I want to die. I don't understand that feeling.

I read your consultation.

Of course, it's such a painful feeling that your wife wants to die, but I'm sure you're also in a pretty difficult situation. Let's face it slowly and calmly.

For me, rather than the direction of “understanding,” I think it would be better to shift to the direction of “admitting that you don't understand.”
This is because we don't even know the slightest bit about the feelings of others. There is also an aspect where it is dangerous if you get it right. The feelings of someone I have understood until now are just my imagination.

So first, you'll admit that your wife wants to die regardless of whether you understand it or not.
It's your wife who wants to die, not you, so even if you don't understand it, you can't deny your wife any feelings.

It's not about whether you can understand it or not, but acknowledge what your wife is feeling as it is and accept it together. On top of that, two people who can't understand each other's feelings think about what they should do.

If it were me,

“I don't know. But I want to understand because I don't understand, and even if I don't understand, I want to be with you.”

I'll tell you that. and

“Wanting to die isn't a mistake, nor is it a bad thing. Feelings don't happen; they happen. Things that don't turn out the way you want them to. Something that came up without permission. So it's not that the wife is bad.
I'm sure there are things that are painful enough to make you feel that way. We want to share it together.”

I would also like to say that.

You just need to express your feelings in your own words. It's not about what is the correct answer or anything, it conveys your unmistakable feelings seriously and sincerely.
At that time, keep in mind the fact that your wife's feelings are her's, and it doesn't matter if you can understand it or not.

“I want to die” doesn't mean I want to do the painful act of “dying,” but “I want to be dead.”
In other words, it's probably so painful and painful right now that I think “I want to disappear,” “I want to be nothing,” and “I want to be comfortable.” You must acknowledge that more than anything else. No, my wife is in pain before you admit it or not.

I think it will be hard for you too. Please feel free to contact us here anytime.

I read it.
The feeling of wanting to die and the feeling of wanting to live are two sides of the same coin.
They can be replaced at any time.
Feeling that way began when I was born into this world as a human being.
So we are the ones who have both.
Please think little by little that we are like that.
That kind of thought is also included in living.

Please share and be merciful together. That's because they are connected by a strange and irreplaceable relationship.

I sincerely pray that you and your wife will be able to share and live a truly rich life together from now on.

Please take it slow and calm your mind.

When you catch a cold, you naturally have a fever, right?
It is a natural function of the body to improve immunity and cure colds by getting a fever.
You can get a fever without even being aware of it.
It's similar to that.
When you become depressed, you begin to want to die in order to escape from mental pain.
It makes me want to die without being aware of it.
Therefore, proper treatment and cooperation from those around you are necessary.
You're not depressed, and you probably never have one, so it's natural that you don't understand it. It can't be helped.
However, please know as knowledge that when you become depressed, such symptoms occur naturally.
Please call out to your wife every day that it's okay to be alive.
Please keep your mind calm, be kind, and tell them that it's okay to live so that they don't cause rejection when your wife says, “I want to die.”
Since it's called bipolar disorder, it may be repeated over a few months or years.
If you go into a manic state, your tension will be high.
But please calm your mind and respond only to it.
Also, please cooperate with your doctor, counselor, wife's parents, children, and friends so you don't take it alone.

Good evening. My name is Kameyama Junshi.

I myself have never had a point of contact with someone who is depressed, so I don't know anything technical about the meaning of specific statements such as “I want to die” by a depressed person. Therefore, please take what I'm about to talk about as an answer within my guess.

Now, the answer to “what people want to die for” is “if it's painful enough to die, you should run away.” I think there is a hint for that in your comment.

My wife expresses “painful” as “I want to die.” Also, I think “death” means “escape from reality.” Exactly, my wife wants to run away from the painful reality of today. But they haven't been able to escape. That's why I want to “die.”

What in reality is making it difficult for your wife? And why can't we get away from there? Let's make them understand that “you should run away” is something your current wife can't do. “It's painful not being able to escape.” Why don't you try calling out to them?

These are my answers. I hope you find it helpful, albeit with little effort.