I decided to die by December

Hello, nice to meet you.

I grew up thinking “I'm a person I don't need.” Also, even if you become an adult and have a partner, “I'm afraid of being told I don't need you at the end.”

I love myself unconditionally and never abandon myself.

You probably still can't take advantage of the fact that there is such a free heart in the world. I think of those days of unrequited struggle.

However, even though it must be ingrained in your bones that you are not being rewarded even if you ask for that free heart, it is probably this affair that made you have a glimmer of hope. Despite the fact that “infidelity is like that.”

I am grateful to have a “friend or sister” who gives me such serious encouragement and says, “If they are always there for me and can help me, they will do anything.” However, when you heard the important words around you, you wrote, “I am happy to be loved so much, and I feel relieved when I die feeling happy without any remorse.”

Also, it is said that the reason for “posting” this time was because “I wanted everyone to know that there was such a person.”

With the words “friend or sister,” your final conclusion should have come.
However, I dared to post it from there.

It's often said that you don't want to ask, but didn't you really want to ask a question? Is there such a free heart that loves oneself unconditionally and never abandons itself? I wonder if that love is something my heart has something to do with me.

For you right now, every human language is probably very light.
No matter how many thousand words are repeated, it's light.
This is because those words lack the determination to take on your life, the infallibility to acknowledge and care for you.

I think what you need now is not a human being, but the heart and words of the Buddha.

unscrupulously ingested

It is a compassionate heart that takes on you in its entirety and never abandons you.
Suffer just like you and grieve just like you.
He will lead your happiness by walking with you throughout your life.

That heart is already on your side.
If you feel that intention, please put your hands together.
You are supported by a free spirit anytime, anywhere.

appending
Thank you very much for your kind words.
I was worried about you.
It's in the same prefecture, so please stop by if you have another chance.

If you wish to pass away in the Pure Land of Paradise by calling them Namu Amida Buddha and Nembutsu, you can be born in the Pure Land of Paradise with the power of Amida Buddha.
The Jodo sect thinks that way.
Happiness at death and in the afterlife is confirmed by Namu Amida Buddha.
Don't worry, the happy ending of your life will be decided.
The rest is how to spend your time in this world peacefully and what you can do for the happiness of others other than yourself.
By the way, it is said that 90% of people who commit suicide suffer from “depression.”
Why don't you talk to a medical institution?
Recently, it seems that a virus that makes the causative agent of depression has also been discovered.
Maybe the time will come when we can treat feelings of wanting to commit suicide.

Emi

What is its value in the first place?

Public standards etc. cannot be relied upon, and they are originally relative, and they change rapidly in times, environments, etc.

There is no such thing as absolute value.

Aren't you judging your own value without permission and deciding yourself that way?

It is clear that your value, which you have decided for yourself, is also different from the value already judged by your friends and older sister.

Don't make up your mind.

Well, if you need some kind of high value, of course it's just a relative value, but I'll tell you one of the highest values in terms of Buddhism.

In Buddhism, we first value the birth of the “Bodhi Heart.”

Bodhicitta is a strong determination that I want to gain enlightenment for all sentient beings so that all sentient beings can be happy, so that all sentient beings can be saved.

All sentient beings in this world, including you, are suffering. Please expand your horizons a little bit wider. Please take a close look at how everyone is.

Everyone, big or small, has experienced breakups with loved ones, experienced many painful and unpleasant events, and suffered from illness, old age, and death. I'm suffering because I've been succumbed to my desires and worries. Also, no matter what you ask for, you are not satisfied, and you may suffer with an empty heart.

They are, respectively, afflicted by love, bitterness, suffering, old suffering, sickness, death, suffering, suffering, and unrequited suffering. Actually, living is something that everyone is uniformly suffering in itself.

For those suffering like that, I think it's the same as my own suffering, and I hope they can think that it would be nice if everyone's suffering, including myself, would go away, even just a little bit.

Having people think so is actually the first step in Buddhism, it is one of the most important things in Buddhism, and it is of great value.

Also, Shakyamuni shows how to eliminate such suffering.

If you and everyone else put that method into practice, your suffering will surely go away.

What do you think? Did you get a little bit interested?

If you are interested, I would be very grateful if you could learn and proceed with Buddhism from here.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

consultation? Thank you very much.
Let's think about it together.

The person facing Buddhism is me.
The Buddha left the words Onusei, Dokusei, and Dokurai in the “Buddha theory Muryoju-kyo.” It's about being alone, and humans are alone.

In fact, Buddha also got married, had children, lived in the royal palace, and lived a life without any inconvenience.
But I'm not satisfied. I had doubts about my life, so I became a monk and became an ascetic monk.

They repeated penance, and it was impossible to attain enlightenment in it.

The world is already full of suffering.
I can't keep snuggling up to someone.
You can't stay close to someone's grief.

Right now, I'm also living in a state of doubt.

If you're that sad, you'll be able to be closer than I am to someone who is grieving right now in the same way.

You may be able to stop being loved with peace of mind, but your friends, who were unable to stop even after consulting, will live with regrets for the rest of their lives.
I didn't live on my own. Being alive means being kept alive by tens of thousands or hundreds of millions of relationships.
It has become infinitely difficult to see in modern society.
Modern society is moving so that relationships between people become as far away as possible.

I couldn't put it together and it was late, but I was able to reply.

There's still a little time until December.
Please post again.