I'm estranged from my friends and I feel lonely.

Thank you for your question, part-time housewife Kurami.

The number of friends close to you will be fewer, and you will eventually be alone, right?

There may be many people who have such vague anxiety.

I wrote “Let's have an unsolicited friend,” but “an unsolicited (fusho) friend” is a word that appears in sutras.

It is a sutra word called “Buddha theory Muryojukyo” in the sense that they willingly become friends with various people.

Actually, this is compared to the work of a Buddha or a Bodhisattva.

Even if sentient beings are not looking for them, they will willingly become friends with the Buddha or the Bodhisattva.

Right now, I see that relationships are doing well, and it seems like I don't see any anxiety for the time being.

There's no need to rush.

I'm sure you'll find people who are willing to exchange friendships with each other as “unsolicited friends.”

However, let's “go ahead” and show your friendship too.

It seems that the longevity TV program, which is popular at lunchtime, will soon end, and the phrase that was repeated in that program was “Every friend's friend is a friend.” It was written that Kurumi currently has 1 or 2 friends. If this is zero, it means that your friend doesn't have any friends, but that's not the case.
Please take care of your precious friends even more. I'm sure someday the spread will come from there.

Even if by any chance they are alone, there are always people who feel just as lonely.
“If there are two people who are alone, they aren't alone anymore, right?”
These are words that the teacher says to the students in the novel “The Blue Bird” by Kiyoshi Shigematsu.

As long as Kurumi wishes to have someone she can understand in a deep way, I believe she will always meet someone like that, even if it takes time.

　Kurumi. What do I need friends for? It might be wiser to think about it before starting a relationship. Actually, I had the same problem. There are songs such as “I wonder if I can make 100 friends ♫,” so I thought I had to make friends, and I've been working hard since I was born. However, they stopped one day. “You're my friend, aren't you?” How many times were unreasonably difficult questions thrown at one word; bullying, ignoring, and betrayal are a daily occurrence. How much did you give up because you wanted to do this but your friends didn't want to do it? Among them, he said, “What, no matter how kind I am, they won't listen to me. I can't do what I want to do. I don't need friends like this. How much easier would it be to still be alone?” I thought, watched “Shimotsuma Monogatari,” and woke up all at once. “I don't need 100 friends. I'm going to do what I want to do and where I want to go.” I made up my mind and have reached this point. But strangely enough, while I went to what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go, friends appeared in each community, and although I may not be able to call them friends in general, I feel like I have made friends with whom I can communicate. I don't know what the other person thinks, but...
I feel like it's different from living selfishly, but if you say it from someone else's point of view, it's probably selfish. Do people who are disliked, people who are deviants, and people who change apply? Other people are building relationships while watching the faces of strong people, yet I only do things I can't read. I wonder if he's a difficult person to do? I think people I don't like don't like me, but people who have a certain amount of interest sometimes act together.
Kurumi, it's not because she has many friends that she feels alone. It's about what I have a purpose in life or not. Find out what you should do and what you need to do right now. People you can call friends will follow you later.

Part-time housewife Kurumi
My name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an, thank you for your support.

I'm on good terms with my family, and I have friends even though the number of people is small. Reading the consultation, I felt that Kurumi's worries were in the far future.

They are not necessarily in order, but there is a higher possibility that the parent will die first.
Also, if you look at the average life expectancy of men and women, there is a possibility that the husband will come first in the future.
At that time, Kurumi will be alone. Aren't you anxious and nervous?

Actually, I wasn't able to meet my child's relationship, so I have the same anxiety. It makes me feel so nervous when I think about it. My friends and close friends are here now, but I don't know if they'll be there forever.

You said, “How to live a brighter and more positive life.” If you turn your eyes away from the problems that will come one day, on the surface, you may be able to live a bright and positive life. But I think the way to live is more positive in the true sense of the word if you look straight ahead and be prepared instead of turning your eyes away.

I don't think I would be prepared for this if I hadn't come across Buddhism. If I had a hard break up one day, I think it was because of the Buddha's teachings if I could endure it.

