Grandfather's illness

I've been living with my grandfather for 25 years since I was born. He was the grandfather of good health, but he discovered a heart disease the other day. When I went to visit him, multiple infusions were hanging, my ureters got in, and although I understood about myself, I couldn't speak clearly.
From now on, in the worst case, it will result in heavy bleeding and death, but I don't know when that will happen. According to the doctor, it was quite painful at that time, but for a moment... I work as a nurse, but I have never experienced the death of a family member I live with. I'm thinking of visiting them as much as possible so that I don't have any regrets.
However, no matter what, I only think about if I had been kinder to my grandfather in the past... if I had taken him in more ways... if I had done more like this while I was well...
It's painful and lonely, and I can't get a job starting tomorrow. I have no place to put myself.

3 Zen Responses

Let's do what we can now

You can't help but regret it. While we're doing this, time will pass.
Do the best you can right now.
The past is nothing but a memory. If you regret it, you will only suffer.
Grandpa is not living in the past; he is living in the present.
Work is important too, but if you can go see them, be sure to go.

I will live my life using thanks for raising me and my memories

It suddenly became a serious illness, and I saw that my condition worsened, and I saw that I was in a state where I couldn't touch anything due to anxiety.

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I'm thinking of visiting them as much as possible so that I don't have any regrets.
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I think this feeling is important. As much as possible, please offer your sympathy and express your gratitude from Hanako-sama up until now. Even with that alone, my grandfather said, “I'm glad I'm alive. I'm happy to have grown up to be a good grandchild.” I think they will have that feeling, and be wrapped up in that kind of feeling and set off on their journey.

At the same time, think about one more thing. How long will you be able to visit your grandfather from now on? Even if I do my best to heal, my grandfather will soon complete his life, say goodbye to Hanako-sama, and pass away. I think it's much longer to live after parting ways with my grandfather than the period from now until we say goodbye.
How should I live my life from now on, and will my grandfather be happy? I think it's important to think about that in your life. My parents were there, and my grandfather and grandmother, who are my parents, were there, and now you are. I think it's about continuing to burn the life you've received so hard that the flower “your life” blooms splendidly.

The True Presence of Man

The state of human life tells us a greater truth than anything else.
It means that we will eventually become like that too.
Please tell me the truth from my grandpa.
It is inevitable that we will eventually become like this.
Then what should I do?
Life, old age, illness, and death are not someone else's business.
Please hope that you will be freed from your own thoughts by seeking the truth that you will not go the way you want in order to be freed from life, old age, illness, death, and suffering. It's called Bodhi Heart.
It's about seeking peace of mind, true wisdom and enlightenment where one's own feelings are not disturbed.
They will probably build graves and pagodas for their deceased grandpa. Along with that, it would be nice if you could make a strong commitment to seek spiritual improvement for yourself.
When I was deeply depressed, I also woke up my Bodhi heart, and I have reached this day.
I want to do something about this life! They have that kind of desire, and a sacred desire.
Please express your love to your grandfather by calling out to him so that he can be at ease, even if there is no reply to that. Love is not a one-way street. If you say words of love or gratitude to your grandfather, they will fit into your body and you will be wrapped in love for each other.

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