My way of thinking about relationships

I'm worried about my own relationships. When I'm talking to my friends, my friends talk about their worries, stories, and complaints to me and other friends.

I'm a friend, so of course I listen to them, but conversely, when I talk to them about my concerns, complaints, and consultations, they may respond appropriately, make fun of them, and at the end of the day, they may respond as bothersome or angry.

Of course, not only are those people, but there are also friends who listen to me properly, and conversely, when I listen to the story, you say thank you so kindly, and that it's easy to talk to you about such things.

Basically, I always get this kind of reaction, so this person only thinks about themselves and says they're friends, but I think they only think of them as leaning sticks that I use when I'm having a hard time, and I don't think of them as close friends.

Also, people who don't just listen to their friends but only talk about themselves. I quickly dislike people who impose their thoughts without thinking about the other person's feelings, and I think they are selfish people. (Company synchronization, etc.)

Since I joined the company, there are only people around me whose circle is all about me, and my disgust self is abnormal, and I think that maybe this is commonplace in the world, which makes me sad and uneasy.

I myself don't have confidence in myself, and I'm aware that it's easy to care about people and how to get involved with people, but I think like this, not just my friends, but is it excessive to think this far? Isn't that strange? Also, I would like to ask the professor what kind of feelings we should have for such people.

I'm going to be a working apprenticeship starting this year, so maybe my heart is burning, but thank you for your answers.

4 Zen Responses

What is advice

After all, it's someone else's affair. You can make the gesture of “listening kindly,” but you can't take that much responsibility for someone else's life. We introduce things like “the Buddha's teachings are like this,” or “I've had this kind of experience,” but there's no sense (presumptuousness) of taking responsibility for your life.
“Please decide the rest yourself” is probably Hasunoha's stance. Interactions happen once in a while, but they're essentially question one answer.
That's why I can respond to so many questions.

So, the request itself to “think for me and decide for me” is impossible, and humans are doing their best to tell “what I have experienced” and “what I have studied.” You can't push in the first place.
If you don't like that... study on your own. If it's written in a book, you don't feel “forced”, right?

There are few people who can listen properly

Nice to meet you, Somei. I read your question.

There are times when Somei listens to her friends about her worries and complaints, but if you are in the opposite position, when you talk to your friends about Somei's worries, complaints, and discussions, you may be appropriately answered or made fun of. There are a lot of people who don't listen even at the same time at the company, so Somei is confused, isn't she?

Listening to a story can be difficult.

Somei seems to be a good listener when viewed from the text. Since Somei is a good listener, she probably gets a lot of consultations. Meanwhile, there is a dilemma where people don't listen to Somei's story.

There are overwhelmingly few good listeners like Somei. Talk to Somei, think there aren't many people like you, so don't give up and try searching for one. That's because they're always there somewhere.

> Since joining the company, there are only people around me whose circle is all about me, and my disgust self is abnormal, and I wonder if this may be commonplace in the world, which makes me sad and uneasy.

It's the opposite. Humans originally care about others and are naive, yet the current situation is that their number is overwhelmingly small.

As a relationship, “people who only care about themselves” will go out with “people who only care about themselves.” And people who care about others eventually come to meet people who care about others.

You don't need to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't listen to them, so don't give up and stick to that way of life. If you go to a counseling study session, etc., you may be able to meet them.

Who you are in the future

I read it. If true, I think it would be nice if I could listen carefully to people's stories and be friendly, and give advice if possible. After all, I think it's important to be able to listen to people like you from a human perspective because you have a lot of compassion and experience as a person.
So I don't think they'll be pessimistic or angry. However, since they are humans, each has its own capacity, I think it's fine within a reasonable range. If you are dissatisfied, I think it is necessary to play it appropriately to some extent.

As you meet various people, you will continue to grow as a person, so please give advice to the extent that you can accept people to the extent possible.

I sincerely pray that you will continue to grow healthily and become someone who can accept and support people with large abilities.

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