hasunoha

What should I do to accept my father's death?

I'm indebted to you.

My father had an accident the other day and passed away.
My mom and I can't have a conversation with my father, whom I love.

My two older brothers are making arrangements and preparations for various things. My dad's brother and my uncle are helping me too.

I was entrusted with my mother's support, but on the contrary, I panicked, and on the contrary, bothered my mother.

I'm the only one in a state where I can't do anything and I'm in a state of heartache.

How should I take it and move forward from now on?
Thank you for your support.

4 Zen Responses

Instead of dad

It must be tough, but let me tell you,
Let's protect our mom instead of our dad. I'll be there for you, let's ask them to talk to me.
You're already taller than your mom, and you can carry luggage, right?
My time as a child in the family is over. By firmly protecting and supporting the mother here, the father can also fulfill the responsibility of raising children.
Rely on the elders for things you don't understand. If it's about funerals, you can ask about it here at hasunoha. That's because there are a lot of active monks.
Also, do it when you want to make a weak sound. That's because there are a lot of active monks.
You can do it while crying. It takes action.

Exists.

You're in deep sorrow right now...
it's painful...
I lost my parents, so I could really feel the pain of sorrow.

I think just being by your mother's side is enough.

I think being able to sympathize with your presence and feelings of sadness, even if you don't talk, even if you show your appearance of sadness, makes your heart feel at ease.

don't overdo it...

Please don't overdo it with each amount that your mind can accept.

The human mind is like a bowl, and the amount of events that can be accepted is determined. If you don't accept it, it will overflow.
Moreover, the size of the bowl varies from person to person.

As Snee K says she's panicking right now, I think her bowl is already full due to her father's death.

Each person can accept different amounts. Everyone else is fine, so I should be fine too! What I think is that they don't acknowledge the differences between people. It is called unequal equality.

So don't overdo it and support your family to the extent possible.
Fortunately, I thought the families around me were kind people who didn't have the idea of unequal equality.

Your father's death is sad, but please move forward little by little on your own feet and at your own pace.

Don't overdo it, let nature take its course

I would like to express my condolences to your father for passing away.
You died in an accident, didn't you? It's hard to accept that you will die even if you die of illness, but it's not unreasonable if you suddenly die in a panic or even if you can't get your hands on anything.
In Buddhism, one hundred days is called the taboo of crying, and crying is positioned as a time to graduate, but there are many differences in how grief heals from person to person. Just like stopping crying, crying heals grief. Don't force yourself to cry, but don't put up with crying when you feel like crying.
I can't talk or eat with the person who passed away anymore, but in Snek's heart, my father lives on and continues to watch over Snek. Please don't try to accept death too quickly; let's just wait for our emotions to calm down naturally.