent at your parents' house, you can understand “Oh, is it like Naruhod that my husband is devoting himself to his parents now” is about 1000 times that of this sentence.
Then, you will begin to think that your husband's tolerance and sweetness to his parents is “so sweet.”
When it gets tough, I go back to my parents' house.
The name is just a campaign of mutual filial piety.
My husband and parents-in-law, who are taking great care of each other there, will also be able to take a break, something will change, something will be conveyed, and there will be discoveries.
And you, too, must feel something real.
And your child will learn something from their backs throughout the three generations.
Also, your husband should understand how important you are. Your husband should also understand that you have parents. My husband is used to eating his parents' food, so it won't be difficult to eat, and my mother-in-law will be able to use her skills. Think you've been scammed, give a good reason, and try it just once.

To Rinrin-sama

Various problems have arisen due to the earthquake.
There are probably many people who have problems similar to Rinrin-sama.
I don't think I'm the least bit selfish.

To those who want them to understand their own feelings, to their husbands
I have no choice but to convey this feeling and this thought once again.

“I also like my husband, who is close to my parents. However, the current environment is very mentally difficult for me,
There are times when I want to see my son after work, but I don't want to go home.”
I have no choice but to convey this feeling.
Based on that action, why don't you consider the following? Gassho