A break with the subconscious

Please don't speak to anyone, and I would be happy to discuss it with you.

We were in a relationship for a long time, lived together for about 3 years, and suddenly broke up with someone we were talking about getting married, and about two and a half years have passed since we broke up.
It took me about 2 years to recover.
I know that the day I forget or no longer like will come in the future, but I decided to take my own time to accept reality and move forward.

I have a very strong desire to get married myself, and even if it's a different future that isn't the future I wanted to fulfill, even if it's not him, I've decided to stop being attached to it, and I'm doing marriage hunting.
Marriage hunting itself wasn't easy, and I'm still in love, and I haven't met anyone I think is this person, but I think I have to do my best at this pace.

However, I always dream about him on the day I meet another man like that. The content is always decided, and he says sorry, let's live together, and it's a dream where the two of us cry.
No matter how hard I make up my mind to move forward, I am disturbed by his memories and my subconscious mind, which are engraved so strongly and deeply that nothing can be done.

Nevertheless, it has been clearly said to him before that he has no intention of getting back together, so I know what I need to do is move forward.
However, every time I have a dream, I am confronted with my true feelings and desires.

I wonder if the only way to break up with this kind of heart is to meet someone in a daze.
I would appreciate it if you could teach me how to come to terms with emotions that cannot be erased.

3 Zen Responses

Think of it as a memory from a previous life

In Buddhism, it is said that a saint who has practiced asceticism can remember all the memories of a previous life with divine power.
The sutras say that we too can acquire such abilities if we pass away in the Pure Land of Paradise.
In other words, the Buddhist interpretation is that past memories that have been forgotten are also recorded in the subconscious mind.
We have been reincarnated countless times since time immemorial.
If you can remember all of your past lives with supernatural power, you will also be able to remember all of your past encounters and breakups.
I can also remember countless family members and friends from the past.
However, as you understand, even if you have memories of the past, you have no choice but to move forward with your current life step by step.
Think of the ex-boyfriend you dream about as a memory from your previous life and past history.
There's no need to pretend that you didn't have a previous life.
Sometimes I have sad dreams, that's all.
When you're awake, try not to ruminate and think about your dreams.

Put the secret Buddha in the graveyard.

Hello.
Thank you for your question.

It was such an important presence, wasn't it?
It can also be said that time back then made me who I am now.

You don't have to force yourself to turn it off.
Obsessing about erasing is also an obsession.

Don't pretend you haven't erased it; lock it like a safe in the back of your heart like a secret Buddha that opens a book once every 100 years and take it to the grave.

Don't be bothered; blindness and bargain sales are a source of regret and further obsession.
It's fine.

I hope the day will come when sorry will change to congratulations.

Mr. Yu
Thank you for your consultation.
If a break up with someone you love is shocking, it won't go away easily, right?
Confused, and anger began to build up. That creates even more obsession, and it comes up in my dreams over and over again, doesn't it? but!
Please don't blame yourself like that
Even if it comes up in a dream, let's just play it as if we were watching a movie.
You've already taken the next step, so the trick is not to try too hard.
Next time, let's praise ourselves like that. Praise yourself over and over again.
Then, when you have a little time to spare, say thank you to your ex.
You don't have to tell them. Please say it in your heart.
Thanks for hanging out with me.
Thank you for making me grow.
And if I had more time
Thanks for breaking up.
Let's say it.

Please be sure to praise yourself for being able to say it.

I want the next person I meet to be someone I feel safe with and trust.
Please be yourself and have a natural relationship.
I'm sure you'll meet someone better than your ex.
One bow

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