I want to acquire the calm characteristic of monks

I'm a coffin keeper.

I am doing a precious job of being close to the grief of the bereaved families and making final preparations for the deceased.

It sounds good when written like this, but in reality, I'm bad at communicating and I'm so bad at it that I don't really know how to snuggle up.
I'm always nervous and wobbly in front of the bereaved families, and it's a situation where both myself and the bereaved family are exhausted.
It was an industry I chose because I thought I wouldn't have to get involved with people in the first place...

Do you have the opportunity to interact with monks because of work? Monks have a calm atmosphere and act quietly, and I always want to be like that.

So the question is, how did the monks learn that calm atmosphere and way of speaking?

I think it's something I was born with and a habit I've had since I was young, but could you tell me if there are any training methods that I can do even as an adult?

Thank you for reading this far.

Thank you for your support.

4 Zen Responses

in my case...

Are you the casket keeper? It really is a precious job. I don't think I can do it. Thank you very much for your hard work.

Well, they say they want to acquire the calm characteristic of monks,

In my case

It's all blurry.

There are a lot of times when I feel really freaked out! That's it.

Of course, there are experiences and habituation, but basically they aren't really calm, and they're probably trying to seem calm. Strangely enough, when you make such an effort, it really calms down.

Be proud even when you make mistakes. Basically, people around you don't know what's wrong!? Let's keep in mind that we are both nervous and that we still want to work as carefully as possible.

Maybe someday the hattering will stop being hattering.

Dignity is Buddhism

I read your question.
I am a Zen sect, and since the Zen sect has a way of thinking “dignity, or Buddhism (which defines the way an act should be),” everyday actions of every move and throw were strictly prepared at ascetic dojos.
I don't know if I myself behave in a way that is respected by people around me, but when I look at the Osho people around me, it seems that such behavior leads to a calm atmosphere and way of speaking.
It is often said that Japan is a “culture of forms.”
By pouring yourself into a fixed mold and getting used to the mold, the way it should be is will be adjusted.
Other than Buddhism, I think the same thing will be cultivated in tea ceremony and martial arts derived from Zen, so why not try it out?

I'm nervous too.
But I think that's fine. I can tell you that I'm nervous because I'm serious.
Also, I don't think it's necessary to force them to snuggle up.
Please work while treating the deceased as if they were your parents and siblings. By doing so, you will naturally behave in a heartfelt manner, and I think it may also be passed on to the bereaved families.
I want to work with a sense of tension forever.

It's about becoming an impersonation.

When it comes to the actual performance, I get nervous and my mouth gets dry, and there are times when it's the worst.
When I'm at my best here, I practice quite a bit beforehand.
The job of being a casket keeper is also in the midst of grief and tension, so I think the atmosphere is quite intense.
However, we entrust everything to Miiko here, so if you do (create) with confidence and dignity, those around you will feel at ease.
In particular, in front of seniors and colleagues, it's like a test in a sense, so you may be extra nervous, but the target is just a relative, and the person who died.
In that sense, please pretend at that time. I do that too.

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