After finishing the memorial service on the 49th

It may have become a blessing. There doesn't seem to be any trouble though.
It just so happened that there was someone (grandson) who could see, hear, and understand, so is it comfortable?
If it were me, I would like to ask my grandmother a lot of questions. How was the last time you died? What was it like and what did you think when you were reborn? How far can we act now? Can we at least see and hear if we can go to a level above or below the human world? It can be a human being or a “spirit” in the same situation, so is there anyone else I can communicate with? What are you doing with “food, clothing, and shelter”? For example, what kind of trouble would it be if my current house was taken over by manpower and my relatives couldn't come? Do you think we can “move”?
I would like to take this rare opportunity to confirm that it exists in Buddhist scriptures, and that it is difficult to confirm the truth or falsehood.
When I hear that kind of thing, I think my grandmother herself will be able to better grasp her own situation. Surprisingly, there are many things you don't even understand, and you may think it's inconvenient even as it is. The final question is not meant to make the grandmother feel bad, but also includes the meaning of preparing for further reincarnation from the current situation. Life continues to be reincarnated, so it's safe if you have a good grasp of the current situation and stay calm even when you seem to be reincarnated somewhere.
There is also an example where Swedenborg interacted with the spirit world, which is probably based on fact, but in spite of the large amount of information, there were only similar patterns, and I think they remained within the range he could see and hear.
Both Westerners and Japanese people don't know or believe in the Rokudō Reincarnation as taught by Buddhism, so if they are in a state where they can live well and moderately even after death, there is a high possibility that they will settle for it.
Elder Sumanasara's “What Happens After Death?” (Kadokawa Bunko) I think we should simply think about the situation of the Rikudo Reincarnation in mind, incidentally, everyone dies, and the current good and bad karma creates the next self, so all humans share the Buddhist worldview with their grandmother, and help each other, appreciate each other, and share their merits until the time of breakup that always comes someday.

I read your consultation.

It's a strange feeling, isn't it? It seems like I'm in love with my grandmother, and it's kind of safe, but somehow I feel uneasy about this...

I think there are two possibilities.

One is that, as Fujimoto says, the grandmother is reincarnated in some kind of next situation and the child can actually get in touch.

Another thing is that children are in a situation where they want to make such statements even though they haven't actually been contacted.

Various cases can be expected here.

In the case of small children, if you say such things, it may be because parents are happy, or because they are funny when they are in trouble.
Even grown children may say such things because they don't do well at school, work, etc., and they want to get attention at home.
Or there may be cases where people say what they have learned by belonging to some religious group, etc.

First of all, it's not about the direction of what to do with a grandmother who can't be seen with your eyes, but it's likely that you can get hints for the future by facing your child.

I don't understand this, so I can't directly deny it, and conversely, I can't just believe it word for word.

I don't know what it actually is, but I have no choice but to observe carefully from the fact that children say that anyway.

The children may also be watching closely how each family feels about their grandmother's death.

People are more than facts

・I want to do this
・I want it to happen like this
・This is how it should be

There is a tendency for that thought to take precedence and distort the facts and interpret them. Opportunities to burn incense sticks will also increase, so it may not be uncommon for them to smell suddenly.

When the fact that “the scent of incense sticks” intersects with the desire to “meet my grandmother,” it is possible that it can be interpreted as “the scent of incense sticks = grandmother is coming.”

Let's think slowly while remembering our late grandmother.

Continuing from last time.

is that so? My son can still see it, right? It's strange, and it also happens. That's it.
Eventually, you won't be able to see it, and there's no need to worry about it.