It's been 3 months since my father passed away

Nice to meet you at Obutsuhan, Mr. Tan Shio-sama. My name is Akazawa from Ichimyoji. I'm sorry for your heartache.

If my mother's love is deeper than the ocean, my father's back is bigger than a mountain. Please don't belittle yourself.

You can't surpass your father, because no matter how old you are, you're a father. And because you are you.

“Have I become like my father?”
“Can't I be like my father?”

There are people in the world who don't think of their father as a Buddha meal, and I'm thankful that I have a father I can respect forever, so why not change my mind about not surpassing my father, but rather having a great father I can be proud of.

I can't get the image of your dear and precious father who passed away out of my mind.
Exactly, that is why they are parents and children.
But you're not your dad's copy robot.
I think your father was made by the environment you grew up in, and your father was made by the environment your father grew up in.
So, you and your dad are not the same.
However, I feel sorry for my father, think that his father would have done this... and I think my father would be very pleased to put it into action.
I think it's the most heartfelt memorial service (^_^).
However, if you don't worry about your mind because of that practice, that wouldn't be good!!
After all, you are you. Make yourself your base. Your father will continue to protect you like that.

There are people whose father is too good socially, and their children have complexes, and they have neurosis.
There was probably parental oppression and pressure, but I think it was also because the person himself was not independent in the true sense of the word.
You are walking the path of familiarity so that you can love yourself.
Actually, that's because he's not your father's kid.
I'm sorry to make you feel excited.
But that doesn't mean it's a DNA issue that is causing a stir in the world.
That's because it's a father's and mother's child.
Even if you want to meet your father's expectations, you may not be able to do it in terms of genre, field, physical strength, or intellect.
I think you should do yours.
Because you are a father's child, and you are also a mother's child.
Just because you have similar faces doesn't mean you're receiving all of the DNA on the side that's 100% similar. Since we have received both of those powers and wisdom, it is good if the flowers that bloom within them bloom. Even though they are related by blood, the fields they grew up in are different.
But the feeling of respect is important.
The farmer who passed away the other day said it many times during his lifetime.
“I don't know for my dad at all”
It was a feeling of respect.
It's not a negative feeling, it's positive, I can't keep up with it as a goal, as an ideal, but it's great. I acknowledge and praise my father.
The head of the palace carpenter, who built the main hall of the temple I'm in charge of, also said, “It's absolutely no match for my ancestors or people from the olden days.”
Nevertheless, that person is a famous master recognized by everyone in Japan.
Please abandon the erroneous way of seeking a path of “comparison and inferiority complex,” and dedicate your feelings of “respect and admiration” to the Holy Spirit in order to move forward. Let your and your father's souls resonate, and let your father guide you the way you should go.

“The existence of a 'father' still drives me. “That fact” ~ even though this is a big point, you take it as “suffering,” right?

From birth until about the age of underage, it seems that boys are often similar to their mothers and girls are similar to their fathers, but strangely enough, men become similar to their fathers and women are similar to their mothers after middle age. Rather than making a face, it's the atmosphere, rear view, voice, etc.

I've been told that my face looks like my mother's since I was young, but since I was over 40, it has come to be said that my rear appearance while reciting sutras has become similar to my father.

People are parents of the same sex who first spend a long time after birth. Therefore, I unconsciously remember those words and actions and grow up, and I think the words and actions I learned when I became an adult will unknowingly come out again.

Then, I will follow the teachings, discipline, etc. told by my parents, and teach and discipline my child again. Parents pass away, and even if that form disappears, it will continue to remain firmly in the child.

It's not a question of surpassing or not being able to surpass, but the fact that my parents gave birth to me and the fact that we spent time together forms “me.” So, more than you might think, you continue to exist with your father (and of course your mother). In other words, before questioning whether to become like a father, they have already formed, and “the existence of a “father” still drives me. I think “that fact” is the root of who you are.

Gassho

Buddha meal is Tan Shio-sama
I'm Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an.

Do you feel that the presence of your father, who was made up of a Buddha, is even greater?
But I feel like it's a happy thing for both father and Takao in a sense. Not everyone is necessarily close, even if they are born as parents and children. Under such circumstances, the fact that the father's presence is visible and hidden behind something probably means that they are bound by such a strong bond.

You don't have to be able to surpass it, right?
You don't have to think that you should surpass it, do you?
Let's have them watch over you as the Buddha closest to you.

Also, I think one of the reasons why Takao feels a lot about his father's presence is that not much time has passed yet.
When the seasons go around 2 times, that is, after 2 years, I think there are things that fall head over and over again. Until then, it may be 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, and it may be positive or painful, but I think that is also important.

Also, if you have a hard time, please contact hasunoha.

Buddha meal is Tan Shio-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Once again, I would like to express my sincere condolences on the passing of my father.

In the previous question, it was mentioned that there was a feud with her father during her lifetime, but at the time of his death, it was stated as an “emotion that forgave everything,” and although he seemed to have calmly accepted his father's death, there are still various kinds of father's presence, and it seems that Buddha meals are a big part of Mr. Tan Shio-sama, and I'm sorry for the extent of the painful feelings...

However... “Obutsuhan is Tan Shio-sama” means “Obutsuhan is Tan Shio-sama,” and you cannot become a “father,” and there isn't much point in being able to compare yourself to “father.”

Regarding “comparing,” the recent question “How can I gain confidence?” It is handled at (http://hasunoha.jp/questions/348). Or, ask, “I'm so envious of my friends around me.” I think everyone's answers and poor answers (http://hasunoha.jp/questions/290), the question “I don't rejoice in people's success” (http://hasunoha.jp/questions/184), and the question “I don't like myself not to rejoice in my friends' happiness” () will also be helpful. http://hasunoha.jp/questions/124

By all means, I hope you understand that “comparison” doesn't have much meaning.

Of course, if you want to be like your “father,” make an effort as one goal, and it leads to your own improvement, that is a really good thing, but in comparison, belittling yourself too much is one of the bad worries.

Regarding this, I am dealing with the following question.

Question “When I want you to take care of yourself. What kind of words should I use?”
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/378

While offering a memorial service for “father” in the Pure Land, while thinking about retribution, I try to live a way of life that is worthy of your father, and I also know that I want you to live your own life with confidence little by little.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho