How to live after an abortion
I became pregnant with a child with him who had been going on for 6 years due only to physical relationships. I'm currently in week 7.
I'm in my first year as a working person and he's a student.
No matter how much I talk to him, my desire to give birth won't change.
His final answer was
・I want to give up now, start a proper relationship now, love each other, get married, and have children.
・Now, even if I give birth, I don't have the confidence to become a father. I'm going to live for my kids, and I can't live for me.
That was it. Right now, thinking about my child's happiness and his future, I've decided to have an abortion. I'm dating him, and I plan to get married once he decides to get a job.
Certainly, as he said, considering each other's happiness and the happiness of our children, I know we shouldn't give birth now.
However, no matter what, my desire to have a baby hasn't changed, and I can't decide to have an abortion.
It's better to give up now, and both of our mothers say that, and I don't know if I can make them happy even if this child is born in a state that only I want.
Even so, I just can't give up.
I gave up on my kids with such an ambiguous feeling, will I be able to live on from now on?