How can I become more confident?

Thank you B4 for your question.

A figure full of confidence is reliable and cool, isn't it?

But I feel like you're trying to gain confidence by comparing yourself to people who are inferior to you in order to have confidence.

You've already realized that it's futile, haven't you?

Humans want to determine the value of things themselves by comparing them.

But is the value of the thing itself determined by comparison with others?

I belong to the Jodo Shinshu sect, so my principal image is Amida Nyorai. I think we will be saved by this Buddha.

Amida Nyorai is also called “Muryoju Buddha” and “Muryangko Buddha.”

“Infinity” means “cannot be measured” and “must not be measured.”

The Buddha does not measure a person's value compared to others.

We may be creating various kinds of suffering by comparing and measuring.

Why don't you take a break from comparing Buddha as an example?

From there, you may find your true confidence.

B4 (it's a name like the size of a paper, isn't it?)
My name is Urakami from Nagomi-an, and thank you for your support.

As I read your question, I felt as if they were talking about me.
I also compare myself with others, find out where I am superior, and feel at ease.

But at the same time, I also have unfounded confidence.
I'm sure the reason for this is that I was raised lovingly by my parents.
Then I became a monk, and I received a great sense of security when I learned that no matter what kind of poor person I am, there is a Buddha who never abandons me and saves me.

B4 was bullied when she was in elementary school, and she had a hard time.
I don't think it's unreasonable to have a hard time for 3 years during this sensitive period, making it difficult to trust people or pretend to be proud.

But I don't think anyone can do it to endure loneliness after being bullied for 3 years.
I think it's a great effort to keep showing a confident and proud attitude so as not to go back to that time.
I think they already have something they can be proud of.

After that, I think it's time to meet.
If you meet someone who recognizes B4 as she is, I think you'll lose strength in your shoulders and gain a relaxed sense of confidence.

I don't know when we'll meet.
However, the Buddha always accepts B4 as he is.
Could you please put that thought in a corner of your heart?

I've been a monk for 35 years, and I still don't have any confidence. It's always a series of scary, painful, and painful experiences. Even with the recent earthquake, I felt my own limitations. However, confidence is also important. If you anticipate the worst, you will overcome it at that time. Humans are animals that get swept away anyway. Having one thought of yourself and continuing to have it will probably accumulate and become confident. Naturally, there are individual differences. Every person's thoughts and circumstances are different. So first, if you have goals that you can easily achieve and progress little by little, you will gain confidence.

Below, in the style of advertising a suspicious correspondence course.
Strict confidentiality! I will confidently answer and tell you about your concerns under the condition! This way you'll feel confident right away!
Therefore, I would like to send my feelings to my temple as an expense for providing information.
The details of the information provided vary depending on the payment amount. Please send it by registered mail. Is this a new business?

Below is an excerpt from the course (ah, it's always like this. (The answer starts here)
···
It's about realizing “not being able to compare” rather than “not comparing.”
First of all, that is what the Buddha's “Tenjo Tenka Yuiga Dokuson” means.
Buddha explained the vast love of humanity that no matter what kind of existence there is, there is only one existence in heaven, earth, and universe, so love and fulfill yourself as you are without comparison.
Conversely, as you continue to compare, you won't be able to love yourself for the rest of your life.
This is because even if you think you are the best in the world in one field, others are superior in another aspect, so every time you compare, a small sense of loss occurs over and over again.
Even people who have no merits, people who don't compare, and people with a rich heart don't compete with anyone, so there is no victory or loss.
It's second to none. They don't even win. Competition for superiority or disadvantage is indecent in terms of Buddhism.
Think about “You can't compare yourself to others.”
So what does incomparable mean
Tomatoes have the goodness of tomatoes, chili peppers have the goodness of chili peppers,
Strawberries have the benefits of strawberries, watermelons are watermelons, and bell peppers have the benefits of paprika.
Everyone is red in color, but everyone's role, function, and existence itself are different.
Watermelons are green on the surface, but the inside is passionate red.
Each one is an absolute entity that can never be compared.
Even your clone isn't you.
Cloned matter, no matter how small and similar, cannot even exist in the same place spatially. So nothing is the same in this world.
Just like it is sung in the classic song “Only One Flower in the World” by SMAP and Mackie (←), every flower has different colors and seeds, how they bloom, how they bloom, and when they bloom. Camellias bloom in winter.
That's why it's so stupid, but Tenjo Tenka YOU is supreme, and each one is a precious absolute entity.
The continuation can only be viewed by paid members (laughs).

