ossuary

Hello.

I think about your years of hardship and the path of hardship so far.
That must have been hard.

They continued to be patient until the “three children” became independent.
At last, they were separated and settled in a “settlement” at the end of the “trial.”
I understand that you have mixed feelings at the end of your marriage.

In addition to this, my father passed away, and it is said that it extends to the ossuary.
You probably feel like you can't do it.

I'm asking, “Is it permissible for a chief priest to hold onto the power of a chief priest with such personal feelings?” Emotionally, I think you should let me bury my bones. The funeral is done because it was a “promise,” but I feel that it's strange to not let them do the ossuary.

However, in legal terms, the chief priest is a representative officer of a religious corporation, and has control over that temple. The reality is that it is difficult to legally reverse the representative's intention.

However, it looks like my son is the successor chief priest.

“I can't do it now,” but they seem to say “I'll do the ossuary when I become the chief priest,” so there is hope. I don't know when the replacement will come, but I don't think it means we can't see the future.

There may also be a feeling that “I want my mother to sleep peacefully as soon as possible.”
However, if “quickly” is prioritized, it is expected that negotiations with the current chief priest will be forced. There is a risk that your mental disturbance, which has even been prolonged, will happen again.

Right now, it may be a form of enshrining the remains next to a Buddhist altar, but I think it would be better if we could continue putting our hands together in memory of our father for a while now.

It's a very complicated situation, and you may not feel comfortable in your heart.
However, even among them, I thought it would be important for you now to be able to take as gentle a form as possible without putting a burden on your heart, so I added a word.

Please take good care of yourself.

appending
Thank you very much for your reply.
If you buy your own graveyard or ossuary, you can bury your bones there. In that case, it is necessary to store it along with the bones along with the cremation permit.
If you move to the precincts graveyard later, you will need to perform another bone extermination procedure, but reburial is possible.
Just for your reference.

Add again
Looks like there was movement again.
However, unfortunately I can't write any more due to the character limit. Sorry to trouble you, but please ask another question or contact us individually.

I read it.
I read something that you have had a very hard time with until now.
Your thoughts up until now must have been indescribable. I don't understand all of your suffering, but I sincerely apologize.
Also, I think your father passed away and you are feeling very sad. I would like to offer a memorial service for your father with all my heart. Shishin Gassho Namu Shakyamuni Buddha
Your father will always be guided by the Buddha, and your mother, close people and ancestors who have gone there will kindly welcome you. Your father will be on good terms with all of you and will peacefully attain Buddhism together. Your father will continue to gently watch over you, your sons, and everyone in your family along with your mother.
Your relationship with you, your sons, and your father and mother will continue for a long time to come.
Your sorrow will never run out, but please make a memorial service for your father with all your heart, and please pass on your thoughts as they are to your father, mother, and your ancestors. Your father, mother, and ancestors will accept all of your thoughts, gently comfort you, and take care of you and your children.

I think your mind and body are very tired. First of all, please take care of your mind and body and let them relax both mentally and physically. You are an important person. Your father, mother, ancestors, children, and many others probably care about you. Please heal you and recover.

I don't think there's anything to worry about my father's remains. There are also many people who don't bury their bones due to various circumstances. So I think it's okay to enshrine it at home and hold a memorial service. When the time comes, various options will come up, and if you try to do it in a hurry, extra expenses will increase, and it will take a lot of time and effort. Wouldn't it be nice if your mind calmed down, relax and consult with your children, and make decisions from now on? Either way, you'll miss doing anything if you hurry.

As for the chief priest, in my personal opinion, I think “an outrageous, heinous and outrageous disobedient monk is no longer a monk or a Buddhist.” Eventually, you will be rewarded with causal retribution.

First, with regard to removing bones, even if bones are transferred within the precincts, bones must not be taken out unless an application for a “reburial permit” is made by the government. However, since there are cases where bone transfer is possible due to regulations on the management side that stores cremation permits, etc., there are also cases where it is impossible to say unequivocally bad. If there is a reburial permit etc. for the remains that have come to hand, an application has been made to the government regarding the removal of the bones and they have been officially taken out, but if not, there is a possibility that it will be illegal. Below are possible criminal laws.
Criminal Code Section 188 “Disrespectful Places of Worship”
Those who commit disrespectful acts in places that are shrines, Buddhist temples, graves, or places of worship may be imprisoned for 6 months or less or fined 100,000 yen or less.
Criminal Code Section 189 “Tomb Excavation”
It is a crime of digging up a tomb or grave. You will be imprisoned for 2 years or less.
Criminal Code Section 190 “Corpse Damage, etc.”
Corpse damage also includes remains from graves, bodies stored in coffins, and bodies buried in coffins. You will be imprisoned for 3 years or less.
Criminal Law Section 191 “Tomb Excavation, Corpse Damage, etc.”
Acts that vandalize graves, destroy remains or burial goods, take them back, or destroy them in graves are also punishable. You can be imprisoned for 3 months to 5 years or less.

Therefore, a reburial permit is required to remove bones.

Up to this point, I've written without the theory of emotions.
It's more of a personal opinion than this.
No matter what the reason is, whether it's the family of the former wife,
It's outrageous that a chief priest opens a graveyard without permission.
It's a case where I won't resign or lose my monk registration.
I think the proper punishment should be given.

However, when I read your sentences, I know I don't want to be involved anymore, so I would be happy if you could take care of that path, leaving it up to your son to some extent and taking good care of your life.

Say goodbye to you.

Hello.

I read your question and “thank you.”

I'm not familiar with the law, so I think it's good to consult with an attorney, etc., but according to the law, I think the father's bones can be buried in the graveyard at that temple, and the chief priest should not be able to take the mother's bones out of the graveyard without permission or move them to another location without delivering them to the municipality.

Based on your feelings, I thought it would be better to have your mother's bones returned and keep your parents' bones at home rather than storing your father's and mother's bones at that temple. It is said that my son is the successor, so I think it would be good to leave it at home until then and have the ashes buried when the generation changes. It's not a bad thing not to bury your bones in a grave. As the monk who answered earlier said, if you hurry, negotiations will increase, and it will only be a mental burden.

Please note that permission from the temple and municipality is required to move bones, so please note that procedures are required for father's bones. I don't think you want to meet the chief priest face to face, so it's a good idea to do it through a lawyer, son, etc.