Is it OK for the former wife and second wife to have the same graves

I'd like to ask about burial in graves. I look forward to working with you.

My mother died of illness 20 years ago, and then my father remarried.
The remarriage partner does not have children.
My father is my second son, so I built a new tomb for my mother instead of at my parents' house.
My father is also getting older, so while discussing how they should be in the grave in the future, my father says that he and his second wife are in the same tomb as his former wife as a matter of course.
Is that the right thing to do?
Also, is it OK for a former wife and second wife to go into the same tomb? (It's a strange story, but wouldn't it turn into a fight?)
I sent an email asking you to let me know.
Thank you for your support.

5 Zen Responses

　There is no problem

　These are the people who went to the country of the Buddha.

There is no fixed form for a memorial service.

What is important is the feeling of thinking about someone important to you.

Please do your best to do what you think is good for them.

Feelings are more important than shape, and what is important is feeling.

Honestly, I don't care about the shape.

I'll put my hands together properly, and that's all for that reason.

After attaining Buddhism, he did not become a layman

Nice to meet you, hello.

I asked her biological parents and stepmother about their worries about the end of their lives. I'm worried.
The purpose is unclear, so let's start with the Jodo Shinshu area for now.

In conclusion, if the people themselves are satisfied with each other, then there is no problem with teaching. I can't hear the stepmom's reaction from the text, but it's probably the father's policy precisely because she didn't refuse. Also, if they were to be separate ossuaries, there may be a father's concern that if the number of graves increases, it will be difficult to maintain successors.

Even from the perspective of teaching, the deceased becomes a Buddha in paradise, which means they become the same as Buddha. If there were two Buddha statues, would they “get into a fight, etc.” In other words, there's nothing wrong with it. It's a question of how you view the deceased.

For the above reasons, I think it would be nice if you followed your father's policy.
Just for your reference.

I hope you can use it as a reference

Nice to meet you, good morning.

If you find it helpful...

I took care of my wife 13 years ago due to illness. At the time, I was still in my early 30s, and my kids were 3 and 5 years old. My late wife wanted a new mom... for her children.

Instead of thinking about a new life or getting divorced and entering the same grave for my new wife, I wanted to go into my wife's grave. While I was conscious, I spoke over and over again. My eldest son has a disability, so I told my second son the location of his wife's grave and went to visit his grave.

There are also circumstances in each family, etc., and since they had a relationship so that it wasn't like this... they became the same family, I don't think there is a problem with entering the same grave.

Pure prayers always reach our ancestors, etc. Our bodies contain the wishes and hopes of many of our ancestors and parents.

Please spend your days without forgetting your ancestors or your late mother.

Gassho

Of course it's fine.

Hello Aloha.

I wonder if it's okay to put my second wife's remains in my former wife's grave.
Of course, it's fine. Graves are made by taking over the house system, so there is an image that no one other than the family can enter, but if the owner is good, any person can enter. (However, in temples and cemeteries, there is a rule that only families are involved, so in that case it is an addition)

What's more, both the former wife and second wife are family members, so if the bereaved family doesn't have emotional problems, there is no problem even if they join them. An emotional problem is, for example, in an extreme example, when the second wife is unlucky enough to be lost due to the infidelity of the second wife, and the family is not satisfied with entering together, etc., it is not the thoughts of the former wife/second wife in the other world, but rather a mental issue where the bereaved family is not satisfied. If there is a sense of incongruity with the bereaved family, a sincere memorial service through the grave will not be possible. In that case, it would be possible to think about it even once. Of course, even in such cases, it is possible if the client has a big heart that “when they die, everyone is a Buddha.”
The basic thing is that it's fine. Gassho

There's no problem with Buddhism.

Because all those who have died have become Buddhists
Like humans, they have nothing to do with jealousy or irritability.
If you don't care about your second wife
I think it would be good for everyone to go to the same grave.

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