his “lies.” The way I suffer.

Currently, I have a boyfriend who only exchanges emails.
We lived together for 1 year, and I thought they would get married based on his attitude and remarks.

Originally, he made a statement that he doesn't have confidence in himself
I was encouraging every time
Every time I say “I should do this”
“We have no choice but to break up.” “If we don't need it, we'll be gone.”
By saying that, they don't apologize or show the will to make an effort.

It became a long distance due to his circumstances.
(I know his convenience is true
When work gets back on track at the place I moved to, I think I'll live together again
I believed it when I was told.)
Rather than the impression that they conveniently brought it in as a farewell
It looks like they don't feel like getting married,
No matter who I talk to, they have the same opinion as me
I also wonder if I have to say that in my story
I think I desperately want to trust him.

And recently, the biggest reason I put off getting married
I found out that it was an “escape.”
What I said to my family was different.

My feeling is that I want you to apologize first.
I don't know if that will make me feel better.

I wish I had believed it that way or even more.
Am I the one who destroyed it?

I think they just want their feelings back.

He always blamed his poverty or his family environment.
I think there were hardships I didn't understand.

The fact that I can't seem to make him happy hurts
I'm caught up in that when I finish work every day for 2 months.
He only replies in a “relentless” manner.

I said “we broke up” to my family
They said “I don't want to end it” to me,
I don't know where and where his will is anymore.

Why am I still emailing him?
Is it because I want to show that I'm right?
I feel like there's nothing I can do for him anymore.
How should we think about letting go of this suffering?
I'd like you to tell me.

4 Zen Responses

Impatience in the 30s

Maybe they'll stick with him because of that too.
An angry man who never boils down is not a man.
You should hit three and a half lines right away.

The decisions you make

I think it would be difficult to try to change him. He probably can't love you because he doesn't have confidence in himself.

I think there's little hope for continuing to wait like this. If you're currently only exchanging e-mails, then you're already living without them. There should be almost no change in your real life even if you say goodbye.
It's probably just about how you settle your feelings for him in your head.
It's up to you to decide whether to keep waiting for him or go next.

that way, this way

Hello. I don't know for sure what it is, but I feel like I'm trapped in a basket. The biggest trap for a human being is unity with his own past, but it seems that plus his approach has caught him being good at it.
It's as if the child is trying to move and pay attention to the mother in the way she wants.
You may be expecting something from him, but it seems like you're in such a situation where it's okay to be poked at any time. I feel that way when I read the view from you and the consultation you feel, so I think the conclusion was probably drawn within you.
Another thing you can think of is that you “don't want to make yourself a bad person.” That is my commitment to myself, and it's a solo sumo wrestler. You can give up on that sense of justice, say sorry to him from the bottom of your heart, and blame him. Why don't you think about the future again with those fresh eyes?

Let's break up today!

They are “choosing not to get married.”
If there is a desire to get married, there are more active movements.
He doesn't want to get married.
I think that's the answer.
It's probably better not to have expectations, and you shouldn't get married due to inertia or compromise from the way things have gone up until now.
There are complaints that come up when they get bogged down in the story, even though they did that, even though they did this, and yet they don't get bogged down, but noni, noni can also become noni juice with noni, noni, noni. It's a miracle fruit. Drink it, improve your femininity, and search for a wonderful and fruitful encounter.
I should just say this as a last word. (What is a fart) “If you don't hurt me (actually, I just don't want to be the bad guy), you probably didn't clearly tell the truth, but I was so sad that they kept waiting so long. I want you to apologize.” I'll just tell you that in a nutshell.
The best thing is to go meet them in person.
The main problem you have is that the real thing isn't right around the corner, and your delusional boyfriend is bothered by it, and you're obsessed with it. It's an inner world of shadows that doesn't let you see the truth. It's not fruitful.
But if you go see them, you'll be disappointed. It would be sad to come back after a break up.
It's important to only deal with real life. If the real thing you should be dealing with isn't right around the corner, and it's annoying, painful, or gloomy, it's not good for your mental health, so if it's ridiculous, let's do it tonight.
You have to shake off the two of him now. The guy in your story is an illusion, so let's determine that he's not real, and start over there. Rather than being lazy, it's about having your own will and voluntarily fool around.
Let's say a quick break up from you in order for yourself to break up with your own regrets and fuzzy feelings.

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