I'm engaged but I'm uneasy

Nice to meet you, Chan_megu.
It is said that they got engaged.
Congrats!

But it's uneasy, isn't it?

There come a few times in life when we have to make irreparable decisions.

Marriage is fine.
It's best to go on to college.
I only bought it at a high price.

Once you've made a decision, are you really OK with that next time? I'm worried that there might have been a better option.

Because, what if it fails? What if other conditions change and take a bad turn? Or maybe it's because my head takes care of simulating when it doesn't work.

The Buddha suppressed these as “all suffering (all suffering).”
No matter how good it is, I'm worried if it goes away.
Bad things can feel like they'll last forever.

But the interesting thing about the Buddha's way of thinking is that everything changes for better or worse, so if you know that, suffering will decrease. He said “Shishōtai (Shishōtai).”

As with anything, there is a difference between trying and imagining.
Even if you try to get married, in reality, there are many things that are different from what you expected because various individual conditions are different.
It may work, and it may not.
However, from time to time, try to proceed by cooperating as much as possible with the partner of your choice.

Finally, my impression.
Marriage is fun.
Especially after ten years, it becomes so fun that you can't see it wrong.

Congratulations on getting married.
Please cooperate as much as the two of you can and enjoy going through the rough seas of life.

Money is also important,
It's about having the feeling that “I want to make him happy” and “I'm going to make him happy.” Even after having a child, I will continue to love not only the child but him, and I will maintain the temperature of happiness in this family.
In a marriage where there is no subjectivity, anxiety does not go away when the partner leaves it up to the other party.
Both are protagonists, and both are recognized as playing a role in creating happiness in the family.
Even when it comes to engagement, intuition is also important.
There are things that need to be properly concretized and visualized before they are done.
If you open the lid, you can't get it back no matter what you say that wasn't worth it like Tange. It comes with it, though.
Anxiety disappears by concretizing and visualizing.
Think carefully about his savings and future income.
In some countries, people without financial power are not allowed to get married.
That was because I couldn't support my kids.
If he has a habit of wasting money, I dare recommend turning back for your sake.
The vague era of “because I believed” is over when the path one should choose among endless options is over.
Things cannot lead to peace of mind if they are not concretized, visualized, and between a married couple.
The responsibility to communicate well and determine exactly what lies ahead if there is something he wants to hide has already begun.
We talked about both the good side and the bad side.
In any case, I wish you happiness.

Chan_megu-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Just before marriage, the living environment changes rapidly after marriage, so I know there are many things you may feel uneasy about.

When changes are involved, there are places where you still don't know what's going to happen, so it's definitely unsettling.

Question “I'm so envious of my friends around me.” The questioner on (http://hasunoha.jp/questions/290) also said, “I'm supposed to be happy, but I'm uneasy.” That's what you said.

That's right... I think it's also necessary to resolve this uneasy feeling by sharing that uneasy feeling with your fiancé without worrying alone. Why don't you talk honestly to your fiancee little by little...

Also, it's a good idea not to take this or that seriously and work on it with a little bit of leeway.

Which of the two
It's better to be kidding
It's better to keep going

I wish you both happiness..

Wedding Song by Hiroshi Yoshino

In order for two people to be in harmony
It's better to be stupid
It's better not to be too splendid
Things that are too splendid
If it doesn't last long
It's better to be aware

It's better not to aim for perfection
I think perfection is unnatural
It's better to lie
Which of the two
It's better to be kidding
It's better to keep going

Even if they blame each other
Did I have the right to be blamed
It's better to be suspicious later

When to say the right thing
It's better to make it a little less
When to say the right thing
If it's something that hurts your opponent easily
It's better to be aware

Like I want to be splendid
Like I want to be right
For unreasonable tension
Don't use color
Relax and unwind
It's better to be bathed in light

While being healthy and blown away by the wind
To the nostalgia of being alive
My heart suddenly gets hot
Is it OK to have a day like that

and
Why do we get hot in the chest
Even if you keep silent
I want the two of them to understand

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

I was uneasy too.

I had a big fight with the chief priest at the time
Run out of the temple
Become a freelancer
We got married in the midst of that.

Things about the future,
about money,
It's about children,
There was no shortage of sources of anxiety,
I was happy being together then (even now...).

No matter how happy you are,
The sense of anxiety will never go to 0%.
With the boyfriend I chose for that reason
Please walk by sharing your joys, sorrows, and pleasures.