B4, I'm sorry if you've already watched this movie.
There is a film called “Schindler's List” directed by Steven Spielberg which was released in 1994 in Japan. B4 is exactly what is mentioned in this work

“You can't do it unless you have a strong feeling that you are strong and that you are superior to others due to obsessive thoughts and lack of confidence, such that if the mask of “strong me” is peeled off, everyone will walk away, and that some people who have left will even become “enemies” for themselves.”

A person called will come out. He kills many weak people out of his obsession. The main character, Schindler, explains “true strength” to him.

I watched this movie 5 years ago. Five years ago and now, I'm still a weak person. However, I heard Schindler's words, and as I tried my best to put them into practice, I gained confidence even though I was weak. However, I fall far short of director Spielberg and Schindler, so I entrust conveying that “true strength” to this film.

It's a very famous film that won 7 Academy Awards, so I think you can get it anywhere. Also, it's an epic work that lasts over 3 hours, so please sit back and watch it.

B4

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Regarding “comparing,” the question up until now is “I'm so envious of my friends around me.” (http://hasunoha.jp/questions/290), the question “I don't rejoice at people's success” (http://hasunoha.jp/questions/184), and the question “I hate myself for not being happy with my friends' happiness” (actually) may also be helpful. http://hasunoha.jp/questions/124

Now, please prepare B4, A4, and B5 paper after B4's name.

A4 is “small” compared to B4. But compared to B5, it's “big.”

So how about A4 alone originally?

“There aren't any big or small ones, are there?”

A4 is A4, and B4 is B4, so they each play a necessary role.

You yourself are inherently not superior or inferior. Superiority or inferiority is simply something that can be judged relatively within various relationships, but as an entity, it is something that cannot be captured in a fixed manner. You yourself are just yourself, and you have to do your best with what you can do and what you can do in line with reality.

Each one is special in its own way. However, if everything is special, then nothing is special. This is what “indiscriminate” means in Buddhism.

One more thing, a blank sheet of A4 paper, which is the “front” and which is the “back”?

“...”

That's right. I can't decide which one is front and back.

This is our original state of the world; in Buddhism, I call it “indiscreet.”

However, we use the power of “discernment” to recognize and understand things by dividing them into various things.

Of course, B4 is free to decide which is the front and which is the reverse side, and B4 is free to draw whatever it is.

If what you “decide” and “draw” by believing in yourself is recognized, it will lead to “confidence.”

However, even if you say “indiscreet,” it doesn't mean that anything is allowed. It is necessary to be careful because it may not be established by ignoring common sense and customs in the world.

Due to the character limit, up to this point...

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

I can understand the feeling that you feel stronger than anyone else if you don't get bullied and acknowledge yourself firmly. Was there anyone you could talk to or protect you at that time?
Bullying is a despicable act. That must have been painful.

you know. No matter what kind of person you are, perfection is difficult, and you can't be the best.
It gets tough when you look around and choose people while thinking that you are superior. I wonder what kind of values they use to value superiority and inferiority ~ that is also my own yardstick. If you live like that, you won't be able to see important things.
Every life is precious and imperfect, so we can snuggle up and support each other. I can accept it, so I can grow again.
Everyone is different, everyone is good (*^^*)

It's something you notice because you've experienced a lot of things and met a lot of friends ◎

I don't think you can become an excellent person because you have strong power and high abilities, but you can become stronger and stronger when you have a sense of respect for each other ◎

I wonder if there are any friends I can express my feelings to each other ~ I wonder if there are people I can love unconditionally ~
I think such an existence will change me.

(People who make fun of or laugh at people who reveal their feelings are people who don't care about people. (You should stop being in a relationship)