How to live positively

These are magic words my senior taught me when I was meditating in Myanmar, when my training didn't progress as expected and I was tormented by self-loathing.
“I forgive me.”

If you're about to be crushed by a whirlpool of negative emotions,
Please smile, “We met again.”
Please snuggle up and hug me, saying, “You can stay there.”

No matter what emotions emerge within you or what events surround you, they are not meant to make you suffer.
However, if you can't forgive it, if you deny that it “should not be,” it will be a source of great suffering.

One of the Buddhist practices is the “meditation of mercy” Mettā Bhāvanā.
May I be happy, may not have my worries and suffering, may my wishes come true, may the light of enlightenment appear in me... etc., and so on, and so on, and so on, I will remember my own happiness first and foremost. Then, I will expand the scope of my thoughts to close people, all life, people I don't like, people who don't like me...
It starts with noticing and acknowledging your own feelings of “I want to be happy” and “I don't want to suffer.”

I hope Mame will be able to firmly hope for her own happiness.
May you smile at your feelings of inferiority and guilt, and live peacefully.

Mame-sama.
My name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an.

It's not a bad thing to reflect, but it certainly isn't positive to feel guilty about events that have passed. Also, that feeling is strong, and I am very worried that it will interfere with my daily life.

A personality that looks at oneself critically cannot be changed that much, so how about accumulating good evaluations from others?

I'm not asking you to do something big; it's an accumulation of small acts of kindness and effort. Properly express your gratitude to your family and those around you. I'll help you with something. It's also a good idea to give up your seat on the train.

Is it a bit optimistic that if “thank you” from Mame and the people around you fill up, you can be positive little by little...

One more thing.
There is a Buddha who always watches over Mame with a merciful eye, no matter how much she hates herself, no matter how backwards she is. I think people can become just a little stronger when that is in a corner of their heart.
If you don't mind, please prepare a Buddha seat for Mame in a corner of her heart. There is no denying Mame, and I think it will be a place that emits warmth.

Mame-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

“What should I do to be positive?” ・・

First, in order to be positive, you cannot move forward unless you determine which direction is ahead.

Being positive means walking in the direction you should go.

For example, in complete darkness, people stand up without knowing which way to go. I think Mame-sama is probably in such a state right now. I think the current darkness is due to negative feelings of self-loathing, inferiority, and guilt.

In terms of Buddhism, this state of complete darkness is called “ignorance” (fundamental ignorance). As the characters say, “there is no brightness.” It means dark in the truth. We have lost and suffered because of this ignorance, but Buddhism is the definitive path to getting out of this world of ignorance, and Buddhism is truly a light that illuminates the darkness. It is hoped that they will rely on these lights to escape ignorance.

In order for Mame to walk forward, it is still necessary to have lights to show the path. In order to be positive, I think it's a good idea to start by holding a light.

I think it would be a good idea to use that light as something that Mame wants to achieve, such as an appropriate goal or dream.

Relying on that light, it is essential to move forward from now on. Of course, life's path isn't easy either. There will be bumpy roads, sandy roads, gravel roads, slopes, and dangerous rocky roads. There will be rain and snow, and there will also be times when the wind is strong, and there will also be times when the sun is scorching. Even so, it's not completely dark, and I believe that as long as there is a clear light, we can move forward even if we overcome difficulties (self-loathing, feelings of inferiority, guilt, etc.).

By all means, please move forward on this path called life with a sure light. Also, due to the lights, I believe that the definite path that Mame walked, the path she pioneered herself, will surely be useful and helpful to someone.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

This is Tange, who is also offering positive thinking courses.
Self-loathing
inferiority
Feelings of guilt about the past
I almost sweep when I see a face
Undermines self
... The only thing they all have in common is that, in a nutshell, they are “thinking about bad things.”
Even just from the questions, this many negative words came up.
Even though I'm unaware, I usually use a lot of negative words in my head.
The first thing to do is to refrain from it.
But it's not just that you don't have to talk about it.
When you say it out of your mouth, it means you're putting it out of your mind.
If you think of bad things, negative things, and negative things in the spring in your head, it will run through after it becomes information.
Therefore, we will cut off that root now.
First, starting today, please objectively view the movements of your own mind with a careful and delicate eye for observation.
① Bad thoughts come up.
② Get caught up in it and chain bad things.
③ It makes me feel more and more disgusted
④ Even though I suddenly came back to myself, my feelings were dark.
⑤ Oh, I blame myself for thinking bad things again.
You're usually like this every day and it's a full course of bad thoughts from ① to ⑤.

Therefore, please think of it as an opportunity when ① comes out.
This is because you can change yourself.
It's “an opportunity only when dark feelings come out.”
The thought of ① itself that came up originally has no distinction between good, bad, dark, and bright.
I just happened to think about it.
It just popped up on TV or something.
When that ① came out, I usually let my thoughts unfold like ②.
But from now on, as an exercise, when a bad feeling comes up, I'll leave it as it is.
You should never set it to ②.
The only way to save you is to leave your thoughts alone without chaining them in any chain, just as the bell that has just calmed down naturally.
Actually, the state of mind of excellent Zen monks and people who have attained enlightenment is that they spend their time with ① appearing.
I will never let it expand to ②.
Please do that steadily.
The habit of making one's thoughts unfold will disappear, and there will be no negative chains at all.
Now it's time to practice.
When a thought comes up, look at it objectively, keep it quiet, and leave it alone.
That's all.
If you don't understand again, please ask a question.