Is it bad to hold a memorial service for the 33rd anniversary?

Nice to meet you, hello.

I think a memorial service is about spending time with pure prayer and a smile.

My friends lost their parents and siblings one after another. There were times when life was difficult due to making requests to faraway family temples and transportation expenses. It seems that the temple was unable to make a request for the first anniversary. It seems that they recited the Heart Sutra themselves and offered food they loved. It seems that the chief priest of the family temple talked about it. It seems that the chief priest sympathized with it. Your sincerity has definitely come through... it seems that those words brought tears to my eyes.

Even if you don't have a Buddhist altar, even if it's a Buddhist altar purchased at a 100 yen shop, rather than having an expensive Buddhist altar or an expensive memorial service, I think spending every day with pure prayer and a smile is more important than anything else. My late wife didn't have a Buddhist altar, and I put my hands together every morning and night on a chest of drawers with a cup I bought at a 100 yen shop, and a rice bowl incense stand.

I hope that those of us left behind in this world (Higan) will spend our days with a smile. I don't want those of us left behind to feel sad.

I think a Buddhist altar is a telephone connecting the equinox and this coast. Even if the tomb is far away and you can't pray, I think if you put your hands together in front of the Buddhist altar... they'll quickly smile and stare at the sight of your ancestors and loved ones coming to your side and worshiping you.

What matters is a smile and pure prayer.

I hope you can arrange a life called an adventure trip with hope in your own way.

Gassho

Good evening.
First of all, it seems that maternal relatives protect the death of maternal grandparents, so let's leave it up to the person who protects or doesn't do the memorial service. I think you should make the memorial service of your choice.

On the other hand, as for your father's grandmother and older brother's wife at your parents' house, you are currently protecting the graveyard and Buddhist altar, and it seems that you are the point of contact with the family temple, so please talk to the family temple once.
At my temple, letters are sent to the house where the memorial service is being held the following year, but each house sent letters while thinking things like “I wonder if the children who were there at the funeral have grown up,” “I wonder if the husband who was doing his best at that time is doing well,” and “they did their best to protect this house by themselves, but what happened after that,” and on the day of the day, I saw how the family seemed to be doing well, “the kids at that time were already high school students and couldn't come to the club activity game today.” I'm relieved to hear that story. I think the temple of your family cares about you too. I'm worried if I don't hear from you. Please talk to the family temple.

　The monk's answer above is excellent, so I'll give it an additional answer.
Memorial services for the anniversary are not just memorial services for the deceased. It also serves as a safety check for relatives.
Lonely deaths have become a social issue in recent years, but the number of times you can meet relatives you can't meet during Obon, the end of the year, and the new year may increase due to memorial services. I think the status of your relatives was reaffirmed in various ways by getting in touch with your relatives during the memorial service for the 33rd anniversary of your death?
There are people in my family who died alone. It seems that it took a week until it was discovered. I wish we had gotten in touch more then.
By reducing the number of memorial services from now on, won't what you've been able to see until now become invisible? I want you to think about that. Even if they are relatives, if they live far apart, they will talk less than friends. Next time we get together, let's talk about the end of life with our relatives.