what is a mother?

('omega') That was tough. Thank you for your hard work until today.
For now, for a while, let's abandon looking from above and parenting (most parents are unaware), which children in the rebellious period hate the most, and change to a style where they treat them equally and in a friendly manner as more familiar beings while exchanging jokes. Treat them like friends.
They abandon their sense of parenthood and treat each person individually.
It's important that we change our way of being according to the opponent's situation.
You should also read the message because it's annoying.
Even if ideals are imposed on children, how about Urusae Teme, huh? How was it, was it so splendid? is it still that splendid? If it's great, why am I wrong? Oh my god, we should know that humans are imperfect and find remorse.
The fact that children like to smoke is one truth.
Who do you think your husband and you are raising children for? ... right? (._.)
Even with that intention, is it really good for children?
The fact that a child rebels and rebels is a “message” from a child.
Of course, changes in children are not necessarily only related to parents, but also due to power relationships at school. Depending on the student, school is a battlefield, so if they don't feel tight, they can put their position in jeopardy. Let's have a good understanding of the circumstances behind the scenes and think flexibly.
At work, they probably worked late at night, so maybe there were times when the couple didn't get along, and they weren't treated when they wanted to be treated.
If you think for your child, parents should apologize and look at it the same way.
And let's stop raising children the way parents intended.
More than 80% of the world's mothers think they know how to handle boys, so they don't know.
Let's keep it simple.
Please read Thank You P.S. There is a limit of 1000 characters for responses here, so please ask again.

> Late-night wandering, late arrival, skipping, smoking, etc.
This is tough, isn't it? It's not a situation where the mother is the one who endures it.
The rebellious period means that people are rebelling against something, and is it society in general, becoming an adult, or Elly, who is their mother?

I'm worried that Elly doesn't know what to do anymore. For now, don't think about doing anything, keep calm, adjust your breathing, and keep in mind that you will live a healthy physical and mental health every day. Then, once Elly is ready, let's think about her son again at that time.

Rebellion against parents and opposition when you were a teenager are essential gateways to success if you become a musician or artist. If your son becomes a person who will leave a mark on history, there is no doubt that everyone will flip their palm and say, “The way parents raised them was good.”

That was a bit off topic, but first of all, please take care of yourself. If you can afford it, please clean your house thoroughly. We support the creation of homes that will make you want to go home.

Dear Elly

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

We have answered similar concerns about raising children before, as shown in the questions below.

Question “I don't know how to treat a son who is disqualified as a mother.”
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/1002980123.html

“... Instead of imposing one's own way of thinking and method on children, I know that it would be good to have a good discussion with my husband about how to do well, not just pamper them and let them do whatever they want, and how to properly use candy and whips. ・・”

What kind of situation is Elly's husband's involvement and attitude in child-rearing, discipline, education, etc... it's speculation, but I feel that it is too much of a one-sided burden on Elly... but I think it is necessary for the couple to have thorough discussions and first cooperate with the two of them to face their son.

“... After all, it is important for couples to cooperate to advance child-rearing, and strict like a father and kindness like a mother are necessary. This severity and gentleness must go hand in hand. As is the case with the strict teachings of wisdom and the teachings of gentle mercy in Buddhism, it is similar to the fact that it is difficult to practice Buddhism with just one or the other, so it is necessary to practice both teachings firmly. ・・”

Also, it's not very wise to endure bad behavior and overlook it, even if it's my own child. I believe that the true form of love is to make them aware and responsible as adults in order to live a solid moral and ethical life in society. I recommend that you take a resolute attitude and be able to deal with bad behavior without taking it alone while getting the cooperation and cooperation of your husband, family, school, police, government, and stakeholders.

I pray for good deeds.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

This is a poem by a person named Yoshinori Noguchi.

http://16.xmbs.jp/teamp4-290608-ch.php?guid=on

I wonder if I can become such a parent...
I read it with that in mind.
It's too long, so I can't introduce the full story here.

What struck me was the next sentence.

“Why did your child become such a “bad kid”
I think your family also has a cause.”
My mother's expression changed at that moment

My mother clearly had angry eyes
Stare at the vice-principal
I said it once and for all

“This kid isn't a bad kid”

Surprised by the power, the vice-principal was speechless
Mother continued

“What this kid did is wrong
As a parent, I also have responsibilities
But this kid isn't a bad kid.”

It's like I got slapped to the fullest
I was shocked like that
I was desperate to hold back my tears

My mother is like this about me
I thought he was a really wonderful person...
I hid and cried alone later

Please actually read the full story.

Neither the child nor the mother are bad kids.
Making mistakes isn't a bad thing.
Now, while worrying and suffering about how to walk the road
For my son who is walking “because you are amazing”
I also had the courage to think, and as a parent of two children
I think it's something I want to have.
I'm sorry.

well then. well then.
Gassho