I want to accept dying

I often read the various opinions of various monks and use them as a reference.

First of all, I'm not very religious, and please forgive my shallowness in praying for the mercy of monks and Buddha only at times like this.

I've been suffering from “scary to die” seizures for almost 15 years.

The trigger was my grandmother's death.
It was a highly acclaimed rebellious period when I had just become a junior high school student, and I didn't get along well with my parents, I couldn't study well, it was useless no matter what I did, there was nothing good, and it happened in the middle of wanting to die.

I understood firsthand how easy it was for me to think about death.
Much bigger than my sorrow, I was struck by the fear of what would happen if I died and the fear of losing myself and disappearing.
I felt sorry for myself that my cuteness came before my sorrow, but that fear still torments me.
I can only desperately push in that fear and try to forget it.

I couldn't talk to my parents.
I didn't think I would be able to imitate myself in a way that would cause me to worry about something because of my exhaustion at the time. I think the number of times they rebelled has also decreased slightly.

Maybe it's because I didn't handle my fears properly at that time, and even now, at an unexpected moment, the front of my eyes is completely dark, and I sometimes feel nauseous due to fear that cold air quickly creeps up from my feet.
Seizures are most likely to occur when taking a bath, and the bath is no longer a place to relax at all.

However, even though all humans eventually die, I was ashamed of being scared, and I wasn't able to successfully communicate it to my psychosomatic medicine teacher (I had an adjustment disorder before) or my counseling teacher.

Anyway, I'm afraid of losing myself and going into a world where I don't understand anything, and it's unbearable.
And even after I'm gone, time continues forever, and when I think that the Earth will perish and the universe will perish, the tips of my hands and feet become as cold as ice, and I can't maintain my sanity.

I want to hear the monks' opinions.
If you know how to capture the world of monks and the world of the Buddha, can you be freed from this fear and die safely?
The death of my parents (they are both around 60 and still doing well) also crosses my mind every day these days, and it's sad and painful that humans become something they don't say anything, and it's so sad and painful that it's unbearable.
I'm sorry for this selfish consultation, but I would be happy if you could give me some hints so that I can live my life with peace of mind until I die even a little bit.

5 Zen Responses

It's very normal to be afraid of death.

Rather, I think people who aren't afraid of death are doing something wrong.

Buddha says we should think about how to live rather than think about death, but let's dare to face death here.

Instead of losing yourself, why don't you think about losing your boundaries with all your lives?

“Life,” which was thought to be unique to me until now, has lost that barrier and returned to the original world of “life.”

When I myself came to that idea, I was no longer afraid of death.

The way to stop worrying about the future is not to think

My idea and code of conduct is to allocate 100% to myself now, here, and to do my best for the future without thinking about the future.

It's like entering a sea of fresh water and becoming a gang

I read your consultation. The other day, I received a question from someone who, like you, is worried about death and is struggling with fear and anxiety. ↓

“I'm afraid of death”
https://hasunoha.jp/questions/32640

In addition to this, it's also a good idea to touch on the similar concerns of many people and their answers from the categories you've selected.

Well, the monk's answer “don't think” is also included, but this is difficult, isn't it? Of course, Buddhism may originally be like that, but if we, who are weak and unable to do that, try to force ourselves to do so, we will simply “put a lid on the smelly thing,” and the smell may be smoldering under the lid forever.

If that's the case, I think it's also important to think it through and think it through.

By the way, what bothered me

> (After death) Humans become speechless

That's where it is. The idea is “when you die, it's over.” In Buddhism, this is a form of misunderstanding (wrong way of thinking) called dismissal.

You've probably already received a lot of seeds from your parents. That seed will sprout, blossom, and grow into a trunk that supports you even after your parents pass away.

For those who are aware that they have received the seed, the death of the person who died earlier is not the end, and they can realize that their own death also becomes someone else's seed.

“Even if the petals fall apart, the flowers don't scatter. Even if the form dies, people don't die.”

These are the words of Kaneko Taiei, who was a monk of the Otani school of Shinshu.

You can make your flowers bloom from the seeds you have received, and entrust the seeds to someone else. That continuous endless activity may be the Pure Land.

The Pure Land is not an ideal world after death. It works infinitely. If you go back to that function, it won't end with death.

No matter who lives or dies, it all comes back to work — just as every drop becomes a river, and eventually becomes a group in the ocean.

From “Masanobu Shou”
The opposite of mediocrity (the opposite of mediocrity, if you enter in unison,)
Like Shusui Irikai Clan (shusui, it's like entering the sea and becoming a gang)

Learn the structure of death (instant/regeneration)

Shamu-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Yoshitake Grammo has also been taken up. Please also refer to the humble answers to the questions below.

Question “I'm afraid of death”
https://hasunoha.jp/questions/32640

If you want to know the structure of death (in and regeneration) specifically, I think you may find it helpful if you read the following two books.

“The Tibetan Book of Life and Death” Kodansha Bunko (by Sogyal Rinpoche)
“The Gelk School Edition: The Tibetan Book of the Dead” Gakken Bunko (translated by Dr. Koichi Hiraoka)

There was a time in my humble life when “death” was scary, but after learning from the above, I started practicing Tibetan Esoteric Buddhism, and now, there are places where people look forward to death.

We are also working on practices (acts in the fulfillment method of Mujō Yoga Tantra) to make use of the process of death as an ascetic practice aimed at enlightenment.

The above two books are probably a bit difficult, so be sure to read “The Dalai Lama and Reincarnation” Fusosha Shinsho (written by Ishihama Yumiko sensei).

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

I don't want to die either.

Why was I born?
Even if it can be explained biologically
Even if you make philosophical arguments
I don't understand it fundamentally.

Why am I going to die someday?
Even if it can be explained biologically
Even if you make philosophical arguments
I don't understand it fundamentally.

Why do we have to live?
I don't understand this fundamentally either
I want to eat something when I'm hungry
it's still scary to die...

In Buddhism
People think they will attain Buddhism when they die.
Because I'm going to die either way
If that's the case, it's not about dying and becoming nothing
I want to believe in the idea of attaining Buddhism in the Pure Land.

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