For reference, please see the link if you don't mind.
http://www.hongwanji.or.jp/mioshie/howa/min111001.html

PostScript
There is a saying that comparison is not familiar with worries. No matter what kind of content it is, for the person concerned, it is a big deal, so please do not say “luxurious worries,” etc., and contact us.

The Buddha didn't have any friends, huh. (ToT)
I'm not saying...
The Buddha is a precious way of life, saying “I am the friend of all people.”
It's not a small joke saying “he's a good guy, so he's my friend; he's not my friend because he's a bad guy.”
Having friends doesn't make me feel sticky every day or every week, and I can't take them to the other world. More than that, it's a way to destroy the feeling of loneliness itself.
That is the Buddha's broad and pompous way of life, saying “I am a friend of all people.”
If you're a housewife, you'll keep your hands off the sponge when you're done washing. You don't have to hold it all the time. I'm in a state where I don't hold the scrubber called my consciousness forever, wash the bubbles of my thoughts, and let go of my hands. There is plenty of room for anything to bring. There's another spice theory
・When you do zazen, the whole world becomes a mess.
・When it comes to zazen, everything that exists speaks to you.
・Therefore, if you are in a zazen state every day, you can make friends with everything.
“Becoming” in zazen here does not mean doing zazen, but rather a state of consciousness in which everyday life deviates from thoughts in the same way as during zazen meditation.
For example, I put out the fire of my ego, which is the cause of bubbles coming out of the pot in my heart.
Whether bubbles of thought come out naturally or disappear, it's still hot ke. Microwave for a few minutes without stirring, touching, or doing anything.
If you do that, you'll feel quiet before you start thinking about that.
At that time, my sense of millet was rice grains, honey, and amaranth.
It's fine because I don't have myself. You can be friends with anyone, even with things, because you don't have a sense of self-restraint. There's no loneliness there anymore.
There is a strong sense of loneliness and loneliness on your plate.
Let's rub all of my consciousness thoroughly and let the bubbles flow easily.
If it's a clean plate or plate, you can eat it deliciously no matter what you put on it every day.
If your mind isn't clean enough to make a sound when you rub the dishes and make a Cucoco ♪ sound, you won't feel radiant.
Please come to the zazen session once in order to restore you to look like a freshly washed plate.
In Ibaraki Prefecture, an acquaintance Master Matsuura holds a soulful sanzen ceremony at a temple called Kozan-ji Temple.

Part-time housewife Kurumi

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

We have received the following questions from people who have had similar problems in the past.

Question “I'm not good at making relationships”
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/246

At this point, I mentioned a little bit about “relationships.”

In Buddhism, I would like to explain that it is a world of probable circumstances called “good fortune,” where everything is made up of “relationships.”

Relationships with people also depend on this “relationship,” but of course, as relationships with people also seek encounters, various relationships with people will also increase, and if you don't seek encounters quite the opposite, relationships with people will decrease.

Also, there are good relationships and bad relationships.

This is a quote from my humble answer above, but...

“Various relationships are certainly important, but after all, I think it is essential to think well about relationships according to what you want to do, and what you need. Also, conversely, socializing with people can be excessively stressful or cause trouble, so you also need to be careful. Anyway, when it comes to relationships, if there are good relationships, of course, there are also bad relationships. While making a good assessment of that, I think in order to quickly break off bad relationships and make arrangements so that good relationships can be brought in as much as possible, along with maintaining a balanced relationship without being caught up in relationships with people, not being bogged down, and not bothered, it may also be necessary to cultivate a sense of concern and compassion for the other person as much as possible. ・・”

In order to improve relationships, it is essential to value good relationships so that one can attract good relationships, arrange for good relationships to be blessed, and furthermore, adjust so that people are blessed with good relationships, and furthermore, adjust so that they are blessed with good results through fellowship with good people.

In order to attract good relationships, it is also necessary to adjust yourself. If you are dark, unenergetic, and live backwards, you will never be able to have a good relationship. I think it will also be important to try to be cheerful, energetic, and positive.

Also, I know that everyone's answers to the following questions may be helpful in various ways.

Question “How to live positively”
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/332

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho