My son's rebellious period

My parents separated when I was in the 2nd grade of junior high school, got divorced, and have been living with my mother ever since. (I wrote it before)
I also tried to hit my mom when I was in high school.
At that time, my mother said, “Wait a minute!” Said, went to the kitchen, picked up a kitchen knife, and said, “Come on!” I said that.
At that time, I thought, “I'm afraid if I make my mom angry,” and I try not to raise my hand even though I have loud arguments all the time.
I have two children, and I try not to forget my mother's response at this time due to the rebellious period of high school students that will eventually come.
These are my experiences, but I don't think any parent is like this.

Taka's son is no longer a child. Don't take away your phone or personal belongings.
Wouldn't you be mad if that happened to you too?
I don't want people to do anything I don't like being done to me, even if it's my own son.
I think it's important to discuss why this isn't good based on your own experiences.
Please think about how to talk while drinking tea.

Right now, you say, “You don't have to work hard.” I would like to say that.
Don't hold it alone, ask the relevant counseling agency to listen to it, have it spit out here,
Also, understand that children who grow up watching DV embody it at some point.
First, consult with a specialized consulting agency.

now... let's go.

　I can only give you advice. I've said it to everyone, but let's rely on what we can rely on. Child counseling centers, public counselors, etc. If possible, my son should also be accompanied. However, there are places where public institutions are bland, so patience and patience are necessary for everything, and my son may be reflecting on it in his heart. Time may resolve. If there's nothing you can do, I think it's okay to run away at the end. I can't even say that I am irresponsibly responsible.

to my son.
Your parents are just convenient for your parents, and they don't understand the pain of your heart, do you? that's annoying, isn't it? Being swayed by adults is really annoying, isn't it frustrating.
If we don't get along this well, I'll only blame myself for wondering what I was born for.
It may not be possible, but I really wanted my parents to be nice.
Sometimes I didn't like it, and sometimes I loved it in the old days.
Parents are parents, and I can't 100% dislike either of them.
That's why it bothers me so much. I think it's okay to get angry. But mom throws buns and knives are too stupid (lol)
My mother probably does a lot of things, but there's a fundamental gap.
Surprisingly, I think it's a difference between men and women.
There are other things that are misaligned. I can't express that well myself, but more than anything else, this twisted feeling is painful and painful, and it can't be helped.
But right now, Mom is really reflecting on it.
I don't know how to deal with it.
But no matter how much you torment your mom, this problem won't be solved, will it?
You should have understood that by now.
I'm not saying I'll forgive my mother, but I just think “you have no choice but to live your own life.” Osho is 37 now, and that's what he does.
Once upon a time, I felt a lot of frustration.
I asked my partner for a change, but they couldn't.
So, I have no choice but to live my own life.
But family is family.
I want your mother to listen to what she wants to do with you in the future.
Also, I want you to tell your mother how hard it was, not only violently, but also in as polite language as possible. If you do that, your misunderstandings with your mother will surely be resolved even a little bit, and your mind will feel very at ease.

Taka-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

First of all, I know I don't have to try that hard.

There is also a possibility that the current state of affairs has disappeared at a level where one mother can bear... the son is an outlet for uneasy feelings, an outlet for complaints and dissatisfaction that isn't going well, an outlet for anxiety about the future, etc.

One of the causes of the son's sudden change may be due to “unhappiness towards oneself that does not meet the mother's expectations and wishes.” There is a high possibility that anger or sadness towards oneself does not go directly to oneself, but first leads to the destruction of what is important to oneself and what one protects, and then indirectly leads to a desire to destroy oneself.

I also recommend that you try keeping a little distance here. I know that it is necessary to make careful judgments, as my son's acts escalate as it is, and if they only collide with each other's emotions, a real tragedy may eventually occur.

Even if you just shut up and put up with it and watch, no matter what kind of reaction it is, it's conceivable that it will only backlash against my current son.

For example, if you have even a little time to spare, you may be able to make them understand your mother's “gratitude” so far by traveling alone, living alone, living in a dormitory, or working part-time, etc., and anyway, I think it's necessary to make my son “independent” even a little bit so that he can take care of himself as much as possible, and set up opportunities to learn even a little bit about what society is like I know it.

Also, if it is determined that the situation can no longer be helped, consultation and cooperation with a third party organization will also be necessary, as Mr. Mitsumi also said. I know that there are various points of contact with schools/child counseling centers, civic nurseries, or various NPO organizations working on family issues, or the police or lawyers, so please feel free to contact us.

I pray that they will be able to overcome it safely and that they will be able to return to their original peaceful and friendly relationship.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho