What should I do about a W affair...

I've been having an affair since 1 year ago.
My opponent doesn't have children. I have one toddler.
He doesn't get along very well with his wife, and they seem to have been treated as dirty, smelly, etc. at home, so I'm not on bad terms.
Rather, he is a very understanding and kind husband. However, my bad breath has been severe since around 7 years ago, and I've pointed it out several times and recommended going to the dentist, but they haven't taken action...
I never talked to my husband's father about my intentions, and my father conveyed it to him, and as a result, I finally went to the dentist recently.
However, when I noticed it, I began to physiologically not accept my husband, and I became more and more addicted to my current relationship, and there were times when the three of us went out with my son.
Among them, the feeling of being together grew, and when he decided to divorce his wife last month, they found out about me via an acquaintance, and they messed them up! I won't let you do whatever you want! It seems that he was told that he thought it might harm us if he became aggressive about divorce or separation, and it seems that he made a promise with his wife that instead of not seeing me again, he would not go to our place.
I was relieved to hear that, but I also felt sad somewhere. I was wondering if the relationship was over yet, but he told me that although I can't move right now, I want to stay connected to my wife until the day I break up, and I'm still on LINE. However, my wife is suspicious at home, so we can't get in touch as before, and I'm confused about that, and I don't have the confidence to wait for the day of divorce where I don't know when it will happen... On the other hand, I also feel scared when I imagine that my husband found out about my affair, got divorced, and my son was taken. Still jealous that he went home and spent time with his wife? I also have myself doing it...
I was also born with a selfish idea that we should hide and keep dating without getting divorced... but of course there are risks when they find out, and I've always been worried about whether I should break up with him once and for all. Someone said infidelity is like narcotics, but I am keenly aware that is really the case.
Frustrated that he acts unsuspecting his wife because he might go towards me? I also have close feelings. I don't want them to find out again, but it's contradictory, isn't it? I'm sure it's Rie! Rie! I have that kind of feeling because I want him to think, can I say that I really like him... I don't know what to do anymore.

4 Zen Responses

If he has a new girlfriend

The kind of guy who abandons his wife and switches over to you is likely to abandon you once he has a new girlfriend again.
Either way, please put your child's happiness first.

I think it would be preferable to break up.

I read it.
The fact that you and that person are in a relationship is an illusion. They are both conveniently pursuing desires and fantasies. So it's narcotics, or rather addiction.
I think it is desirable to say goodbye as soon as possible.
Let's break up once and for all.
And let's stop getting in touch at all for a while.
Please be aware that you and that person have committed a crime.

Please take a look back at each really important relationship.

I sincerely pray that both you and that person will notice relationships with people who are really important to you, and live a happy life with all of you.

It's time to break up.

That's because it became such a situation
We should probably just break up once and for all.

What is myself who can't stop an affair

I read it a lot, but it's a common story...
Buddhism is my “teaching of becoming a Buddha.” “Becoming a Buddha” means “awakening to the truth.” Please reflect on yourself, who is drowning in lust, and think about what “loving” actually means. Love is said to be unconditional. If men have conditions for their partner, such as being smelly or kind, that doesn't mean they love them. Can I set conditions for my child? Unconditionally accepting no matter how smart or stupid a child is, no matter how cute or not, is often compared to a form of “love” for a parent to their child. Also, there are strengths and weaknesses depending on the person, but it is humans who cannot control their own desires. Therefore, please worry about infidelity, get rid of all your worries, and build up your own “awakening” and “awareness” one by one. This is called “wisdom” in Buddhist terms. Then, please build up that “wisdom” throughout your life. That is “the perfection of wisdom = becoming a Buddha.”

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