I want to die

I read your consultation.

Wanting to die itself, dying itself, specific way of dying itself

There's no right or wrong, is there?

It is said that right and wrong are determined by the human mind.

Well, in terms of Buddhism, I think there are places where that alone is not far enough, but it is also one of the important points.

There may also be a trend in the world where people speak ill of suicide. So what about yourself? If you ask this question, it probably means that you are at a loss. While that hesitation is present, at least it won't be good.

In Buddhism, it is called good cause, pleasure, bad cause, and pain. Good causes bring comfort; bad causes bring suffering.
So, when it comes to good causes and bad causes, a cause that brings comfort is called a good cause, and a cause that brings suffering is called a bad cause. It may seem like an afterthought, but this is because Buddhism always looks at the “now.” You can go back and look at the cause from “the fruit called now.”

Well, the other day, I went to pray at a parishioner's house. There are cute cats there and I'm looking forward to meeting them. I thought I'd touch it after I finished working, but while reciting sutras, I could see the cat's movements and felt uncomfortable. When I looked closely after reading the sutras, one of my back legs was missing. wherein

“Oh my god, poor thing”

This was the only thing I thought about, and the cat played without worrying about anything. This is probably because animals don't have a sense of hesitation. Animals in cages at zoos don't go crazy saying “there's no point in being alive anymore.”
For them, not having legs or being in a cage is not a bad cause.

But we humans are worried. Worrying is not a bad thing either. There is a world we can only see because we are worried. Worrying is a precious thing. Even if it seems like they're doing the same thing, the depth is still different if they go around a circle and do the same thing because they're worried.

If there is a part where you feel even the slightest bit that dying as yourself apart from the world or other thoughts is a bad thing, face it properly and check it out.

Going to psychosomatic medicine, asking questions here, and eating even when it's painful are all activities for life that you do before you have lost your mind.

I didn't come up with a lot of thought, and maybe there is an answer to something that came naturally before that.

There were times when you couldn't easily go back to your hometown, but if that's not impossible, why not consider returning home?
I think it would be much better to go back to your hometown than die.

I read it.
Are you feeling lonely without anyone you can rely on right now, you are in the midst of painful feelings and sorrow, you are mentally and physically exhausted, and you have become lethargic, and do you want to die?
I sincerely understand your feelings.
If you don't mind the feeling that makes you want to die like that, please take your time and talk about it in this place too. Everyone has their own worries, doubts, and suffering.
Please tell us how you are feeling right now.
You're never alone, are you? You're already connected to us.
I think we can deepen our relationship with you while listening to your feelings even at this place.
Not all of your worries, doubts, and suffering will be solved right now, but I think there are times when you can find hints about how you will live in the future while listening to your feelings and conditions.

Since life was given to each person, there is no unequivocal answer.
I think it's about slowly finding the meaning, value, and answers through repeated trial and error as we live. And death always awaits ahead of that.

Please try to calm your mind by repeating your breathing slightly slowly. Also, please write your story here while slowly looking back on your feelings.

We are always waiting for you.

Again, you're never alone.

Maru-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

As an entity, the meaning, value, or reason of a monogot cannot be determined and said to be this, and it depends on causality (cause and condition).

Furthermore, it also depends on the cause and effect of one's own mind to capture that object.

Well, meaning, value, or reason does not mean that it is “not there” from the beginning, nor is it “there” from the beginning; it is possible depending on cause and effect.

There are many hints in Buddhism about how to adjust causal relationships to find good meaning, reason, and value.

By all means, I would like you to first enter Buddhism with something you can do close to you. Of course, also from this hasunoha. Please count on me.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

As the saying “life and death are the same,” life is on a fine line.

I think about death. Think about the meaning of life. You have such wonderful and deep thoughts.
When I was a child, I lived in a state of worry where I was immersed in things I was interested in. Cry when you want to cry; laugh when you want to laugh.
However, as they become adults, they experience experiences, and it is adults that the storage of the mind they have cultivated becomes dirty. That's why a heart that accumulates good things in order to purify the mind and body develops.
Right now, thinking about death feels like I'm trying to thoroughly search for the meaning of life.

・You don't have to look for something fun.
・You don't have to find something you want to do.
・You don't have to think about things that make you think of death.

Thinking about death has reached the point where you know the depth of life.
Try writing down what life or death felt like in your notebook. As I write it out, I naturally discover living light. The answer to what I was looking for at that time comes up. Of course, it's a positive line of thought.
If you have the courage to post to hasunoha in this way, you can become a person who has the power to live and can save people who are struggling.

Gassho