The funeral without a commandment has been completed

I read your consultation. But I don't know the details. Why can't I get a kakana

・The monk who worked at the funeral
・The family temple of my parents' house where my grave is located

There is no choice but for you to check each one firsthand. Unfortunately, it's a question I can't answer even if asked here.

though

> It looks like it was said.

Inferring from what you said, I think it is someone else, not you, who is directly involved in the series of exchanges. If so, it's a good idea to have that person check properly again, or check directly with the temple after you agree that you will check on your behalf.

As for me, I recognize that it is impossible not to give a name as a Buddhist disciple, such as a kaima or dhona, as long as you serve a funeral in the Buddhist style, but there are also cases where this is not the case.
Instead of communicating based on hearings or assumptions, etc., let's start by properly grasping the situation and listening to their explanations.

Hello.

The question text is short, and there are quite unclear points about the situation, so it's difficult to answer, but I'll write it for reference only while making up for it with imagination.

My deceased uncle's “family temple” is also my uncle's “temple with a grave.” However, the funeral was held “far away,” and the funeral was probably performed by the “monk who performed the funeral” introduced by the funeral director.

However, after the funeral, the “monk who performed the funeral” “told me to get a kakana from the temple where the tomb is located.” On the other hand, it is said that “at the family temple of my uncle's parents' house, I can't use a kajime.”

First, didn't they contact the “family temple at my parents' house” at the time of the funeral?
Recently, there have often been cases where funerals are held without contacting the “family temple,” judging by oneself because it is “far away,” and cases that have become a problem have also been asked recently.

If you first contact the “family temple” and the “family temple” is “far away” or “COVID-19,” it makes sense (there are temples where you can go even “far away”), but from the beginning, you didn't ask the “monk who performed the funeral” introduced by the funeral director because it was “far away” at your own discretion?

“Bodaiji,” which is a “temple with graves,” manages funerals and graves from generation to generation, and if there is an awareness that they are parishioners, there is a possibility that they decided that it makes no sense to complete the funeral without contact and just an ossuary.

If the situation is as described above, how about admitting the fault of not contacting the “family temple” at the time of the funeral, even if unwillingly, and then making a request again?

Apart from whether or not it is OK for the “family temple” side to even say “it is not possible to give a kaku name,” I think it is necessary to consider the method if it is not possible to give the kyo name or accept the bones without asking about the intentions of the temple that manages the tomb.

As I declined at the beginning, I've pretty much made up for the facts with imagination.
Please read it on that premise.

There have already been responses from the two responding monks, so I'm going to talk about conceptual rather than technical answers.
A Buddhist name is a Buddhist name indicating that he was given the precepts from a monk (mentor) and became an official disciple of the Buddha.
Originally, it is a place where commandments should be given during life, but it also has the meaning of “at least mourning,” and monks who performed pillow sutras and funerals act as mentors and give them the names of the precepts.
For example, the commandment called Son Goku was given by my master Sanzang Boshi.
Therefore, from the perspective of the chief priest of the family temple, it is possible to have the theory that “if another master did the ceremony of becoming an apprentice, you should ask that master to give you the commandment name.”
On the other hand, there is also a possibility that the funeral mentor will refrain from saying, “I'm sorry that I'm going to become my mentor instead of being the chief priest of the family temple.”
I think both monks have their own logic.

If it were me
When you work for a funeral for a parishioner at another temple
I'm going to have a meeting with the chief priest of that temple
The Kaima Dōmyō will be given to that person.

The parishioners at my temple
What if someone else finished a funeral before I knew it
Even so, I will give the kaima homa.

Since it doesn't go beyond speculation
What to ask directly to everyone involved
It's the surest.