Regarding various procedures when relinquishing a place card

＜This is a consultation about Japanese places＞

My parents' place plates were made separately from the main body, and they placed them at their home overseas, which is their current address, and put their hands together. The chief priest of the temple whose parents' house is indebted to him also knows about this. My parents' denomination is the Shingon sect.

I thought it would be good to do it, but recently I was told that my siblings living in Japan felt uneasy about how to handle my parents' place cards in my home when something happened to me.

・My husband is not Japanese and doesn't speak Japanese, so no matter what happens to me, I can't discuss Buddhist altars (small ones) and placards with my family in Japan

・My siblings say they don't want to come to my home overseas just to receive my parents' place from Japan.

・Considering the various situations that can be expected, I cannot ask my in-laws here (overseas), including my husband, to take care of the future.

In conclusion, although it is very disappointing, I would like to let go of my parents' place during my lifetime and eliminate the mental burden on my siblings.

I also thought about consulting with the chief priest who is indebted to me, but I would like to avoid hearing from my siblings, and I would be grateful if you could tell me about it here.

Also, I have a complete set of Buddhist altar fittings such as bells and bell sticks brought in from Japan along with the placard, so I would appreciate it if you could tell me how to handle them. Also, I myself go to Japan once a year for Buddhist rituals, etc.

I regret that it was careless to only think about putting the cards by my side and putting my hands together, and not thinking about any issues I could have anticipated.

4 Zen Responses

Just in case it's okay

I'm sure your parents are happy that Sunflower is also holding memorial services overseas. Furthermore, it is really wonderful that they are worried about the unlikely future.

I mean overseas, are there any Buddhist temples nearby? If so, it would be a good idea to discuss the bell and stick so that in the unlikely event of an emergency, you can put them in the right place after turning around. The same goes for the imperial throne.

If you don't have one, you can write your Japanese address on a small box, put a letter inside that conveys your will no matter who reads it, and ask your husband to “put the plates and Buddhist altar fittings here and send them to Japan.” Of course, why don't you talk with your siblings to the temple beforehand and pay the offering as well.

If it's a method like the one above, I don't think it's necessary for Sunflower to let go of her throne during her lifetime, but why not? Please cherish the precious feeling of wanting to hold hands now.

Sunflower-sama.

I've already written a reply to the answer,
In my opinion, as you have said, I think it would be better to consult with the chief priest of the temple where your parents' house is indebted to you.
Also, I wonder if it's best to ask enough not to hear from the family at my parents' house and ask for instructions...

Furthermore, I don't think it is necessary for Sunflower to relinquish her throne during her lifetime.
I think that's fine for now.

This is sibling selfishness, isn't it?

　I'm sorry. I don't understand what my brother is saying. I think it's a mistake to worry about your parents' license plate at your parents' house. I also know Osho from the family temple...
My brother should talk to Mr. Osho at the family temple. I'm sorry, but I think your kindness is superior to that of the Buddha, but there are times when I'm unhappy, but I should tell them what I should convey in order to live in reality. I think it's fine to set aside as much time as you like. I don't think we should resolve the issue of cards right now. One way is to ask for a memorial service at the Jodo Shinshu Honganji School Kaikyō Office near where you live now. When I was training at the head temple of my denomination, believers from different denominations even came to the mountain for memorial services. I think it's better not to think too deeply. If there is a monk who says you shouldn't do that, it will make you suffer, so there is no reason to make others suffer from the Buddha's teachings, so I'd like to say that if it's a monk who causes suffering, quit.
If you go back to Japan once a year, gather your thoughts until then and discuss them with your siblings and the Osho at the family temple.
But it's a forgiving husband that he can keep his license plate at home. I think they're probably Christians, but even if they don't understand Japanese traditions or languages, I'm happy that they can get along with each other. Please spend time praising each other.

Avoiding trouble is repaying your parents.

It's a good idea to ask your inner parents who have passed away.
If you were alive, what would you most like?
Graves are places where remains are enshrined outdoors, and the person in a representative position of the house protects them as the person responsible for the family.
Buddhist altars and placards can be individually enshrined in each household as places to protect spirits indoors.
There is no head office or branch family as a feeling of thinking about those who have passed away, and it is something that every family ❝ should have ❞ as a place to cultivate religious beliefs.
There are countless Buddha statues and placards of Buddha all over the world, and they also exist on Buddhist altars in every household.
So, originally, even in this case, your siblings shouldn't be making a fuss about your rank. (The division of ranks probably feels the same as division of ranks. Even if I explain this to you, you may not understand it. (You probably have a feeling that you want to keep everything related to your parents together.)
It means they are mentally unstable, so I think it's a good idea to give them the shape their siblings want. Don't think badly, since you got married in a foreign country, you have a strong responsibility to protect graves, so you should give them high praise.
Once you have returned the placard to (the person responsible for protecting the grave), and if absolutely necessary, you can enshrine a new place.
I think it would be good if phosphorus etc. can be continued to be used as is.
If the siblings also want them, I think it would be good if they were handed over.
If our parents were alive, we would all be thankful that our siblings would care for us, but I think they would want us to just avoid getting into trouble.
I think the act of you voluntarily relinquishing your rank in order to avoid that is a really wonderful act.
A filial act that can be done even after the death of a parent. That is ❝ recompense ❞, which is a way of life where children are questioned.
Thank you very much.

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