I don't like myself speaking ill of people

Do monks speak ill of people or complain about them?
In my selfish imagination, I think most people don't say it.

Naturally, it is frustrating when there is dissatisfaction with people or unreasonable events.
If you don't let go of that frustration, you'll think about it forever.
So, even though I put up with it, I ended up talking to my friends, and sometimes I complained on SNS.

Of course, speaking ill of people or talking about bad events doesn't make me feel cheerful, and I wouldn't want to say it if possible.
I learned that the human brain can't understand the subject, so if you speak ill of it, you misunderstand that it is your own, and it becomes negative.
I don't want to be that kind of person, so I've been careful not to speak ill or complain.

But it's still difficult.
I've stopped posting on SNS, but I'm complaining to my friends who are good listeners.

It's strange that people who don't speak ill of others don't complain in the slightest...
Even when I ask such people how to relieve stress, they don't really understand it themselves, and they say “I don't want to speak too bad.”
But even if I wanted to, I couldn't do it...

I'm sorry because even if I show people my frustration, it just makes them uncomfortable.
And I don't like myself like that.
I want to be cheerful and peaceful in public.

How can I keep people from showing their frustration?
How do monks relieve stress?
Also, if there are people who are less likely to feel stressed and don't get frustrated with people, please tell me the secret.

We look forward to working with you.

4 Zen Responses

Roomba is also good at cleaning the main hall.

Any beautiful woman will fart and poop.
In the same way, when we sweat, we get dirty.
When I tried to stop this, I couldn't do that.
So, once it comes out, it's better than cleaning from one end to the other.

Well, do you have a broom to clean up dirt from your heart?

hasunoha.tenrakuin@gmail.com

I speak ill of it too

　Yodaka-san, the New Year is about to begin. Please take care of yourself so that you can welcome the new year in a good year.
Okay, bad talk about people, but I sympathize with you. I'm also going to talk bad about it. Even if that's not the case, it seems that there are times when a small statement sounds bad.
In my case, speaking ill of words often caused me to respond sensitively to words or put in emotions when I was ill-treated. It might be advice depending on what you say. I thought that one way the recipient felt would determine whether it was a bad word or a friendly word. For example, when someone says “old man” to me.
① They made a fool of me when I was in my early 40's, and I'm still young. It makes me think.
② old man. In Kansai and Hokuriku, monks are called old men. So yes! I will reply. If you're called an old man, it's an old man. I will correct it.
In conclusion, I think bad talk depends on the recipient's side's understanding, sense of security, and compassion. Even if your opponent says bad things, it might be a good idea to switch in a good direction.
　

Even if you speak ill of it, the results are not always good

Hello.

You want to stay in a good mood without saying bad things. I think it's a good idea.

I don't feel good when someone says bad things or when I see someone else's face in a bad mood.
If you say bad things about it, things won't be solved, and it makes me feel distressed that the words you said will reach the person in question.

If you think about the results after saying bad things or making a bad mood face, I think if you notice that the results are better if you keep in a good mood without saying bad words, you won't want to speak ill or look in a bad mood.

I won't say it if I don't like it

Guilt of speaking ill of others and
The feeling of being refreshed by saying bad things
Which one is bigger?

I also want to complain
If you make up your mind to “never speak ill or complain”
The sense of accomplishment that I didn't say anything was greater.

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