Until the 49th

I'm always indebted to you,

My grandmother passed away today.
Since he is the youngest child, no relatives will come, and it will be a small funeral.

The grandmother consists of 5 children, 3 boys and 2 girls. My father is a fourth son, but the other siblings asked my father for everything, and my father was also responsible for mourning.

My parents' house where I live is my mother's parents' house, and since there is a Buddhist altar there, my mother's grandmother says she doesn't think it would be good to set up two Buddhist altars. Also, the older brothers and sisters have no place to put them, and there is no place to put their remains until the 49th, so they are in trouble as to what to do. Incidentally, there is an ossuary at the temple in the town where my grandmother lived. My grandmother's house is old and is about to be destroyed.

What should I do, I know you are busy, but it would be very helpful if you could answer.

4 Zen Responses

I wonder if the eldest son doesn't like future memorial services

I'm sorry.
If the deceased's eldest son is alive and well, rituals should be performed as the diameter of the “house.” Even in the public world, the family has unnecessary doubts, such as “I wonder if there is something where the eldest son is not the mourner.”
The eldest son, in particular, became a rumor in the public that he could not even be a mourner, and he exposed shame.
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I think the real intention of having my father be the mourner is probably trouble after death, that is, protecting my ancestors and making memorial services, which is troublesome. That's why they're imposing it on your father.
It's not meaningless to be born as an eldest son or second son.
The eldest son is the only one who has the power to carry the heavy weight of his ancestors.
If someone other than the eldest son protects your ancestors, they will get sick because they are people who have no strength to carry on their backs.
Not only will your father get sick, but your father's siblings will go crazy. Being born to such an eldest son is a heavy responsibility.
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If there is a family temple (a temple where the graves of your grandfather's ancestors are located), it would be a good idea to have the sutras performed at the temple until the 49th.
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By the way, when demolishing, please be sure to listen carefully before starting work.
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I read the thank you section.
So let's say the father is the mourner
The remains will be kept at the family temple until the 49th.
However, if future memorial services for the eldest son are difficult, it is a good idea to leave it as an eternal memorial service after 49 days and ask the temple to hold memorial services for immediate ancestors.

Everything is a relationship

When it comes to Buddhist rituals and memorial services, the most important thing is the heart.

The condolences and the mourner are all related.

I'll do my best to do what I can. That doesn't mean you're going to spend money, just put your heart into it.

If you value shape, the feeling in your heart will be neglected.

Right now, I'm only thinking about the souls of my loved ones.

Why don't you talk to the temple about bones?
Somehow, there must also be a solution.

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