Wishing You Love Me

Nice to meet you, Yo-chan.

Unfortunately, nothing is more difficult than changing someone else.

People see what is projected of their own consciousness above others, and it comes up in the Buddhist way of thinking called “consciousness (consciousness).”

It's common for people to look at the same person, say that some people are beautiful, but others are normal and I don't like them.

Conversely, the projected image can be changed as much as you want depending on how you feel.

Also, in this “consciousness,” there is no description of how to approach the other person's consciousness itself.
This is because the other person's consciousness and mind are not something others can control, nor can they control.
At most, it's probably about “encouraging” by this action.

It is uneasy that she doesn't feel “loved” because of her attitude.
What's more, since they split once, they're pessimistic that they're probably close to 0.

Speaking of what you can do, if you somehow swallow that anxiety with the fact that they are still dating (even so, project a positive image of them being in a relationship) and continue acting that benefits your partner rather than for yourself, your partner may one day be “encouraged” too.

When you try to change the other person's consciousness or mind, it is humane that they are forced and move further and further away.

For example, stir up your current feelings.
・I love her.
・I don't want to break up with my girlfriend.
・I want to be loved by her.
・I want to be needed by her.
etc etc
Out of these, which one is most important, and I'll do my best to do what I can without changing her.
What's more, it's not intrusive, and it's good for her.
Why don't you review things like that?

You can't change others.
I think I'm the only one who can change.

Yo-chan
My name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an.
I saw another question, but I think the content is similar, so I'll answer it here.

Well, first I'm going to prick it.
“That was great”

The previous question said, “I was convinced that my partner would not leave in my relationships up until now, so I was able to clearly say what I wanted to say.”
However, in my current relationship, they say, “I'm afraid of being disliked, so I'm going to push myself to death.”

Maybe the girls before felt the anguish that Yo-chan is currently feeling for Yo-chan? Have you ever pushed yourself to death for fear of being disliked even when Yo-chan told you what you wanted to say?

I'm sorry if I misunderstood, but if so, her current girlfriend is telling you about the suffering she previously inflicted on others. So I said, “That was great.”

Well... up to this point, it's half of every eight for unpopular men who haven't felt “confidence that their partner won't leave,” so please forgive me m (_ _) m

Even if it's a lover or a married couple, their love for each other doesn't always end at 50:50. There are probably many cases where this is not the case. I think it's going to change at 40:60 or 70:30.

Does Yo-chan feel that she is currently around 120 (myself): almost zero (her)? The balance is extremely poor, and the mental state becomes unstable, doesn't it? It's also in the corner of my memory, but it won't last long, and I don't think we'll be happy with each other even if we force it to last a long time.

It's up to Yo-chan to decide what to do in the future.
But why don't you discuss it carefully while holding the “preparedness to break up” rather than “being disliked” in your heart.

A long time ago, when my grandmother stuck a long stick of ripe yuzu around a yuzu tree that hadn't borne fruit for many years and let the tree smell it, a large amount of yuzu fruit grew.
The trigger is important, isn't it?
(*^▽^*) Everyone says love casually, but it's a very polysemic phrase.
Not only are you asking for it, but are you also able to output love with your own subjectivity? I think that's basic. If you haven't made it, you're spoiled.
Rather, if you do that, you will naturally become a person who can swim and play in the ocean of love overflows.
If the act of love is an air conditioner, it is love that keeps you warm when it's cold and cool (cool rationally) when it's hot (HOT/ emotional).
If love is driving a car, safe driving is more love than driving fast.
If love is ramen, when I was fat, I ordered a special serving ('・ω・`), but it's a normal serving of cutlets and low in fat ('°°`)! Even doing things like that is love.
The question is whether love can be felt there.
I wonder if only LOVE expressions that appear in so-called manga and dramas are love ♡.
Damn it, if you ask women to read your sentences, I think there will also be voices saying that it's cranky, that you think too much, and that your ideals are too high.
Tricking parents and children into listening to them, praising them, sometimes scolding them, and sometimes leaving them alone is love.
What is important is whether they are able to interpret with each other the form of “love” and “love expressions” in each home that have been passed down from generation to generation from generation to generation, neither I nor my girlfriend were ever in school, nor from the generation before that. There are also people who are simply extremely good at expressing affection and get 0.2 points. It's not her. about you too.
As I mentioned at the beginning, am I willing to do it? It's about asking that.
To deliver the warmth of love, if you don't deliver it so that the other person feels “warm,” it won't be conveyed as love even if it is meant to be love.
In order to convey the kindness of thinking about the other person called love to the other person, it is necessary to sharpen, polish, and soften it so that the other person can accept it and reach it.
Bottom line: stop asking and taking a stance, and try living a way of giving.
Your partner will naturally come to fruition as an expression of affection.
I think it started when you delivered the scent of love.

Yo-chan

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

The kanji for “love” is written as “receiving” the “heart.”

Accepting the other person's heart, and the other person also accepts their own heart, and this emotional acceptance truly means “loving each other.”

Of course, this love is also a biased love that only goes one way or the other, and relationships may not go well easily.

In my previous question, I mentioned the importance of a “balanced relationship of caring, supporting, helping each other, and supporting each other.”

After all, in order to maintain this balanced relationship, it is important to accept each other's feelings, that is, to love each other.

Of course, each person has their own shape and way of showing affection, and I know that there are also things that they don't dare to express with words or actions.

Therefore, instead of unilaterally deciding that you are not loved or that your partner doesn't love you, I think it would be a good idea to focus on the degree and spacing that is not burdensome or stressful for the other person, and then communicate well so that they can adjust to one's own pace. Of course, bargaining around that is deliberate will be disliked by the other party, so I think it is desirable to be patient with a little bit of patience and gradually adapt to the partner so that the other person can get used to the pace of affection you seek.

Anyway, don't be too impatient. If you hurry, you'll ruin things.

As I quoted it last time, let's go ahead with “I'll try my best, try as hard as I can, even if I say something a little bit, I simply love you” (lyrics/composer by Masayoshi Yamazaki).

Oh, that's right, so let's keep “caring, supporting, helping, and sharing” as “compassion, supporting love, helping love, sharing love”...

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho