hasunoha

How to live after an abortion

I became pregnant with a child with him who had been going on for 6 years due only to physical relationships. I'm currently in week 7.
I'm in my first year as a working person and he's a student.
No matter how much I talk to him, my desire to give birth won't change.
His final answer was
・I want to give up now, start a proper relationship now, love each other, get married, and have children.
・Now, even if I give birth, I don't have the confidence to become a father. I'm going to live for my kids, and I can't live for me.
That was it. Right now, thinking about my child's happiness and his future, I've decided to have an abortion. I'm dating him, and I plan to get married once he decides to get a job.
Certainly, as he said, considering each other's happiness and the happiness of our children, I know we shouldn't give birth now.
However, no matter what, my desire to have a baby hasn't changed, and I can't decide to have an abortion.

It's better to give up now, and both of our mothers say that, and I don't know if I can make them happy even if this child is born in a state that only I want.
Even so, I just can't give up.

I gave up on my kids with such an ambiguous feeling, will I be able to live on from now on?

2 Zen Responses

Let's not just have happiness that is convenient for us.

Yes...
Even if you get married to him in the future and have a child, that child and the child in my stomach now are different lives.

Even if you both have a future, you'll never see your hungry child again. I can't believe it's an unwanted life... It's sad...

The convenience... arguments of the people living today are well understood, though. I want you to remember that selfish reasons can kill lives.

There's a proper choice for the two of them to keep thinking (living hand in hand) for this child, right?

For the sake of this child's life,
It sounds tough, but I want to tell you guys.

Let's not just have happiness that is convenient for us.

Please face it firmly

I read it.
After reading your feelings, I think it would be preferable for you to deal with that child thoroughly once again.
Is it OK to just let go of that child's life due to temporary feelings?
I think it is preferable for both you and him to face it and talk about it closely, and if possible, talk to the people around you.

Many people will take advantage of your consultations in various forms, and I think they will support, encourage, and support you and him.
https://www.bosei-navi.mhlw.go.jp/advice/
https://zenninnet-sos.org/contact-list
https://nsost.jp/
http://www.pref.tochigi.lg.jp/e06/ninshin_shussan.html
http://www.pref.tochigi.lg.jp/e68/welfare/kodomo/kosodatesoudan/jisouwhat.html
You're never alone.
Please don't be in a hurry and let's calm your mind by taking a break first.
Also, please listen to the voice of your heart and body.
Also, please talk to various people...

I sincerely hope that you and him will first try to calm your mind and face each other firmly while being considerate of each other.

And I sincerely pray to the Buddha, God, and your ancestors that you, him, and your newly born life will grow healthily.