I want to get married, but I can't meet a partner easily.

Since you say “Kyōonna Desse,” you're probably from Kyoto. You probably don't have any childhood friends or relatives in Tokyo where you currently live, and it's probably difficult to get them introduced. (Incidentally, for people in Kanto, it feels like about 30% more just hearing that they are from Kyoto, so I don't think there's any harm in remembering that.)

In the rest of the world, with the exception of developed countries, marriage and romance are separate things. You probably know that was the case in Japan in the past. However, it was an age where most people ended their lives without leaving the village where they were born, and now when I watch TV, a nice man sweeps away on the other side of the screen and throws it away. There is an overflow of information on “man's manuals,” “good marriages, bad marriages,” and everyone is discerning, for better or worse.

Of course, I can't tell you to marry someone you don't like. However, no matter how savvy you are, once you go to a ski resort, you have no choice but to eat at the slope cafeteria, so there is a fixed range of reach for each marriage partner. If you don't like the slope cafeteria, do you skip lunch, or... make your own?

If what Kyome-san is looking for in marriage is love, there is no need to rush or be impatient. Because love lasts a lifetime. You will be able to stabilize your life if you work hard on your own. Well, when that's not the case... Why don't you make it clear what you're looking for? It's something that Kyome-san can't give up in order to live a long time. It's fine if it's vulgar or bothersome. The flow may change if you start from there and redivide the partitions.
I pray that you will meet good people.

Humans always have strengths and weaknesses.
Therefore, I think it is unavoidable that shortcomings will exist. I think so too...
It seems that the key is how to grasp the couple's compromise in order to successfully proceed with the marriage.
In other words, I think it depends on how far you can acknowledge the act of forgiving & acknowledging.
If you want perfection in your partner, you must be perfect too. I think that kind of love and marriage would be difficult.
Unfortunately, marriage is never about being alone. I'm sorry, but I don't think the perfect man you are looking for is available.

If you understand yourself well enough, I'm sure you'll meet someone someday.
If you want some kind of trigger, why not change the way others look at it a little bit?
A person's weaknesses are also strengths. People who are talkative are social, and people who are clumsy are laid-back.
People have two sides. (Actually, it's your way of receiving it) How about going out with someone who seems forgivable when you look at it from both sides instead of one side?

Nice to meet you, I'm Kyo-o lol

I'll write what I think from my experience.

Originally, I had no desire to get married at all, and I felt like I would think about it when I was over 30. Therefore, there were no ideals such as having to do it or that marriage should be like this.

It just so happened that when I was with a woman I had been in a relationship with when I was over 30, I vaguely felt, “Oh, I wonder if I'm going to marry this person,” and I got married when I was 32.

As a result, I don't know if that was good, and are you 100% satisfied with your current life? If asked “?” There is also a part like that. We fight and often think, “It would have been nice if we didn't get married.”

What I think in that fight is that before marriage, you can only see your partner's strengths, and after marriage, you tend to only see your weaknesses. To put it bluntly, the biggest thing I appreciate to my partner right now is to thank them for giving birth to my son. There were also various crises. But I think it's important how we can overcome that together.

Instead of looking at it with a cold eye, I would like you to think about your opponent's weaknesses and strengths, and your own weaknesses and strengths, and feel whether you can accept not only your strengths, but also your weaknesses, and whether they will accept them.

Also, if you get married, it's better to have lots of small fights. It's not a joke, they build up without fighting, so it could explode somewhere and become an irretrievable final fight.

First, I think it's essential to naturally feel the other person and then yourself.

Gassho

　Today's Onna Desse. You're not wrong. I'm saying the right thing. I think it's good for women to seek perfection without flaws in men. To put it bluntly, men try very hard when they beat women, but then they stop making an effort. You're issuing a warning to such men, aren't you? It's not your fault that men see their flaws in you; it's because men have shown them. They neglect their efforts to show their strengths to you, and their weaknesses stand out. That's why they run out of affection for you.
I can't talk about people either. I really think my companions are enduring it, and I even appreciate it. What I can do right now is listen to my partner's advice. One of them is not to forget your birthday and wedding anniversary. My relates' birthdays too. We will celebrate at that time. We had no interest until now, but we began to interact in that way, and we became unaware of our relationship with each other's parents. Women are essential for eagles to grow.
After you've found a man's faults, why don't you two think about how to overcome them? Is that also different from the real thrill of being in a relationship for a long time? that's not right.
That's all the advice I can give.　

