I don't understand the feeling of handing over an offering

I read it.
I read your text. To be honest, I'm surprised.
Offerings are paid as a form of gratitude for receiving a memorial service.
Therefore, it is a general rule for you to be honest and to the extent possible without interfering with you or everyone's lives, etc.

I don't think I'm in a position to say anything about that temple or monk, but I think this is a very reckless request.

I'm wondering if there is an estimate or market price for offerings at each temple or region, but I think it's too bad to say that suddenly it's 1.35 million yen or more, which is the lowest line.
In the unlikely event that, for example, there are only a few parishioners and there are unavoidable circumstances such as asking parishioners for that amount of money in order to maintain the temple due to no other income, but as a temple, it's just a level of asking parishioners, and I don't think it's a requirement.
Otherwise, it's the same as an unscrupulous trader that sets a fixed price.

I'm sorry for the long introduction.
After all, why don't you discuss the amount of the donation with everyone in your family, honestly discuss the circumstances in terms of you and everyone's lives, and ask the temple to understand it?

Even so, if the temple is demanding expensive alms, why not consult with the religious affairs office or head temple of the sect to which the temple belongs, or the top temple in the prefecture, or if it is unavoidable, why not talk to an administrative scrivener or lawyer?

My friend also has administrative scriveners who are good at dealing with temples that make such outrageous requests, so I think it's okay to consult with such people, for example.

And as a last resort, give up on temples that make such unreasonable demands and ask the monk who sincerely offers memorial services of the same denomination, and who wholeheartedly makes memorial services for his grandmother regardless of the amount of money. I think there are probably people here who can handle Hasunoha within a reasonable range.
In any case, we don't have time, so please consult with everyone quickly and calmly and talk to the temple.
I sincerely pray to the Buddha that my grandmother will sincerely hold a memorial service for everyone and be guided by the Buddha and that they will be at peace of mind. Shishin Gassho Nanmu Amida Buddha

Good morning. I offer my condolences.

An offering is one of the six haramitsu (ascetic practices for you to reach the world of enlightenment). Also, since temples do not do productive activities, offerings are an important source of income for temples. Please understand that monks are absolutely necessary for living in a capitalist society.

I felt that the amount shown in the funeral offering this time was higher than expected.
It depends on the temple and region, so I'm not in a position to answer how that amount is, but if possible, I'd like to pay comfortably.

At temples, memorial services are held every year, such as the first anniversary and the third anniversary. It has been held until the 50th anniversary of his death at my temple. How about the temple of the family? If you are not told to do such an annual memorial service in particular, or if it is likely to be a memorial service in a small number of years, why not think of it as an offering that includes that amount (future annual memorial service). Also, at my temple, I receive an annual fee from all the parishioners. How about a temple of the family? If such a delivery is unnecessary, why don't you think of it as a donation that includes that amount?

In this way, even if you feel that the offerings at that time were expensive, it is conceivable that every temple is about the same when you think about it in total.

Nice to meet you, today.

To be honest, I'm also very surprised...

Isn't a monk snuggling up with everyone at a temple that was opened to save all sentient beings, even if they were poor? Also, when an important person leaves in a family where life is difficult... I am allowed to hold a funeral without receiving any donations.

The amount of money does not determine the memorial service. My temple is a temple my family built.

There are no beautiful shining ornaments or splendid secret altars, but the heart that genuinely saves sentient beings at all does not shake like a diamond, does not shake, and does not shake.

What is important is a pure heart. That is the best memorial service.

Originally, an offering is...

In the time of Buddha, monks made clothes from cloth that were no longer needed for those who had passed away. Also, offerings were cloth, wood, and food offered to religious temples. Also, currently, offerings = money, but it varies depending on the thoughts of the temple and the monks, etc., and this is it! There is nothing clear about what I said. An offering is giving an offering not to a monk, but to the principal image that is enshrined.

They say give up (give up), and feel sorry for the money... because I've given this much... this much! Make my wish come true! I mean, the Buddha doesn't like anything in return.

Not for myself... but for someone else. Please give alms to family and friends, etc., and put your hands together. Small prayers... come back bigger.

Someone is praying for you in the same way.

back to the main subject, but...

Originally, this is something that shouldn't have happened. Like the senior monk you answered earlier, please consult with the Legal Aid Association (Law Terrace) etc. to which you belong, such as Motoyama, etc., and in some cases.

There are also serious senior monks along the way. If you have any questions, please come here anytime.

I prayed from the bottom of my heart to my grandmother.

Sincerely... Nanmu Daishi Hensho Kongo

May your life be arranged in your own way.

We clap hands.

It's certainly expensive!
However, since the amount presented is specific, there may be some basis, such as an arrangement at a general meeting of parishioners, for example.
It's not just a funeral offering, and “other expenses” such as facility maintenance costs, graveyard usage fees, and cost burdens for temple repair work may also be included.
Why don't you ask the reason for the amount again?
Hypothetically, if it's just a simple donation and that price, let's make a comprehensive judgment by asking about the offering until the 49th and the annual fee that will be required every year if you continue to be a parishioner in the future.
Of course, an empty sleeve won't swing, so if you can't pay, you have no choice but to ask another temple.
In that case, if there is a tomb at the family temple, it may be necessary to finish the tomb and return the graveyard.
Donations are donations (gifts), not service fees, but I think it is up to each person to decide whether to pay or not to pay.

Giving gifts is difficult, isn't it?
The other day, it was about one-tenth of this consultation, and everything was held at the funeral as the client said. You can't cut corners.
Also, at one point, the amount of money mentioned at the family temple that came to the Makura Sutra was too expensive, and after discussions with relatives for a while, they were refused (left) that temple and asked for my temple. (One day had passed since he passed away, so I found out)

Funeral fees all vary depending on region, denomination, and temple. I don't know what's right or wrong. The only thing I can say is that it depends on the client's perception (value) of the offering. Also, it depends on how far you have been in a relationship since usual.

The relationship between temples and parishioners will also change in the future, so I think they must have a pleasant and trusting relationship with each other.
Also, we must continue to stay in a relationship as long as it is the family temple. I hope you can think about it based on that too.

Senpai and older brothers gave various advice
Because it's done,
I won't say anything in particular,
If it's the same area,
Nashi no memorial service is also
I'm lonely, so at least
Even if it's just a memorial service,
I'll do it.
After the cremation is over,
I'll visit you at home too.
I will firmly decline the offering.
Donations are something you receive,
As for what you're looking for here,
That's because it never will happen.
What's more, expensive designations, etc.
That's impossible.
There are all kinds of boys in the world
Be careful to be there
Please stop it.
An old woman's kindness,
compassion, and
Be foggy and modest
I was able to live,
Have a splendid life
I feel it.
Denomination or whatever, that is,
It's a relationship.
If you do whatever you want,
That's fine.

grandma,
Since the Pure Land of Paradise has been confirmed,
Please don't worry.

I wish you all the best
I'm praying.