Today's onna desse-sama.
Nice to meet you, my name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an.

It seems that “a completed marriage” is also called a “marriage that has been granted” recently, but I don't think it used to be a word with a good image, as shown by “chatta.”

However, what I think recently is that if both men and women work, they can make a decent living, supermarkets, convenience stores, and cleaning shops are open until late at night, and the Roomba even cleans the room.

Even if you have a lover, the merits of getting married don't come up when you think calmly, and as we get older, the passion “I want to always be together” can be suppressed with reason, and they become increasingly reluctant to get married.

Under such circumstances, I don't think it's a bad thing that the birth of a child is a trigger for making up one's mind.

... No, I'm not recommending that you have a separate child. If you think about it carefully, it's now an age where it's so difficult to get married, so I don't think it's your fault.

Aside from that, the pattern I can think of...
・Search for men without faults
・Compromise and get married
・Give up and don't get married
・Aim for a marriage
・Make a fiery love
・Become a woman who can accept your flaws
Maybe it's about that.
Which path do you think you could choose?
Or are you likely to come up with some other good idea?

I'm sorry I'm not talking about “it would be good to do this.”
Please contact us again.

Conclusion ☆ Perhaps shortcomings should not be viewed as negative as shortcomings, but rather as differences. ☆
In order to love someone, you have to love the differences between them and yourself.
That woman who left for Colin's Star※ in her 50s told me about it.
Ah, Corinne's star isn't Yukorin, it's about divorce.
“Tange, if you're getting married, it's good to have all the same people, from hobbies to food you like.”
“Huh? Isn't it because they're different that they're attracted to each other?”
“That's not true...! that's not true... It changes as you get older. If even one diet is different, it becomes burdensome and painful.”
“... hmm”
In the morning, I belong to the Gohan sect and the tsukemono sect, but my wife is from the bread sect and the coffee group.
Recently, what that woman told me resonated with me.
They also often eat different things.
“Differences” are something we should acknowledge.
By accepting differences and knowing their merits, we also expand our view of the world with each other.
Even so, humans are roughly finished by the time they get married.
Assuming that I was married to my wife who lived in the jungle or in an unexplored outback, I said “you, I, Tretateno snake Tabetaine,” then “(-. -;) I think they'll say, “Don't like it.”
That's not a flaw, it's a difference.
Please remember once again the women you once loved.
I wonder if all of this should have been settled due to “the other person's shortcomings.”
Right now, I hear the term postpartum crisis.
I don't think it's cool for both men and women to take the slightest misunderstanding towards their partner and deal with it with a negative attitude.
If you have a negative attitude, you might end up not being able to do with this guy, “it's a flaw” or “it's a difference, it's impossible.”
If we both have feelings to improve it, I think we can improve the relationship itself. Once again, please affirm that the shortcomings of women in the past were a slight difference and forgive them.

Today's Onna Desse-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Yes.. First of all, I hope you read the contents of Yoshino Hiroshi's “Congratulations Song” quoted in the humble answers to the questions and answers below.

Question “I'm engaged, but I'm uneasy”
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/374

Next, please read the lyrics to SMAP “Celery.”

http://j-lyric.net/artist/a002907/l00731d.html

Strengths and weaknesses, ways of thinking, personalities, differences in values... it's natural that they are so different from each other. The problem is how we can overcome it once we start a relationship and get married. Mutual tolerance and tolerance are also being questioned.

Of course, too much inclusiveness and tolerance can be harmful. Things that are morally or ethically deviant, for example, there is no need for inclusiveness or tolerance to forgive even if you have an affair, so please be careful about that.

Anyway, I know it is necessary to gradually get rid of the assumption that everything is right and natural, even from poor experience. The key to this is how to control selfishness and an egocentric and self-righteous self.

I think it will be a very useful place to learn about Buddhism even though it's just a matter of time. I think it's okay to take this opportunity to learn the teachings of “innocence,” “emptiness,” and “good fortune,” which Buddhism preaches, and I know that you will be able to understand even a little bit even if you refer to various answers to my past questions and answers.

Once you get married, it is important whether you can support, help, share, and spend time in love with each other after acknowledging each other's differences.

If you have a good relationship, I pray that you will be “happy” without failing due to “collusion” between your egos.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho